BONEQUEST

EPISODES: 2022

No. Date   Title / Dialog Players Tags
0 2/29/2022 number zero
#deuce-pants
#exception
#german
#green-background
#nine-dicks
#python
8,324 1/1/2022 in the car
spigot: I BEAT OFF IN THE CAR WITH SAFEWAY CONDITIONER
spigot
#beating-off
#green-background
#safeway
#spigot-solo
#starbucks-background
8,325 1/2/2022 99 bottles
spigot: 99 BOTTLES OF DICK IN MY MOUTH deuce: HA spigot: CAN YOU AT LEAST WAIT FOR ME TO FINISH THE JOKE BEFORE YOUR DUMB LAUGHTER spigot: 99 BOTTLES OF DICK spigot: YOU CHOKE THEM DOWN AND POKE EM AROUND spigot: 98 BOTTLES OF DICK IN MY MOUTH spigot: 98 BOTTLES OF DICK IN MY MOUTH spigot: 98 BOTTLES OF DICK spigot: YOU CH spigot: DECEASED
deuce
spigot
#death
#deuce-spigot
#dick
#joke
#laughing-deuce
#singing
#woodring-room-background
8,326 1/3/2022 of yellow to brown
spigot: ON A SCALE OF YELLOW TO BROWN, YELLOW BEING TINKLE spigot: WHAT CAN I SAY, I'M A HAND HUMPING LOSER AND MY GANG SIGN IS LITERALLY MAKING AN L ON MY HEAD spigot: CAN YOU SEE ME WIGGLING A PINKY FINGER INDICATING MY SAD, SMALL PENIS deuce: BROWN
deuce
spigot
#deuce-spigot
#mountain-background
8,327 1/4/2022 lord jesus
pants: THE LORDJESUS CHRISTHIMSELF spigot: DIARRHEAALL OVERTHE PELOTON PLUS
pants
spigot
#pants-spigot
#peloton-plus
#single-panel
#woodring-stairs-background
8,328 1/5/2022 the milking table
spigot: T DEUCE WILL YOU JOIN ME AT THE MILKING TABLE pants: COME ON MAN I’M RIGHT HERE YOU KNOW I LOVE THE MILKING TABLE HE WON’T BE AWAKE FOR HOURS
pants
spigot
#bored-pants
#deuce-pants-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#huffy-pants
#milking
#sfw
#woodring-field-background
8,329 1/6/2022 amazon echo
deuce: I GOT MY AMAZON ECHO !!!! THROWING IT IN THE TRASH WITHOUT OPENING THE BOX
deuce
#alexa
#amazon
#deuce-solo
#mousehole
#sfw
#sha-na-na
#single-panel
#woodring-room-background
8,330 1/7/2022 blk blk blk
spigot: BLK BLK BLK ASMR DICKLICKING spigot: (COCKSUCKING)
spigot
#asmr
#cocksucking
#dicklicking
#mousehole
#spigot-solo
#woodring-room-background
8,331 1/8/2022 hey
pants: U GOT A HARD-ON MISTER GRINCH spigot: :NOTES: HEY / OFFICER KRUP / KE spigot: I'M TRANS BTW :NOTES:
pants
spigot
#anybodys
#emoji
#ghetto-u
#grinch
#gunmetal-background
#pants-spigot
#singing
#trans
#weird-pants-face
#west-side-story
8,332 1/9/2022 up the river
pants: PRETTY SURE COLONEL KURTZ ISN’T UP THE RIVER AND WE SHOULD ALL JUST GO HOME spigot: I HEARD HE'S (TINKERBELL SOUND AND GESTURE) pants: (EYES POPPING OUT) (CLAPPING SO HARD I FLOAT OFF THE GROUND) (FOG HORN)
pants
spigot
#apocalypse-now
#funloving-nonsense
#gay
#heart-of-darkness
#pants-spigot
#sfw
#sfx
#woodring-stairs-background
8,333 1/10/2022 free mars
deuce: TOGETHER pants: FOREVER deuce: UNTIL DEATH DO US PAR [[[TRANSMISSION INTERRUPTED BY MURDER-SUICIDE]]] pants: WISH ME LUCK (PUSHES OWN FACE INTO TOILET, FLUSHES) deuce: (LAST DYING BREATH) FREE MARS.
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#marriage
#mars
#murder
#red-background
#rick-astley
#sfw
#suicide
#toilet
8,334 1/11/2022 larger and larger by the minute
deuce: OKAY THIS BOOSTER CLEARLY ISN'T WORKING BECAUSE MY WANG IS GROWING LARGER AND LARGER BY THE MINUTE pants: I CAN SEE IT FROM SPACE spigot: FIRST JAB I PUFFED UP LIKE A BALLOON CAUSE WE WENT TO A DOUBLE DRIVE-THRU KRISPY KREME IN-N-OUT BURGER AFTER
deuce
pants
spigot
#covid-19
#deuce-pants-spigot
#drive-thru
#fatness
#in-n-out
#krispy-kreme
#mountain-background
#vaccination
#wang
8,335 1/12/2022 sweatpants, t-shirt, cardigan sweater
pants: SWEATPANTS pants: T-SHIRT pants: CARDIGAN SWEATER pants: I AM pants: PROUD TO pants: BE A BED WETTER
pants
#bedwetting
#fashion
#pants-solo
#rhyming
#sfw
#urine
#yellow-background
8,336 1/13/2022 the suggested next word
deuce: IF I TYPE "DICKS" THE SUGGESTED NEXT WORD IS "SELF-SUCKING" WHICH IS WEIRD IN AT LEAST TWO WAYS pants: SHRUG
deuce
pants
#autocomplete
#deuce-pants
#dicks
#stalldoor-background
8,337 1/14/2022 fart fonts
spigot: INTRODUCING FART FONTS spigot: THEY MAKE FART SOUNDS WHEN YOU TYPE THEM MAYBE spigot: INTRODUCING PLUS FARTS spigot: YOU DO A FART BUT YOU CAN ALSO CONFIGURE IT
spigot
#farts
#spigot-solo
#woodring-field-background
8,338 1/15/2022 nog rolled
spigot: U GOT NOG ROLLED spigot: IN THAT YOU DRANK EGG NOG AND ORDERED EGG ROLLS AND NOW YOU'RE ON THE TOILET IN THE DARK
spigot
#food
#ghetto-u
#grey-background
#sfw
#spigot-solo
#toilet
8,339 1/16/2022 magic show
pants: WHAT TIME DOES YOUR PIER 31 MAGIC SHOW START spigot: EVERY 2 HOURS WITH TWO 15MIN BREAKS AND ONE 30MIN BREAK FOR LUNCH spigot: PROBLEM IS THE RESTROOMS ARE 20 MINS AWAY pants: 15 MINUTES IS BARELY ENOUGH TIME TO THROW CINDER BLOCKS AT THE ELEPHANT SEALS spigot: I JUST LEAVE THEM IN THEIR FOOD BOWLS
pants
spigot
#pants-spigot
#sfw
#woodring-stairs-background
8,340 1/17/2022 sissify my tiny caged prick
spigot: SISSIFYMYTINYCAGEDPRICK.COM WOULD LIKE TO SEND YOU NOTIFICATIONS. spigot: IF I'M SUPPOSED TO STAY AWAKE ANY LATER THAN THIS THESE DAYS I NEED A NEW DEALER pants: YOU MEAN LIKE AN ICE CREAM SANDWICH DEALER OR A ROUND TABLE PIZZA DEALER spigot: I GUESS I MEAN MY LOCAL COMIC BOOK DEALER pants: HE’S SAYING WHAT WE’RE ALL THINKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
pants
spigot
#bored-pants
#coy-pants
#pants-spigot
#permission
#pricks
#sissy
#woodring-room-background
8,341 1/18/2022 cookies
pants: WELL MAYBE JUST DON’T VISIT WEBSITES THAT USE COOKIES THEN
pants
#cookies
#mountain-background
#pants-solo
#programming
#sfw
#web
8,342 1/19/2022 kiss me
pants: MY >>HEART<< IS >>FULL<< deuce: HI BOYS pants: KISS ME YOU FOOL deuce: N
deuce
pants
#a-love-story
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#huffy-pants
#kiss
#sfw
#somber-deuce
#urinal-background
#y-n
8,343 1/20/2022 your resume
spigot: A SPECIAL HOLIDAY FART VIDEO FOR MY FANS spigot: NO BUT WE'LL KEEP YOUR RESUME ON FILE
spigot
#farts
#spigot-solo
#urinal-background
8,344 1/21/2022 macsbugth
spigot: BY THE THUMBINGOF MY PRICK spigot: SOMETHING WICKEDLICKS MY DICK spigot: NOTICE HOW I PLAYEDALL THREE DICKLICKERS spigot: (COCKSUCKERS) pants: A POODOTH POKE spigot: SHUT UP
pants
spigot
#bored-pants
#cocksucking
#deuce-pants-spigot
#dicklicking
#lisp
#macsbug
#mock-lisp
#mountain-background
#poo
#prick
#shakespeare
#somber-deuce
8,345 1/22/2022 make your own hours
spigot: YOU CAN MAKE YOUR OWN HOURS pants: MY OFFICE CAN BE MY CAR!!! spigot: KEEP ALL OF YOUR TIPS*
pants
spigot
#antiwork
#pants-spigot
#sfw
#woodring-room-background
8,346 1/23/2022 tamping
spigot: (FLATTENING DIRT PILE WITH SHOVEL) WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES AS PARENTS
spigot
#brown-background
#sfw
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
8,347 1/24/2022 oscar mike
pants: CHOKE ME RIGHT UP UNTIL I’M ABOUT TO JIZZ THEN PUNCH ME IN THE FACE pants: I’M NOT A COMPLICATED MAN deuce: OSCAR MIKE
deuce
pants
#a-love-story
#choking
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#jizz
#oscar-mike
#urinal-background
8,348 1/25/2022 going outside
spigot: GOING OUTSIDE IS FOR FAGS spigot: WHEN WILL NEWS STORIES ABOUT SCHOOL SHOOTINGS EXAMINE HOW MANY VICTIMS REALLY REALLY DESERVED IT spigot: WHO DARES ME TO DO LINES AND BEAT OFF ALL DAY spigot: THEY'LL BE LINES FROM SHAKESPEARE
spigot
#beating-off
#cocaine
#drugs
#mountain-background
#school-shooting
#shakespeare
#spigot-solo
8,349 1/26/2022 shampoo dispenser
spigot: WHERE'S THE SHAMPOO DISPENSSSSSSSSSSSS pants: IT’S STUCK YOU JUST HAVE TO TUG IT pants: HMM MAYBE THE OTHER DIRECTION pants: WAS ANYBODY ON THIS TALKER NOT MOLESTED
pants
spigot
#bored-pants
#despair-panel
#huffy-pants
#molestation
#pants-spigot
#talker
#woodring-stairs-background
8,350 1/27/2022 to the tune of the theme from spider-man (1967)
spigot: TOILET BOWLS spigot: TOILET BOWLS spigot: HELPING YOU MEET spigot: YOUR TOILET GOALS spigot: TAKE A SHIT spigot: ON THE FLOOR spigot: NO ONE KNOWS spigot: WHAT THE BOWLS ARE FOR
spigot
#singing
#spider-man
#spigot-solo
#toilet
#white-background
8,351 1/28/2022 family-sized
spigot: FAMILY-SIZED SQUIRTS IN MY MID-RANGE SEDAN spigot: :LOUDSPEAKER: PANTS FROM BONEQUEST WEARS LADY CLOTHING pants: FLUSTERED, JUMPING TO TRY AND GRAB THE MEGAPHONE AWAY FROM YOU
pants
spigot
#crossdressing
#emoji
#huffy-pants
#pants-spigot
#sfw
#woodring-field-background
8,352 1/29/2022 candy, no candy
pants: SEARCHING MY POCKETS FOR CANDY pants: EMPTY
pants
#bored-pants
#candy
#despair-panel
#mountain-background
#pants-solo
#sfw
8,353 1/30/2022 you bring dishonor
spigot: HAD TO TAKE A HOODIE OFF WHILE HOLDING A DONUT AND LOST A FEW SPRINKLES
spigot
#donut
#pink-background
#sfw
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#tragedy
8,354 1/31/2022 lick dick forever
pants: :sailboat:
pants
spigot
#emoji
#mountain-background
#pants-spigot
#single-panel
8,355 2/1/2022 emotional support groups
spigot: EMOTIONAL SUPPORT GROUPSFOR WHEN THE EMOJISDON'T FACE THEDIRECTION YOU WANT
spigot
#emoji
#mountain-background
#sfw
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
8,356 2/2/2022 wang chung
deuce: ALSO CAN EVERYONE PLEASE *NOT* WANG CHUNG TONIGHT BECAUSE IT'S STARTING TO MAKE A BIT OF A MESS
deuce
#deuce-solo
#sfw
#single-panel
#wang-chung
#woodring-stairs-background
8,357 2/3/2022 jelly newton
spigot: TRY MAKING FIG NEWTONS WITHOUT FIGS AND ADD PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY spigot: YOU STUPID SHITS spigot: MAYBE SLIGHTLY MORE JELLY THAN PEANUT BUTTER deuce: AND THUS, SPIGOT INVENTED THE JELLY NEWTON deuce: DEUCE INSISTED IT BE CALLED THE JELLY LEIBNIZ, BUT SPIGOT VEHEMENTLY DISAGREED. YEARS OF LAWSUITS ENSUED deuce: BOTH DIED OF OLD AGE BEFORE THE CASE WAS SETTLED
deuce
spigot
#brown-background
#cooking
#deuce-spigot
#fig-newtons
#math
#tragedy
8,358 2/4/2022 canvassing the neighborhood
spigot: DONG DONG deuce: (WIPING COUNTERS) I SEEN HIM. HE CAME IN HERE LAST NIGHT WITH SOME DAME effigy: (STACKING CRATES) SHE WAS STEAMED. SHE SAID A FEW TIMES SHE WISHED HE WAS DEAD pants: (CAMERA 2) I CAN'T LET DIARRHEA SLOW ME DOWN
deuce
effigy
pants
spigot
#detective
#deuce-effigy-pants-spigot
#diarrhea
#law-and-order
#sfw
#woodring-stairs-background
8,359 2/5/2022 in the financial district
spigot: ARE YOU TELLING ME THERE'S A :POINT_RIGHT:QUEER:POINT_LEFT: PODCAST spigot: FOLLOW-UP: DO YOU DARE ME TO MAKE A SWASTIKA OUT OF HOT DOGS AND SQUIRT MUSTARD ON PEOPLE IN THE FINANCIAL DISTRICT spigot: THERE'S NO RIGHT OR WRONG [[[RUNS AWAY]]] spigot: ALEXA HIDE MY PHONE pants: GUH FAT deuce: EVERYBODY deuce: PRESENT YOUR FANNYPACKS FOR INSPECTION spigot: :NOTES: BIG THICK DICKS / FROM NOON TO SIX :NOTES: spigot: SERIOUSLY WE CLOSE AT 6PM PDT pants: :DUCK: AFLAC
deuce
pants
spigot
#aflac
#alexa
#deuce-pants-spigot
#dicks
#duck
#emoji
#fannypacks
#funloving-nonsense
#hotdogs
#nazi
#podcast
#singing
#woodring-stairs-background
8,360 2/6/2022 stuff and things
deuce: T PANTS WE SHOULD DO STUFF AND THINGS pants: T DEUCE OH I AGREE, I AGREE deuce: OKAY, PULL YOUR PANTS DOWN, I'LL GET THE SHREDDED LETTUCE
deuce
pants
#ass-tacos
#deuce-pants
#food
#mountain-background
#sfw
8,361 2/7/2022 any way
pants: ANYWAY: DO YOU WANT TO SEE MY COCK deuce: GROSS pants: I DIDN'T HEAR NO
deuce
pants
#cock
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#exhibitionism
#gunmetal-background
#somber-deuce
8,362 2/8/2022 gravitational lensing
deuce: I JUST WON A NOBLE PRIZE [SIC] spigot: MY PENIS LOOKS SMALL BECAUSE OF GRAVITATIONAL LENSING spigot: BUT AS YOU CAN SEE I HAVE FOUR
deuce
spigot
#astronomy
#black-background
#breakfast
#deuce-spigot
#laughing-deuce
#nobel-prize
#penis
#science
#typo
8,363 2/9/2022 non sequiturs
dick: THE DEEP DARK NIGHT OF MY ASS pants: I HATE COLE PORTER deuce: I'M AN ASSET TAG
deuce
dick
pants
#ass
#asset-tag
#cole-porter
#deuce-pants-dick
#single-panel
#woodring-room-background
8,364 2/10/2022 can of soda
spigot: I OPENED THE FRIDGE AND A CAN OF SODA ROLLED OUT AND HIT THE FLOOR AND NOW I KNOW HOW MY PENIS FEELS
#pepsi
#red-background
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
8,365 2/11/2022 and... action
pants: HAVE YOU GOT AN ERECTION, BOY ????? spigot: CUT pants: BOY HAVE ***YOU*** GOT AN ERECTION !!!! spigot: CUT spigot: THE LINE IS: " HAVE YOU A VALEDICTION, BOY-O " pants: HAS THAT BOY GOT AN ERECTION OR ****WHAT*** ??!?! spigot: CUT pants: BOY-O-BOY DO I LIKE BOYS' ERECTIONS spigot: CUT
pants
spigot
#boner
#boys
#coy-pants
#cut
#erections
#gay
#la-confidential
#mountain-background
#outtake
#pants-spigot
8,366 2/12/2022 what the hell am i training for then
pants: I'M STARTING TO THINK THE PISS OLYMPICS ISN'T A REAL THING deuce: IT'S STILL ONLY IN THE PLANNING STAGES pants: WHAT THE HELL AM I TRAINING FOR THEN
#challenge-pissing
#current-events
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#mountain-background
#olympics
#piss
#somber-deuce
8,367 2/13/2022 what the hell is wrong
deuce: JESUS CHRIST WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU HOMOS spigot: EVIDENTLY NOTHING IF YOU READ AND ABSORB THE SCROLLBACK
#chat
#deuce-spigot
#gay
#single-panel
#turquoise-background
8,368 2/14/2022 cold uncaring waters
spigot: 5 MINS TO 4:20 SO I BETTER FINISH MY WINE spigot: T PANTS WILL YOU JOIN ME ON THE STEPS OF THE FERRY BUILDING FOR A BIG OL' BONGHIT pants: I'M NOT FALLING FOR THE OL' "FERRY BUILDING" TRICK AGAIN pants: SPLOOSH!!! THE COLD UNCARING WATERS OF THE BAY
#bay-area
#blue-background
#bonghit
#huffy-pants
#pants-spigot
#physical-comedy
#sfw
#wine
8,369 2/15/2022 for fuck's sake
deuce: FAT FUCK SYNDROME deuce: THAT'S WHAT I GOT
#cocksucking
#deuce-solo
#diagnosis
#fat
#gunmetal-background
#hi-fi
#sad-deuce
#somber-deuce
8,370 2/16/2022 blurklpth sorry
spigot: BLURKLPTH SORRY BLURKLPTH SORRY BLURKLPTH SORRY BLURKLPTH SORRY
#deuce-pants-spigot
#huffy-pants
#sfw
#single-panel
#sorry
#yellow-background
8,371 2/17/2022 decorative
deuce: WE ARE ALL GOD'S CHILDREN deuce: I MEAN EXCEPT EVERYONE HERE pants: BE HARD WITH ME deuce: N pants: BUT WHY THO deuce: I LOST THE ABILITY TO MAINTAIN AN ERECTION pants: AH spigot: WHATEVER'S GOING ON DOWN THERE IS PURELY DECORATIVE
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#erection
#green-background
#somber-deuce
#weird-pants-face
8,372 2/18/2022 wake up you're dreaming
deuce: OKAY OKAY I'M UP I'M UP pants: YOU'RE STILL DREAMING deuce: I DREAMT OF A NEW BONEQUEST HI-FI!!!11 pants: AND YOU WERE REWARDED IN REALITY pants: NOW DREAM ME $10000 FOR COKE AND HOOKERS pants: J/K MORE LIKE $8 FOR COFFEE AND A KOUIGN AMANN deuce: CAN'T YOU USE REAL WORDS pants: :NOTES: I SURE DO LOVE / TO SUCK DICK spigot: SCROLL SCROLL SCROLL LITERALLY PACKED WITH RAISINS PRUNES WALNUTS AND PECANS deuce: THE REQUEST STANDS spigot: D'OUGH deuce: IT'S BRETON FOR "BUTTER CAKE" AND THE _NEW YORK TIMES_ DESCRIBED IT AS "THE FATTEST PASTRY IN ALL OF EUROPE"
#brown-background
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants-spigot
#dream
#drunk-deuce
#fatness
#food
#kouign-amann
#nonstandard-title-panel
#singing
#weird-pants-face
8,373 2/19/2022 the case of the impertinent waiter
pants: I JUST NEED TO KNOW HOW MANY COWBOYS AND WHAT THEY ARE DOING spigot: I'LL HAVE FAG FRIES WITH RAM RANCH pants: ANY SAUCE WITH THAT deuce: HE JUST SAID RAM RANCH YOU IMPERTINENT WAITER pants: SACRE BLEU
#cowboy
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants-spigot
#fag
#french
#jean-charles
#minecraft-background
#ram-ranch
8,374 2/20/2022 presidents
spigot: :POINT_RIGHT::SKIN-TONE-2:PRESIDENT:POINT_LEFT::SKIN-TONE-2: OF THE SAN ANSELMO BEDWETTERS ASSOCIATION deuce: IT'S MORE OF AN HONORARY POSITION, REALLY deuce: WE'RE ALL PRESIDENTS AT THE SABA
#bay-area
#bedwetting
#deuce-spigot
#president
#sfw
#urinal-background
#urine
8,375 2/21/2022 a perfectly good copy
spigot: WITH MY ZOOM LENS I CAN SEE SOMEONE HAS THROWN AWAY A PERFECTLY GOOD COPY OF ANNIE AND THE MAGIC DILDO spigot: I HOPE SHE FINDS WHATEVER IT IS SHE'S LOOKING FOR spigot: THE REAL MAGIC WAS IN HER REAR END THE WHOLE TIME
#ass
#dildo
#literature
#magic
#pink-background
#porn
#spigot-solo
#voyeurism
8,376 2/22/2022 just introduce me
spigot: JUST INTRODUCE ME AS MASTER OF THE MACABRE AND I'LL TAKE IT FROM THERE spigot: CONFETTI BOMB EXPLODES
#grey-background
#sfw
#spigot-solo
8,377 2/23/2022 how to ruin everything
spigot: 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟨⬜🟨⬜🟨⬜⬜⬜⬜🟨 pants: PLEASE SPEAK ENGLISH spigot: NOBODY WILL EVER STOP PLAYING pants: WHAT IF IT COSTS $4.99/MO TO PLAY (EXCLUSIVELY THROUGH PATREON)
#hurgle
#monetization
#pants-spigot
#patreon
#sfw
#white-background
#wordle
8,378 2/24/2022 fresh out
pants: DICKS!!!!!!!!!!!! deuce: WHERE pants: DUNNO pants: WAS HOPING YOU HAD SOME deuce: FRESH OUT
#bored-pants
#deuce-pants
#dicks
#somber-deuce
#woodring-stairs-background
8,379 2/25/2022 maidan
deuce: WHY ARE THE RUSSIANS AND UKRAINIANS FIGHTING OVER MY DONG deuce: SEE THIS JOKE WOULD HAVE BEEN FUNNIER IN 2014
#blue-background
#current-events
#deuce-solo
#dong
#drunk-deuce
#russia
#russian
#sad-deuce
#ukraine
#ukranian
#war
8,380 2/26/2022 urk
spigot: IMAGINE HOW MANY CANADAS AND MEXICOS WE'D HAVE BY NOW IF PUTIN WAS OUR PRESIDENT pants: ONE EXTREMELY POLITE ENCHILADA POR FAVOR spigot: GROSS pants: ONE JAPALENO MAPLE SYRUP KARTOSHKA IF YOU PLEASE spigot: SPEAK :POINT-RIGHT: ENGLISH :POINT-LEFT:
#canada
#current-events
#emoji
#mexicans
#mexico
#mountain-background
#pants-spigot
#putin
#russia
#typo
#ukraine
8,381 2/27/2022 what
spigot: WHAT TOILET CAM
#cam
#camera
#high-res
#sfw
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#toilet
#urinal-background
#voyeurism
#webcam
8,382 2/28/2022 good for consumers
spigot: PUTIN'S PEACEKEEPING TANKS spigot: THESE TWO COUNTRIES SHOULD MERGE ANYWAY SO THERE'S A SINGLE SOURCE OF PROSTITUTES (GOOD FOR CONSUMERS) pants: WHY ARE THEIR FACES WEIRD OR OFF UNCANNY VALLEY-STYLE spigot: WE ARE DEAD INSIDE LIKE ROBOT spigot: THEY PRONOUNCE IT ROBUT spigot: WE HAVE MATTRESS AND CAM
#bored-pants
#camwhores
#cornflower-background
#current-events
#pants-spigot
#ukraine
#webcam
8,383 3/1/2022 apple pay
spigot: THE ROBOT PROSTITUTE HAS CLAMPED MY DONG AND I NEED MORE QUARTERS pants: IT TAKES APPLE PAY (NOT EVEN LOOKING UP FROM DOODLE JUMP)
#apple-pay
#dongs
#doodle-jump
#genital-mutilation
#pants-spigot
#prostitute
#robot
#single-panel
#woodring-stairs-background
8,384 3/2/2022 barocco & butterflies
pants: T SPIGOT HOW MANY TIMES A DAY ON AVERAGE DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT VERSACE SHIRT FROM _THE COUNSELOR_ (FOR ME IT'S ABOUT EVERY 5-10 SECONDS) deuce: GAY
#deuce-pants-spigot
#gay
#single-panel
#versace
#yellow-background
8,385 3/3/2022 for future generations
pants: AN UNKNOWN, UNQUANTIFIABLE AMOUNT OF JACKING OFF deuce: WELL IT'S QUANTIFIABLE BUT IT'S TOO LARGE TO MEASURE PRACTICALLY pants: THEN WE SHOULD SET IT ASIDE FOR FUTURE GENERATIONS WHO MAY HAVE MORE EXACT INSTRUMENTS
#coy-pants
#drunk-deuce
#jacking-off
#science
#somber-deuce
#woodring-field-background
8,386 3/4/2022 better
effigy: UGH, THE WIND SHIFTED AND NOW ALL I SMELL IS COW POO deuce: I SAID I WAS SORRY effigy: APOLOGIES DO NOT END THE SMELL deuce: I SAID I SAID I WAS SORRY effigy: THAT'S BETTER
#apologies
#brown-background
#cows
#deuce-effigy
#pee
#poo
#sfw
8,387 3/5/2022 kilo alpha
spigot: CAN'T SPELL UKRAINE WITHOUT URINE
#current-events
#ham-radio
#joke
#minecraft-background
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#ukraine
#urine
8,388 3/6/2022 just and verdant
pants: FOR GOD AND COUNTRY pants: HALGHAULGHALHLUAG pants: FOR THE QUEEN pants: BGLAUHGLAGHLAGHLUAG pants: FOR A JUST AND VERDANT SOCIETY pants: GHUALGHLAHGLUHALUAG
#cocksucking-noises
#mountain-background
#pants-solo
#queen-elizabeth
8,389 3/7/2022 no thanks
spigot: NO THANKS, I DON'T LIKE TO POO IN MY PANTS. spigot: HURRR SMOOSHED FLAT AND SQUARE INTO THE SIDE OF THE STALL LIKE ONE OF STEVEN SODERBERGH'S VINTAGE LENSES spigot: NINE ERECTIONS REMAINING
#erections
#poo
#spigot-solo
#woodring-stairs-background
8,390 3/8/2022 fudge
pants: MILK MILK spigot: LEMONADE pants: AROUND THE CORNER YOU'LL GET :POINT-RIGHT: :POINT-RIGHT: :POINT-RIGHT: :POINT-RIGHT: LAID :POINT-LEFT::POINT-LEFT::POINT-LEFT: :POINT-LEFT: deuce: GET IN THE SEX TRAFFICKING VAN
#abduction
#bored-pants
#deuce-pants-spigot
#emoji
#mountain-background
#singing
8,391 3/9/2022 dress code
hanford: WE NEED TO DISCUSS THE DRESS CODE HERE AT BONEQUEST deuce: MY BONER IS HAPPY TO SEE YOU hanford: WE NEED TO DISCUSS THE DRESS CODE HERE AT BONEQUEST effigy: WE ARE NO LONGER FRIENDS hanford: WE NEED TO DISCUSS THE DRESS CODE HERE AT BONEQUEST atandt: I WAS MAKING A TOY FOR THE BIRDS hanford: WE NEED TO DISCUSS THE DRESS CODE HERE AT BONEQUEST spigot: LOOKING IN THE FRIDGE FOR PASTRAMI hanford: WE NEED TO DISCUSS THE DRESS COD}}}}}}}}}}}} NO CARRIER pants: WARDIALING FOR DICKS
#atandt-deuce-effigy-hanford-pants-spigot
#birds
#censored
#meta
#mountain-background
#no-carrier
#telephone
#telephony
#wardialing
8,392 3/10/2022 existence annihilated
pants: SO, SO TIRED pants: I'D LIKE A BULLET THROUGH THE CENTER OF MY HEAD PLEASE (I'LL EAT IT HERE) deuce: THAT SEEMS LIKE AN EXTREME REACTION FOR BEING TIRED pants: NO IT'S ABOUT RIGHT pants: +/- ONE EXISTENCE ANNIHILATED deuce: CASUALTIES: 1.0
#bored-pants
#death
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#sad-deuce
#very-very-tired
#violence
#white-background
8,393 3/11/2022 rooting
deuce: MAYBE UKRAINE CAN HOLD THEM OFF INDEFINITELY pants: WORKS FOR ME, WHATEVER'S MORE ENTERTAINING AND DOESN'T PRE-EMPT FOOTBALL pants: NOT MY PRECIOUS XFL OR WHATEVER IT IS pants: THIS YEAR I'M ROOTING FOR THE XML JSONS
#bored-pants
#current-events
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#football
#gay
#json
#pink-background
#programming
#sfw
#somber-deuce
#ukraine
#xfl
#xml
8,394 3/12/2022 shoulder to shoulder (face to face)
spigot: WE SHOULD LAY OUR PENISES SIDE BY SIDE AND CONDUCT AN OSCAR SLUGFEST #OSCARS #STREAMING effigy: ......ARE WE STANDING SHOULDER TO SHOULDER OR FACE TO FACE? pants: CONSIDER SETTING UP SHOP NEAR THE TOILET WITH MUSIC, YOUR LAPTOP, MAGAZINES, OR BOOKS
#colonoscopy
#effigy-pants-spigot
#hashtag
#hurgle
#oscars
#sfw
#toilet
#woodring-room-background
#wordle
8,395 3/13/2022 come on now
spigot: DO TRANS PEOPLE JUST NOT CARE THEY'RE FUCKING UP MACHINE LEARNING
#ai
#mountain-background
#qbert
#sfw
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#trans
#transgender
#ts
8,396 3/14/2022 please be advised
spigot: PLEASE BE ADVISED YOU ALL LICK DICK effigy: K spigot: SOOTHING QUEERSCAPES
#dicklicking
#effigy-spigot
#low-res
#queerscapes
#woodring-room-background
8,397 3/15/2022 g.c.s.
spigot: WELL THAT GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICH spigot: :DARK_SUNGLASSES: spigot: GOT PROVOLOWNED
#cheese
#csi
#emoji
#food
#joke
#sandwich
#sfw
#spigot-solo
#yellow-background
8,398 3/16/2022 the joy
pants: THE JOY OF TYPING NONSENSE AND COMING BACK TO FIND MORE NONSENSE pants: ABSOLUTELY MURDER ME deuce: CONSIDER YOURSELF MURDERED pants: HURRY UP THEN
#deuce-pants
#funloving-nonsense
#huffy-pants
#murder
#white-background
8,399 3/17/2022 remember when
deuce: REMEMBER THE '70S ????? pants: NOPE effigy: NO spigot: HANG YOURSELF
#1970s
#70s
#deuce-effigy-pants-spigot
#nostalgia
#olive-background
#somber-deuce
8,400 3/18/2022 irate pirates
spigot: WE'VE CONTRIBUTED ENOUGH CONTENT TO SOCIETY AND MADE A REAL DIFFERENCE THAT WE NEVER HAVE TO PAY FOR MOVIES AGAIN pants: WE BOUGHT ENOUGH $18.99 CDS FROM TOWER, WE'RE GOOD
#high-res
#mountain-background
#pants-spigot
#piracy
#sfw
#tower-records
8,401 3/19/2022 cyber hugs
pants: ARE DOMAIN NAMES NFTS pants: WHAT ABOUT TWITTER HANDLES deuce: LEAVE ME ALONE pants: ARE YOU HUNG OVER HONEY deuce: N pants: NEED A HUG deuce: YYY pants: HOW ABOUT A CYBER HUG deuce: YN
#a-love-story
#coy-pants
#drunk-deuce
#environmental-harm
#hug
#nft
#twitter
#woodring-stairs-background
#y-n
8,402 3/20/2022 send help
deuce: I ATE TORTILLA CHIPS LAST NIGHT SO I SCRAPED THE ROOF OF MY MOUTH, PLEASE SEND HELP
#afraid-deuce
#deuce-solo
#food
#help
#injury
#mountain-background
#sfw
#single-panel
8,403 3/21/2022 good morning all
spigot: ATHERTON RESIDENT, MASTURBATOR pants: GOD'S BUTTHOLE effigy: WELL GOOD MORNING ALL deuce: IT'S A MIGHTY FINE DAY FOR US TO FIGHT INFLATION deuce: WITH OUR FISTS
#deuce-effigy-pants-spigot
#economics
#inflation
#iris-was-here
#white-background
8,404 3/22/2022 been drinking
deuce: T BONEQUEST I HAVE BEEN DRINKING deuce: T BONEQUEST HELLO deuce: T BONEQUEST WHY DON'T YOU ANSWER ME pants: WHAT A FUCKING PRICK
#bonequest
#deuce-effigy-pants-spigot
#drinking
#orange-background
#poking
#poo
#somber-deuce
8,405 3/23/2022 time in a bottle
spigot: IF I COULD SAVE TIME IN A BOTTLE I WOULD PUT THAT BOTTLE UP MY REAR END AND DO HOUR-LONG FARTS AT THANKSGIVING
#brown-background
#farts
#jim-croce
#spigot-solo
#thanksgiving
8,406 3/24/2022 due to space/time
pants: I CAN'T EVEN SUCK DICK STRAIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! deuce: BECAUSE THE DICKS ARE CURVED??/ pants: DUE TO SPACE/TIME effigy: IT'S ALL RELATIVES deuce: GAY DADS effigy: STEP BROTHERS pants: JUST A ONE TIME THING IN A PARKING LOT deuce: IT'S NOT GAY IF THEY'RE NOT BLOOD RELATED deuce: (FINGER TO EAR) THIS JUST IN, IT SURE IS GAY
#cocksucking
#cosmology
#coy-pants
#deuce-effigy-pants
#dicklicking
#gay
#gay-theory
#gaydads
#grey-background
#incest
#somber-deuce
#this-just-in
8,407 3/25/2022 five guys
deuce: I ORDERED FROM FIVE GUYS AND ALL I GOT WERE THESE FIVE GUYS
#deuce-solo
#food
#gangbang
#gay
#sad-deuce
#sfw
#urinal-background
8,408 3/26/2022 what i say
spigot: YOU KNOW WHAT I SAY TO TRANS HATERS spigot: ***** PUNCH ***** MEN HAVE DICKS DEAL WITH IT
#current-events
#deuce-spigot
#dicks
#mountain-background
#photoshop
#physical-comedy
#sfw
#transgender
#truth
#ukraine
#violence
#violent-disapproval
8,409 3/27/2022 do it for you
pants: FINE, I WILL PERSONALLY BEAT MYSELF OFF deuce: NO ONE WILL DO IT FOR YOU pants: WELL YOU'RE HERE deuce: DO I LOOK LIKE I'M A BEATER OFFER pants: AYUH
#beating-off
#blue-background
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#multiple-backgrounds
#orange-background
#red-background
#somber-deuce
8,410 3/28/2022 who ever
spigot: WHOEVER SAID I LICK DICK WAS REALLY NOT JOKING BLORK BLOP
#dicklicking
#gunmetal-background
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
8,411 3/29/2022 the second law
pants: I FELL ASLEEP WITH MY DICK IN A HOT POCKET ONLY TO WAKE UP TO A LUKEWARM POCKET deuce: YOU HAVE LEARNED A VALUABLE LESSON ABOUT ENTROPY
#black-background
#bored-pants
#deuce-pants
#entropy
#food
#hot-pocket
#physics
#science
#sfw
#somber-deuce
#tragedy
8,412 3/30/2022 only god
pants: ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME pants: (FOR JERKING OFF IN THE LADIES ROOM) spigot: MY ADULT BOOKSTORE DOESN'T OPEN UNTIL 11 pants: MINE IS OPEN 24H BUT I'M BANNED pants: (FOR JERKING OFF IN THE LADIES ROOM) spigot: CAN YOU APPEAL YOUR BAN (JERKING OFF AT THE REGISTER) pants: I ASKED TO JERK OFF ONTO THE MANAGER
#banned
#bored-pants
#jerking-off
#pants-spigot
#porn
#woodring-stairs-background
8,413 3/31/2022 checks out
pants: IF I SUBSTITUTE PISS FOR WATER IN A CAKE RECIPE DOES THAT MAKE IT A PISS CAKE deuce: I THINK YOU'RE BEING VERY CIS HET HERE pants: I'M A CISSY HET TERF WITH A HEART OF BI deuce: SQUINTING deuce: CHECKS OUT :CHECKERED_FLAG:
#angry-panel
#baking
#bi
#cake
#cake-mix
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#emoji
#huffy-pants
#mountain-background
#piss
#somber-deuce
#terf
8,414 4/1/2022 that's just
spigot: DISNEY TO REMOVE COSBY STATUE spigot: WELL THAT'S JUST
#alcohol
#cosby
#disney
#photoshop
#sfw
#spigot-solo
#tragedy
#wine
#woodring-field-background
8,415 4/2/2022 bimbo white bread
effigy: BIMBO WHITE BREAD, FRENCH'S YELLOW MUSTARD, AND TWO **TWO** SLICES OF BALONEY... effigy: I AM A KING
#effigy-solo
#eggshell-background
#food
#sfw
8,416 4/3/2022 not working
spigot: READING A THREAD WHICH PURPORTS TO "MAKE YOU GAY" spigot: WELL LET ME ASSURE YOU IT IS :POINT_RIGHT::SKIN-TONE-2:NOT:POINT_LEFT::SKIN-TONE-2: WORKING spigot: OKAY THAT'S A NICE SCONCE
#emoji
#fixtures
#furniture
#gayness
#sconce
#sfw
#spigot-smiles
#spigot-solo
#woodring-den-background
8,417 4/4/2022 whereupon
pants: WHEREUPON I EAT THE ENTIRE TIN OF ALTOIDS AND VOMIT FOAM FOR 30 MINUTES
#altoids
#green-background
#overdose
#pants-solo
#sfw
#single-panel
#starbucks-background
#vomit
8,418 4/5/2022 break
spigot: BREAK FOR FARTS spigot: BREAK FOR FARTS, BREAK BREAK spigot: BREAK FOR FARTS spigot: BREAK BR PLLLLLBBBB spigot: BREAK FOR SHITS
#brown-background
#farts
#ham-radio
#shit
#spigot-solo
8,419 4/6/2022 file attachments
pants: I HAVE ATTACHED A JPEG OF MY ENTIRE BASKET (DICK AND BALLS COMBO). PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF THEY WOULD BE A GOOD FIT FOR YOU. deuce: AN EASTER PACKAGE, IF YOU WILL
#balls
#blue-background
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#deucegrin
#dick
#easter
#email
#exhibitionism
#package
8,420 4/7/2022 who is this
spigot: NO I DO NOT WANT A JOB IN THE GUANGDONG PROVINCE, WHO IS THIS pants: THE SUICIDE NETS ARE FULL AGAIN
#china
#employment
#pants-spigot
#suicide
#woodring-stairs-background
8,421 4/8/2022 the smallest dab
pants: JUST THE SMALLEST DAB OF URINE BEHIND MY EAR deuce: TRULY EAU DE TOILETTE
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#urinal-background
#urine
8,422 4/9/2022 asking politely
pants: PLEASE SUCK IT deuce: I WILLN'T
#deuce-pants
#dicksucking
#etiquette
#mountain-background
#politeness
#single-panel
8,423 4/10/2022 ambiguous target
pants: RUB IT deuce: RAISE UNCLEARREFERENTERROR ('AMBIGUOUS TARGET') pants: OK STOP RUBBING IT HURTS
#deuce-pants
#deucegrin
#drunk-deuce
#error
#frottage
#masturbation
#programming
#woodring-room-background
8,424 4/11/2022 trick question
pants: JUST TOOK A HUGE SHIT AND I FEEL BETTER NOW pants: ASK ME ANYTHING spigot: WOULD YOU LIKE MORE PANCAKES pants: THAT SOUNDS LIKE A TRICK QUESTION
#ama
#pancakes
#pants-spigot
#shit
#woodring-field-background
8,425 4/12/2022 think twice
spigot: CORONAVIRUS HAS MADE US ALL THINK TWICE ABOUT LICKING TOILET SEATS IN AN AIRPORT BATHROOM
#coronavirus
#covid-19
#current-events
#hygiene
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#toilet
#urinal-background
8,426 4/13/2022 panic/ jerkoff
spigot: DO I WANT A JERKOFF ROOM IN MY PANIC ROOM OR A PANIC ROOM IN MY JERKOFF ROOM deuce: IT'S PANIC/JERKOFF ROOMS ALL THE WAY DOWN pants: BOTH??? deuce: THEY ALTERNATE, IDIOT
#deuce-pants-spigot
#jerking-off
#mousehole
#panic
#woodring-room-background
8,427 4/14/2022 the spice
deuce: IF I COULD BE ANY KIND OF SPICE I'D BE CARDIMUM deuce: BECAUSE THEN I'D FINALLY SHUT THE FUCK UP deuce: GET IT BECAUSE "MUM" MEANS TO SHUT THE FUCK UP deuce: TURNS OUT I'LL NEVER SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!
#bored-pants
#cardamom
#deuce-effigy-ozone-pants-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#eggshell-background
#fucking-shut-up
#typo
8,428 4/15/2022 how the hamburglar got his name
deuce: I JUST REALIZED HOW THE HAMBURGLAR GOT HIS NAME deuce: HE BURGLES HAMS
#catsup-background
#deuce-solo
#etymology
#ketchup
#ketchup-background
#mcdonalds
#multiple-backgrounds
#mustard
#mustard-background
#nomenclature
#sfw
8,429 4/16/2022 have fun
spigot: HAVE FUN BEATING OFF WHILE FREE SPEECH IS UNDER ATTACK
#beating-off
#first-amendment
#free-speech
#mountain-background
#politics
#sfw
#spigot-solo
8,430 4/17/2022 knock knock
pants: KNOCK KNOCK HI I NEED TO RESET YOUR TOILET CAM IT'S ON THE FRITZ JUST LET ME GET BY HERE THANKS
#deuce-pants-spigot
#single-panel
#spycam
#urinal-background
#voyeurism
8,431 4/18/2022 that's all you can hear
spigot: IN SPACE NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU LICK DICK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: :SATELLITE: :SATELLITE_ANTENNA: ACTUALLY I'M RECEIVING REPORTS THAT'S ALL YOU CAN HEAR spigot: THE BACKGROUND RADIATION IS 100% DICKLICKING SOUNDS
#black-background
#dicklicking
#emoji
#science
#space
#spigot-solo
8,432 4/19/2022 upcoming vibe switch
pants: ARE YOU GUYS READY FOR THE UPCOMING VIBE SWITCH deuce: THE WHAT pants: I'M HOPING FOR A RETURN TO COTTAGECORE OR MAYBE EVEN NEW BALANCE SHOES pants: WE MISSED WHITE BOY SUMMER DIDN'T WE pants: YEAH, WE DID
#deuce-pants
#lime-background
#new-balance
#sfw
#vibe-switch
#white-boy-summer
8,433 4/20/2022 iron golems
effigy: [TURNING OFF TV] effigy: ......SHOOTING IRON GOLEMS FROM MY PORCH
#effigy-solo
#minecraft
#minecraft-background
#sfw
8,434 4/21/2022 the library vis-a-vis the champagne room
pants: T DEUCE WE NEED ANOTHER BIG FLOOD OR SOMETHING pants: NO BEATING OFF IN THE LIBRARY deuce: BUT THERE'S _SOME_ SEX IN THE CHAMPAGNE ROOM
#angry-panel
#beating-off
#champagne
#champagne-background
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#huffy-pants
#library
#sex
8,435 4/22/2022 big dumb
pants: I AM ALL THE BIG DUMB ENERGY YOU NEED
#energy
#pants-solo
#sfw
#single-panel
#starbucks-background
8,436 4/23/2022 on lasagna
deuce: LASAGNA IS SO FUCKING GOOD pants: SUCKING THINGS deuce: MMM LASAGNA
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#food
#lasagna
#sucking
#woodring-stairs-background
8,437 4/24/2022 every body
pants: EVERYBODY HOLD HANDS AND DRINK AS MUCH AS YOU CAN AND WALK INTO THE SEA UNTIL YOU GET TIRED
#blue-background
#pants-solo
#single-panel
#suicide
8,438 4/25/2022 boner plex
spigot: SERVING SIZE 1 COOKIE spigot: SADDER THAN BABY SHOES NEVER WORN pants: IS THE BONERPLEX A REAL PLACE OR DID I JUST DREAM IT
#bonerplex
#cookies
#coy-pants
#ernest-hemingway
#pants-spigot
#woodring-room-background
8,439 4/26/2022 ever see
deuce: T SPIGOT DO YOU THINK WE'LL EVER SEE A TWINS III: THE NEW HATCH
#deuce-spigot
#sfw
#swamp-background
8,440 4/27/2022 visible from space
spigot: MY DONG IS VISIBLE FROM SPACE spigot: THE SPACE RIGHT THERE ON YOUR FACE spigot: WELL THEN PUT ON YOUR PRESCRIPTION READING GLASSES spigot: MINE ARE FROM A GAS STATION
#dong
#gas-station
#glasses
#gunmetal-background
#spigot-solo
8,441 4/28/2022 pow
spigot: WHERE'S THE SUPERCUT OF RALPH KRAMDEN ACTUALLY HITTING HIS WIFE pants: HE LOVED HER SO MUCH BUT NOW SHE'S ON THE MOON (SOBBING)
#domestic-violence
#honeymooners
#pants-spigot
#television
#white-background
8,442 4/29/2022 supply chain
spigot: BLOP SPLOP LITERALLY NO SUPPLY CHAIN DISRUPTION HERE BAGURK BAGOLP
#grey-background
#spigot-solo
#wieners
8,443 4/30/2022 n
pants: WHERE _N_ IS THE NUMBER OF HARD PLASTIC DICKS IN MY MOUTH
#dildo
#math
#pants-solo
#single-panel
#urinal-background
#variable
8,444 5/1/2022 who knew
spigot: WHO KNEW DUTCH CRUNCH WOULD LEAVE SO MANY CRUMBS IN THE BED
#food
#high-res
#mess
#sfw
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#woodring-field-background
8,445 5/2/2022 hallowed be thy name
deuce: OUR FATHER, WHO ART IN HEAVEN / HALLOWED BE THY NAME / AND PLEASE GET YOUR FINGER / OUT OF MY BUTT
#anal-insertion
#deuce-solo
#prayer
#religion
#single-panel
#woodring-stairs-background
8,446 5/3/2022 chess king
spigot: HOW'S MY BEIGE WINDBREAKER spigot: DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M HUSTLING STARS AT A BUS STATION spigot: I'M ZIPPING IT UP TO HERE AND THAT'S FINAL effigy: SIR, THIS JACKET IS FOR `MEMBERS ONLY` spigot: IF I PUSH ALL 4 ROOKS UP MY REAR END I'LL BE CHESS KING
#anal-insertion
#chess
#effigy-spigot
#fashion
#members-only
#sir
#woodring-stairs-background
8,447 5/4/2022 hard mode
spigot: :POINT_RIGHT::SKIN-TONE-2: HARD :POINT_LEFT::SKIN-TONE-2: MODE :EGGPLANT: :STRAIGHT_RULER::EGGPLANT: :STRAIGHT_RULER::EGGPLANT: :STRAIGHT_RULER::EGGPLANT: :STRAIGHT_RULER::EGGPLANT: :STRAIGHT_RULER: spigot: SOMEDAY I MIGHT EVEN UNPAUSE THE BATMAN FROM WHERE IT LAY PARKED MID NIRVANA SONG spigot: OUR FINEST PISSCOATS THIS EASTER
#batman
#hard
#nirvana
#pisscoats
#spigot-solo
#woodring-room-background
8,448 5/5/2022 but why tho
pants: WHY IS EVERYTHING SO deuce: DOWN IN FRONT
#deuce-pants
#down-in-front
#mousehole
#sfw
#woodring-room-background
8,449 5/6/2022 knock knock knock
spigot: WHAT MISSING JUVENILES spigot: I MEAN COME IN !! spigot: I MEAN DON'T COME IN, SORRY
#deuce-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#kidnapping
#mousehole
#rape
#sfw
#woodring-room-background
8,450 5/7/2022 itunes gift cards
spigot: NNNNNGGG I'VE BEEN HACK A DOODLE DOO'D pants: YOUR DUMB GAY FRIENDS ARE HERE FOR YOU pants: WE CAN SEND $$ VIA ITUNES GIFT CARDS pants: DO YOU NEED MY SOCIAL SECURITY # deuce: SHOULD I SHOOT MYSELF IN THE HEAD TO HELP YOU RECOVER YOUR ACCOUNT pants: I THINK WE HAVE TO ASSUME THAT WE ARE DEALING WITH A RUSSIAN AGENT RATHER THAN OUR FRIEND SPIGOT (THE BEAR) deuce: YOU'RE RIGHT (SENDING HIM DICK PIX) pants: :FOOT: :DROOLING_FACE:
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants-spigot
#dick
#dick-pics
#drunk-deuce
#emoji
#feet
#foot-appetite
#friends
#gay
#hacking
#itunes
#mountain-background
#nuggh
#russia
#spigot-the-bear
#suicide
8,451 5/8/2022 covid test negative
pants: COVID TEST NEGATIVE pants: WE CAN SAFELY RESUME SPITTING IN EACH OTHER'S MOUTHS deuce: DID YOU TAKE IT CORRECTLY (RECTALLY) pants: I DON'T SEE WHY IT HAS TO STAY UP THERE SO LONG deuce: AND ALSO IT HAS TO BE REPEATEDLY INSERTED IN AND PULLED OUT pants: ONLY AFTER THE 4TH HOUR
#anal-insertion
#angry-panel
#covid-19
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#huffy-pants
#laughing-deuce
#violetgrey-background
8,452 5/9/2022 today let's be grateful
spigot: TODAY LET'S BE GRATEFUL WE DON'T HAVE TO SUCK DICK IN A MULTIVERSE OF MADNESS pants: "HAVE TO" pants: FULL-GROWN ADULTS CELEBRATING STAR WARS DAY spigot: WE CALL HIM DOCTOR MORBIUS ON THIS PODCAST
#dr-strange
#marvel
#mint-background
#movies
#pants-spigot
#podcast
#star-wars
8,453 5/10/2022 roe v. wade
spigot: MORE LIKE BLOW V. LAID
#abortion
#current-events
#emoji
#gunmetal-background
#joke
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
8,454 5/11/2022 outside lands
spigot: HORDES OF YOUNG PEOPLE BUZZING AROUND THE FESTIVAL, FILLING OUT MORTGAGE LOANS, PREPARING THEIR TAXES spigot: TRANSPARENT PINK SUNGLASSES WITH PEARLS, MASSIVE BEJEWELED NECKLACES AND CAPS, LIME GREEN BELL-BOTTOMS AND SENSIBLE ORTHOPEDIC LOAFERS FROM ROSS DRESS FOR LESS spigot: PULLING THE VIBE OUT OF MY MOUTH AND """SHIFTING""" IT TO MY REAR END
#green-background
#spigot-solo
8,455 5/12/2022 red pilled
pants: THERE IS NO RED PILL YOU'RE JUST A HUGE HUGE ASSHOLE
#blue-background
#matrix
#pants-solo
#politics
#single-panel
8,456 5/13/2022 oral-b
deuce: THIS MEXICAN COOKING YOUTUBE LADY SURE USES A LOT OF SALT pants: HOW'S SHE DOIN' deuce: SHE DYED HER HAIR BLACK FOR SOME REASON BUT LET THE GREY GROW BACK IN AGAIN deuce: I SOMETIMES WORRY SHE'S GOING TO CUT HERSELF BUT SHE NEVER DOES deuce: I MEAN I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT pants: (DEEP VOICE) ORAL-B
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#food
#mexican-cooking-lady
#mexicans
#mosaic-background
#oral-b
#photo-background
#salt
#sfw
#somber-deuce
#toothbrush
#youtube
8,457 5/14/2022 sure do love
pants: I SURE DO LOVE TO SOAP UP MY GENITALS deuce: WHO DOESN'T deuce: (LIKE SOAPING UP YOUR GENITALS)
#deuce-pants
#hygiene
#pink-background
#soap
8,458 5/15/2022 unsubscribe
pants: I'M A BEAUTIFUL BUTTERFLY pants: JACK ME OFF deuce: UNSUBSCRIBE
#blue-background
#butterfly
#cornflower-background
#deuce-pants
#jacking-off
#mailing-list
8,459 5/16/2022 dow tumbles
pants: EVERY TIME I SEE THE PHRASE “DOW TUMBLES” I THINK “UPSKIRT”
#current-events
#pants-solo
#stocks
#upskirt
#voyeurism
#woodring-stairs-background
8,460 5/17/2022 sex
deuce: SEX pants: YOU HAVE MY ATTENTION!!!!!!!!! pants: AND NOW YOU DON'T (I SPOTTED A MOTH)
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#insect
#moth
#mountain-background
#sex
8,461 5/18/2022 urgent
spigot: NOTHING IS SO 'URGENT' I NEED TO HEAR ABOUT IT spigot: CAN COPS GET DNA FROM POO ON A VICTIM'S FACE
#gunmetal-background
#police
#poo
#spigot-solo
8,462 5/19/2022 under- rated
spigot: COCKSUCKING IN THE *** METAVERSE *** pants: DO I HAVE TO CHANGE OUT OF MY SWEATS FOR THIS spigot: UNDER-RATED :POINT_RIGHT::SKIN-TONE-2:SHITPOST:POINT_LEFT::SKIN-TONE-2: ALERT pants: THIS IS WHAT THE DEVIL DOES :ROOSTER: spigot: THINKING DARK MATTER IS JUST COMMON HOUSEHOLD DOGSHIT pants: CAPITAL FARTS, MADAM
#cocksucking
#dogshit
#emoji
#farts
#metaverse
#mountain-background
#pants-spigot
#thrill-kill-kult
8,463 5/20/2022 two truths
spigot: TWO TRUTHS AND A DICK IN YOUR MOUTH spigot: FREE TROOFS
#blue-background
#despair-panel
#dicks
#mouth
#spigot-solo
8,464 5/21/2022 tupper ware
spigot: PUTTING POO IN THE TUPPERWARE deuce: THAT'S WHAT I USE TO FREEZE MY SQUIGGLIES
#deuce-spigot
#mousehole
#poo
#tupperware
#woodring-room-background
8,465 5/22/2022 rise up
deuce: OUR PEOPLE WILL RISE UP AGAINST THE INVADERS AND OFFER THEM CUPCAKES effigy: MMMMM deuce: ALL WARS END WITH THE EXCHANGE OF CUPCAKES (IT'S PART OF THE IDEA OF WESTPHALIAN SOVEREIGNTY) effigy: MMMM SOVEREIGNTY
#cupcakes
#deuce-effigy
#mountain-background
#politics
#sfw
#treaty-of-westphalia
#war
8,466 5/23/2022 leaving early
spigot: LEAVING AT 2PM TODAY!!! spigot: AVAILABLE ALL THE USUAL WAYS spigot: STALL 1, STALL 2, STALL 3 spigot: PING IF NEEDED spigot: (OR JUST TAP)
#gay
#spigot-solo
#stalls
#tap
#woodring-room-background
#work
8,467 5/24/2022 where wallace at
pants: WHERE'S WALLACE AT pants: WHERE'S THE BOY, STRING pants: WHERE'S WALLACE AT pants: WHERE THE FUCK IS WALLACE pants: WHERE'S WALLACE, STRING pants: STRING pants: WHERE THE FUCK IS WALLACE pants: AND WHERE'S GROMIT
#aardman-animation
#gunmetal-background
#pants-solo
#the-wire
#wallace-and-gromit
8,468 5/25/2022 seed bread
spigot: HAS AMERICA LEARNED :POINT-RIGHT: :POINT-RIGHT: ANYTHING :POINT-LEFT: :POINT-LEFT: ABOUT FORCING KIDS TO GO TO SCHOOL ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? spigot: WHY CAN'T THERE BE MORE SHOOTINGS AT WHOLE FOODS spigot: I HATE THAT PLACE
#bread
#current-events
#emoji
#nuts
#school
#seed
#shooting
#spigot-solo
#whole-foods
#woodring-den-background
8,469 5/26/2022 corporate consumer consumption culture
spigot: "DON'T LOAD UP ON BREAD" :POINT_LEFT::SKIN-TONE-2: NICE """ADVICE"""" spigot: MAYBE I DON'T WANT TO LOAD UP ON CORPORATE CONSUMER CONSUMPTION CULTURE pants: BUT IT'S DELICIOUS
#bread
#emoji
#mountain-background
#pants-spigot
#sfw
8,470 5/27/2022 going to the bathroom
spigot: DOES GOING TO THE BATHROOM COUNT AS EXERCISE
#bathroom
#exercise
#sfw
#spigot-solo
#urinal-background
8,471 5/28/2022 actor modifiers demo
pants: AND NOW I MUST TURN MY BACK ON YOU deuce: BROWN pants: TALKING OUT OF MY ASSHOLE
#blue-background
#deuce-pants
#goodfellas
#meta
#upside-down
8,472 5/29/2022 plllpppp
spigot: MY LORD THY PANTS ARE TRULY POO WORTHY spigot: I WILL JOIN THEE IN FACT: PLLLPPPP spigot: EVERYONE: PLLPLPPLP
#brown-background
#poo
#prayer
#religion
#spigot-solo
8,473 5/30/2022 iceberg lettuce
effigy: I 💚 ICEBERG LETTUCE. IT IS THE BEST LETTUCE deuce: TOTES AGREE deuce: MANY OTHER LETTUCES ARE TOLERABLE BUT THAT IS THE BEST deuce: THEN AGAIN WE'RE IN CALIFORNIA effigy: EVERYTHING ELSE IS JUST BITTER LEAVES effigy: ICEBERG BRINGS SOME MOISTURE effigy: TO THE PARTY
#california
#deuce-effigy
#drunk-deuce
#emoji
#food
#green-background
#sfw
8,474 5/31/2022 a persistent recruiter
deuce: YOU KNOW WHAT'S WORSE THAN A PERSISTENT RECRUITER??? A PERSISTENT RECRUITER WHO THINKS HE'S A COMEDIAN
#blue-background
#military
#sfw
#wut
8,475 6/1/2022 this superior court
spigot: THIS SUPERIOR COURT OF LOS ANGELES IN THE ABOVE ENTITLED ACTION DOES HEREBY SENTENCE YOU TO RAY DONOVAN: THE MOVIE
#court
#eggshell-background
#law
#los-angeles
#netflix
#ray-donovan
#spigot-solo
8,476 6/2/2022 plump
pants: I PROMISE THAT IF YOU COOK ME I WILL PLUMP
#cooking
#deuce-pants-spigot
#plump
#sfw
#single-panel
#white-background
8,477 6/3/2022 saaadaas
spigot: SAAADAAS: SPOOKY ACTION AT A DISTANCE AS A SERVICE
#acronym
#cloud
#gunmetal-background
#quantum-entanglement
#scary
#science
#sfw
#spigot-solo
8,478 6/4/2022 desert
deuce: NOTHING A HIGH-YIELD THERMONUCLEAR EXPLOSION CAN'T CURE pants: BACK TO BEING A DESERT spigot: ARE YOU SAYING I CAN ORDER 2 LARGE DEEP DISH PIZZAS
#brown-background
#deuce-pants-spigot
#food
#nuclear-weapons
#pizza
#sfw
8,479 6/5/2022 because why not
deuce: AN ALTERNATE TIMELINE WHERE PANTS IS BLIND AND I'M DEAF AND WE LIVE TOGETHER AND JUST JERK EACH OTHER OFF BECAUSE WHY NOT pants: AS A TRANS PERSON OF COLOR,
#deuce-pants
#jerking-off
#movies
#poc
#single-panel
#trans
#transgender
#ts
#urinal-background
8,480 6/6/2022 feynman's reverse sprinkler
spigot: FEYNMAN'S REVERSE SPRINKLER IS JUST TWO FAGS BLOWING EACH OTHER UNDERWATER deuce: I GET THAT REFERENCE!!!!!!
#deuce-spigot
#feynman
#mountain-background
#physics
8,481 6/7/2022 one wrong way
spigot: OW OW OKAY ONE WRONG WAY TO EAT A REESE'S deuce: I SURE KNOW WHAT YOU'D DO FOR A KLONDIKE BAR
#deuce-spigot
#food
#pain
#reeses-background
#sfw
#single-panel
8,482 6/8/2022 optical illusion
spigot: STARE AT THE DOT IN THE CENTER OF THIS OPTICAL ILLUSION FOR 45 MINUTES AND EVENTUALLY THERE'S A 15 SECOND AD
#primrose-background
#red-backgrond
#sfw
#spigot-solo
8,483 6/9/2022 who can say
pants: IT'S THE YEAR OF THE LINUX DESKTOP AGAIN!!!!!! pants: MAYBE THIS ONE: [LINK TO A DICK PIC, POSSIBLY MY OWN, WHO CAN SAY] deuce: (SQUINTING) THAT'S A BLACK DICK pants: WHO CAN SAY deuce: INVESTIGATION RESULTS: INCONCLUSIVE deuce: I TYPE THINGS AND THEN YOU TYPE THINGS AND THEN THE PATTERN REPEATS pants: FOREVER MORE
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#dick-pics
#drunk-deuce
#linux
#somber-deuce
#weird-pants-face
#woodring-stairs-background
8,484 6/10/2022 breaking
deuce: BREAKING: MANGO TASTES LIKE SHIT
#alt-text
#brave
#deuce-solo
#food
#mango
#mango-background
#truth-to-power
8,485 6/11/2022 sufficiently advanced technology
spigot: ANY SUFFICIENTLY ADVANCED TECHNOLOGY IS INDISTINGUISHABLE FROM COCKSUCKING
#clarkes-law
#cocksucking
#spigot-solo
#urinal-background
8,486 6/12/2022 alcohol and booze
deuce: I FEEL LIKE SHIT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN pants: ARE YOU GETTING ENOUGH ALCOHOL AND BOOZE deuce: JUST THE RIGHT AMOUNT
#alcoholism
#deuce-pants
#eggshell-background
#health
8,487 6/13/2022 i wish
deuce: I WISH EVERYONE WHO WASN'T LIKE ME WOULD JUST LEARN THEIR PLACE AND STOP TALKING
#deuce-solo
#mountain-background
#sfw
#shut-up
#somber-deuce
8,488 6/14/2022 yankee doodle dandy
deuce: :NOTES: I'M A YANKEE DOODLE DANDY / POUND ME RIGHT IN MY TWO CHEEKS spigot: TWO M WORDS (ME, MY) HARDER TO SING, SUGGEST POUND ME RIGHT BETWEEN THE CHEEKS deuce: YOU JUST DON'T WANT IT ENOUGH
#deuce-spigot
#deucegrin
#emoji
#songwriting
#urinal-background
8,489 6/15/2022 speed run
pants: SPEEDRUNNING BETWEEN ALL THE COCKS
#cocks
#cocksucking
#mountain-background
#pants-solo
#single-panel
#tool-assisted
8,490 6/16/2022 those two decades
spigot: SAYS HERE YOU WORKED AT RATEMYPOO FROM 2000-2019, TELL ME ABOUT THOSE TWO DECADES NOPE HE'S GONE, NEXT
#job-interview
#poo
#ratemypoo
#sfw
#spigot-solo
#urinal-background
8,491 6/17/2022 lacroix flavors
spigot: TIRED OF DUMB LAZY MOMS GETTING THE WRONG LACROIX spigot: KEY LIME, NOT LIME. LIMONCELLO, NOT LEMON. NOT HARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: THERE'S A FLAVOR CALLED PEACH PEAR WHICH I'M NOT LETTING INTO MY HOME spigot: :PEACH: :PEAR: I SAY PICK A BODY TYPE AND STICK WITH IT!!! pants: QUICK WHICH IS MORE DISGUSTING: COCONUT OR BEACH PLUM spigot: BEACH PLUM IS ACTUALLY ONE OF THE BEST pants: REALLY deuce: GET OUT pants: IS THERE A BUTTMAN FLAVOR spigot: COLA LACROIX ACTUALLY TASTES LIKE A RUM AND COLA, AS I IGNORE THAT COMMENT spigot: YOU WANT KEY LIME CAUSE IT HAS A MARSHMALLOW KICK LIKE A KEY LIME PIE spigot: THEY KNOW HOW TO USE THEIR CHEMICALS THEY JUST NAME FLAVORS WRONG
#buttman
#deuce-pants-spigot
#key-lime-background
#lacroix
#product-placement
#weird-pants-face
8,492 6/18/2022 jerkhov
spigot: IF YOU SEE A PENIS IN ACT ONE spigot: THERE BETTER BE A PENIS IN ACTS 2 AND 3 spigot: AND I WANT EXTRA PENISES AFTER THE CREDITS spigot: ACTUALLY WHY ARE WE BOTHERING WITH THE WHOLE PRODUCTION
#angry-panel
#chekhov
#penis
#spigot-solo
#woodring-stairs-background
8,493 6/19/2022 49ers playoffs
pants: I AM WATCHING THE BIRTH OF THE UNIVERSE, THE DEATH OF OUR SUN AND SPORTS pants: I SEE EVENTS SO TINY AND SO QUICK THAT THEY CAN SCARCELY BE DESCRIBED AS HAVING EXISTED AND ALSO SPORTS pants: MAKING MY OWN LIFE IN A DISTANT GALAXY SO I MAY OBSERVE MICROBES EVOLVE INTO HIGHER LIFE FORMS TO HAVE 11 PLAYERS ON THE FIELD AT ONCE pants: WATCHING THE POCKET COLLAPSE AS THE QUARTERBACK IS SACKED pants: POUNDED INTO THE GROUND deuce: YOU ARE DOING FINE SIR
#49ers
#deuce-pants
#football
#mountain-background
#sfw
#sports
#watchmen
8,494 6/20/2022 am i
spigot: AM I A TOP spigot: SORRY WRONG WIN spigot: THEN TAKE ME FOR A SPIN!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: WRONG WIN
#chat
#spigot-solo
#woodring-stairs-background
#wrong-window
8,495 6/21/2022 full of lunch
pants: T DEUCE I'M FULL OF LUNCH deuce: I AM BEREFT OF BALLS deuce: WITH A DISTINCT DEARTH OF DICK
#balls
#deuce-pants
#dick
#food
#woodring-field-background
8,496 6/22/2022 doo dah^2
spigot: SHITTING THROUGH MY AERON CHAIR
#aeron
#camptown-races
#mountain-background
#shit
#spigot-solo
8,497 6/23/2022 900
pants: 900 DICKS deuce: LET'S CALL IT AN EVEN 1000 TO ACCOUNT FOR SPILLAGE
#accounting
#deuce-pants
#dicks
#purple-background
8,498 6/24/2022 a log cabin
spigot: LARPING AS A RAPIST spigot: IF ABRAHAM LINCOLN WERE ALIVE TODAY HE COULD MAKE A LOG CABIN OUT OF TWIX spigot: AND KEEP VICODINS IN HIS HAT
#abraham-lincoln
#candy
#drugs
#hat
#larp
#lemon-background
#rape
#spigot-solo
#vicodin
8,499 6/25/2022 club pants
effigy: CAN WE NOW FORM A LEGITIMATE CLUB pants: THE FANNYPACKERS pants: THE FUDGE-ENJOYERS pants: THE FOGGY DAY-O-PHILES pants: THE CAT PETTERS pants: THE LOLLYGAGGERS pants: THE GOLDBRICKERS pants: WE WHO SALUTE THE FLAG BUT DON'T STAND pants: DOING A SHITTY JOB AND GOING HOME EARLY pants: MAKING ARRANGEMENTS FOR MOTHER pants: WE WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU
#effigy-pants
#funloving-nonsense
#gunmetal-background
8,500 6/26/2022 starfleet material
deuce: T PANTS HAVE YOU DECIDED WHETHER YOU'RE GOING TO APPLY FOR STARFLEET ACADEMY pants: DO YOU THINK I'M STARFLEET MATERIAL deuce: JUST REMEMBER THERE'S A LOT OF DILDOES YOU'LL HAVE TO POLISH BEFORE YOU MAKE LIEUTENANT
#deuce-pants
#dildo
#dildo-polishing-academy
#space-blue-background
#star-trek
8,501 6/27/2022 spirit guide
deuce: I'M YOUR SPIRIT GUIDE deuce: HOWEVER I'M REALLY SHIT AT IT deuce: I JUST TELL YOU TO SET FIRES AND PUNCH COPS
#acab
#deuce-effigy-pants-spigot
#incompetence
#spirit-guide
#violence
#woodring-stairs-background
8,502 6/28/2022 caps lock
effigy: I LOVE PENIS effigy: ALSO, CAPS LOCK IS ON.
#caps-lock
#deuce-effigy-pants
#drunk-deuce
#mountain-background
#penis
8,503 6/29/2022 fight the powers that be
pants: FIGHT THE POWER (BLOWJOB NOISES) pants: SEAL MY ASSHOLE WITH TAR, MUCK pants: FATHER I CRAVE POO
#ass
#asshole
#blowjob
#funloving-nonsense
#muck
#pants-solo
#poo
#public-enemy
#starbucks-background
#tar
8,504 6/30/2022 how are ya fixed
spigot: HOW / ARE YA FIXED / FOR :POINT_RIGHT::SKIN-TONE-2: FARTS :POINT_LEFT::SKIN-TONE-2: spigot: THE WITNESS MAY ANSWER
#angry-panel
#brown-background
#court
#emoji
#farts
#singing
#spigot-solo
8,505 7/1/2022 on things
pants: PUNCH THINGS pants: NO, WAIT: pants: SUCK THINGS
#cocksucking
#grey-background
#pants-solo
#violence
8,506 7/2/2022 the 6am shitsquirts
deuce: I HAD THE 6 AM SHITSQUIRTS pants: NOTHING LIKE SITTING ON THE TOILET, HALF-AWAKE
#brown-background
#deuce-pants
#diarrhea
#shit
#single-panel
8,507 7/3/2022 given the boot
deuce: OKAY THE LEAGUE OF NATIONS JUST KICKED ME OUT
#deuce-solo
#diplomacy
#mountain-background
#sfw
8,508 7/4/2022 a horrible inhospitable place
pants: THE WEB IS A HORRIBLE INHOSPITABLE PLACE deuce: IT IS pants: WHY DIDN'T WE STOP AT GOPHER
#adult-gay-male
#corndog-background
#deuce-pants
#gopher
#internet
#sfw
#vintage-internet
#web
8,509 7/5/2022 royal
pants: QQ: WHO PUT `ROYAL BEATOFF SESSION` ON MY CALENDAR AND ALSO WHAT DOES THAT MEAN deuce: I THOUGHT YOU NEEDED A BREAK pants: THAT IS VERY THOUGHTFUL OF YOU
#beatoff
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#quick-question
#royal
#series
#somber-deuce
#woodring-stairs-background
8,510 7/6/2022 king royal
pants: `KING ROYAL BEATOFF SESSION` pants: WHAT DOES THAT EVEN
#beating-off
#beatoff
#bored-pants
#mousehole
#pants-solo
#royal
#series
#woodring-room-background
8,511 7/7/2022 so heavy
spigot: WHY ARE FORKS SO HEAVY OH RIGHT I'M OLD spigot: WHO PRINTS THIS SHIT SO SMALL OH RIGHT I'M DYING spigot: SOMEONE SHOULD MAKE THE FLOOR NOT ON MY FACE ALL THE TIME OKAY I GET IT
#aging
#death
#edited
#mountain-background
#old
#spigot-solo
8,512 7/8/2022 what if i told you
spigot: WILL YOU LICK MY DICK spigot: WHAT IF I TOLD YOU THERE WERE NO HIDDEN FEES
#dicklicking
#microtransactions
#mountain-background
#spigot-solo
8,513 7/9/2022 style and branding guidelines
spigot: FROM NOW ON IF YOU PUT SPIGOT IN A STRIP AND IT GETS SHIT NUMBERS I'M EMPTYING THE CATBOX ON YOUR KEYBOARD spigot: MAYBE YOU IDIOTS NEED A 3-DAY TEAM OFFSITE TO REVIEW STYLE AND BRANDING GUIDELINES AND I'LL ASSIGN SOME STRETCH GOALS spigot: OKAY YOU'RE LITERALLY CARDBOARD CUTOUTS
#catbox
#deuce-pants-spigot
#illusion
#marketing
#meta
#woodring-stairs-background
8,514 7/10/2022 the days of our lives
deuce: SHUT YOUR WORD FACE pants: THE WORDS, THEY TUMBLE OUT deuce: YOUR FACE CONTAINING WORDS pants: LIKE POO FROM A CUNT pants: THESE ARE THE DAYS OF OUR LIVES
#cunt
#deuce-pants
#gunmetal-background
#poo
#soap-opera
8,515 7/11/2022 please deprecate me
deuce: I'M XML; PLEASE DEPRECATE ME pants: (CHANTING) XML / XML / XML
#angry-panel
#deuce-pants
#huffy-pants
#sfw
#woodring-field-background
#xml
8,516 7/12/2022 all i said
spigot: ALL I SAID WAS YOUR STUPID CASSEROLE LOOKS LIKE A SCHOOL SHOOTING
#casserole
#food
#mountain-background
#school-shooting
#spigot-solo
8,517 7/13/2022 an american pharmacy store
pants: PANTS AND SPIGOT AND DEUCE RUNNING IN AND OUT OF WALGREENS AFTER FILLING GARBAGE BAGS WITH APLETS AND COTLETS AS SECURITY LOOKS ON deuce: I DON'T KNOW WHAT EITHER OF THOSE THINGS ARE pants: (STAGE WHISPER) YOU'RE DOING GREAT HONEY
#deuce-pants
#somber-deuce
#walgreens
#weird-pants-face
#woodring-field-background
8,518 7/14/2022 crash
pants: CAN I CRASH ON YOUR BALLS FOR THE NIGHT deuce: SURE BUT I WARN YOU THEY ARE SPIKEY AND STABBY AND EMIT WEIRD SOUNDS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT (YOU'LL HEAR LOW-FREQUENCY, METALLIC GROWLS, JUST IGNORE IT)
#balls
#deuce-pants
#mountain-background
8,519 7/15/2022 all you're going to do
spigot: IF ALL YOU'RE GOING TO DO IS TELL ME TO STROKE IT THIS CALL IS OVER
#phone-sex
#spigot-solo
#woodring-field-background
8,520 7/16/2022 muggy
deuce: MUGGY pants: YEAH, WARM HERE pants: DO YOU NEED A JPEG OR JPEGS OF ME BEATING OFF pants: CAN'T REMEMBER IF I ASKED YOU BEFORE deuce: [UNINTELLIGIBLE]
#beating-off
#deuce-pants
#jpeg
#somber-deuce
#swamp-background
#weather
8,521 7/17/2022 it's well past time
pants: I AM A SIMPLE MAN deuce: WELL WE BOTH ARE pants: I SEE A COCK I PUNCH IT (AND THEN FEEL BAD LATER FOR PUNCHING THE COCK) pants: YOU KNOW WHAT pants: WE'VE LIVED RICH, FULL LIVES pants: IT'S TIME TO LIE DOWN IN THE DIRT deuce: YAY
#angry-panel
#cock
#deuce-pants
#punching
#resignation
#stalldoor-background
8,522 7/18/2022 z.a.d.
deuce: T PANTS I HAD A ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE DREAM!!! pants: T DEUCE DID YOU EAT MY BRAINS deuce: IT WAS MY DREAM SO I WASN'T WASN'T ONE OF THE ZOMBIES YOU IDIOT deuce: BUT YES I ATE YOUR BRAINS JUST TO BE SAFE
#brains
#cannibalism
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#dream
#pink-background
#sfw
#somber-deuce
#zombies
8,523 7/19/2022 note books
deuce: I ORDERED NEW NOTEBOOKS!!! I DIDN'T REALIZE I HAD RUN OUT!!!!! pants: MOLESKIN OR FIELD BOOK????? CHOOSE YOUR ANSWER CAREFULLY WISE TRAVELLER SAID THE DUNGEON MASTER WHO WAS ALSO A VAMPYRE deuce: AHEM COMPOSITION/ENGINEERING deuce: GOTTA BE 5X5 (4X4 IS FOR FAGS) deuce: THOUGH I'M GOING BLIND SO I PROBABLY REALLY SHOULD USE 4X4 pants: UH WE HAVE A WHOLE DEPARTMENT OF DEFENSE FOR THIS SORT OF THING
#blindness
#deuce-pants
#dungeons-and-dragons
#engineering
#huffy-pants
#mountain-background
#somber-deuce
#vampire
#vampyre
#weird-pants-face
8,524 7/20/2022 where we grew up
spigot: THE LAND O' LAKES JUVENILE DETENTION FACILITY deuce: THE RECENTLY RECOMMISSIONED DILDO POLISHING ACADEMY effigy: THE BALONEY SHINERS' UNION 12957?
#childhood
#deuce-effigy-spigot
#dildo
#dildo-polishing-academy
#eggshell-background
#somber-deuce
#union
8,525 7/21/2022 bankrupt in 2008
spigot: DO YOU DARE ME TO SHIT ON THE FLOOR OF SHOE PAVILION deuce: WILL THEY BE SHOE-SIZED OR SHOE-SHAPED spigot: NEVERMIND THEY WENT BANKRUPT IN 2008 AND LIQUIDATED ALL THEIR RETAIL ASSETS AT AUCTION spigot: SOMEONE SHOULD LET ME OUT THEN
#despair-panel
#deuce-spigot
#shit
#trapped
#woodring-room-background
8,526 7/22/2022 the sound of children screaming
pants: WE ALSO HAVE REMOVED THE SOUND OF CHILDREN SCREAMING AS THE GUNMAN ENTERS THE CLASSROOM. WE CONSIDER THIS TOO GRAPHIC. deuce: WELL HOW AM I GOING TO BEAT OFF THEN
#beating-off
#current-events
#death
#deuce-pants
#high-res
#school-shooting
#urinal-background
8,527 7/23/2022 but
pants: NORMALLY I WOULDN'T GO OUT INTO THE WOODS AND SHOVE MY HAND INTO HOLES I FIND BUT
#fisting
#hole
#minecraft-background
#pants-solo
#sfw
#single-panel
8,528 7/24/2022 rain drops
spigot: RAINDROPS KEEP LICKIN' / ON MY DICK :NOTES:
#bj-thomas
#dicklicking
#emoji
#singing
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#woodring-stairs-background
8,529 7/25/2022 my dog barks some
spigot: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: GOT A BIG ERECTION IN MY FACE / TODAY :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: deuce: IS THAT AFRICA BY TOTO spigot: IF IT WERE YOU'D BE SINGING ALONG spigot: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: GOT A PENIS / POKIN' AT ME AND IT JUST WON'T GO / AWAY :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: deuce: YOU'D BE SUCKING ALONG
#deuce-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#emoji
#erection
#minecraft-background
#penis
#singing
#toto
8,530 7/26/2022 just kneeling down
effigy: YOU ARE NOT T-SHAPED PEOPLE AT ALL! effigy: YOU ARE JUST KNEELING DOWN SUCKING OFF THE REST IF THE I-SHAPED PEOPLE!! effigy: AS THE SCRUM MASTER I DECLARE THIS STANDUP OVER!
#agile
#blowjob
#effigy-pants
#planking
#scrum
#stand-up
#t-pose
#typo
#woodring-den-background
8,531 7/27/2022 i might catch some perch
pants: HOW WAS CHURCH, HONEY spigot: EVERYBODY POST YOUR SMALL PENIS REACTIONS
#church
#micropenis
#mousehole
#pants-spigot
#penis
#religion
#woodring-room-background
8,532 7/28/2022 all the farts
pants: GETTING ALL THE FARTS OUT NOW BEFORE MY NEXT ZOOM MEETING
#blue-background
#coy-pants
#farts
#pants-solo
#sfw
#zoom
8,533 7/29/2022 i still fit
spigot: I STILL FIT INTO THE DIAPERS I WORE IN HIGH SCHOOL
#diaper
#diapers
#mountain-background
#school
#sfw
#spigot-solo
8,534 7/30/2022 snl closing theme
spigot: PLAY THE SNL CLOSING THEME AS EVERYONE BEATS OFF AT EACH OTHER
#beating-off
#pumpkin-background
#single-panel
#snl
#spigot-solo
8,535 7/31/2022 don't slap 'em
spigot: LAST CHANCE TO LOOK AT ME HECTOR deuce: YOU DON'T SLAP 'EM YOU GRAB 'EM IDIOT pants: BOXCUTTER
#breaking-bad
#deuce-pants-spigot
#green-background
#high-res
#sfw
#single-panel
8,536 8/1/2022 coughing
deuce: I LIKE COUGHING, APPARENTLY pants: IT'S HOW YOU KNOW YOU'RE ALIVE pants: AND HOW OTHERS AROUND YOU KNOW pants: TOILET PISS
#cough
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#gunmetal-background
#piss
#toilet
8,537 8/2/2022 under this sweater
pants: I HAVE BOOBS UNDER THIS SWEATER pants: SHAKE THEM VIOLENTLY pants: LEAVE NO WITNESSES
#boobs
#pants-solo
#violence
#woodring-room-background
8,538 8/3/2022 night-time mouth guard
spigot: THE ANCIENT WISDOM OF THE ELDERS spigot: HURR MY NIGHT-TIME MOUTH GUARD SO I DON'T GRIND MY TEETH spigot: JUST PUT A PENIS IN THERE LADY
#dentures
#mousehole
#old
#penis
#spigot-solo
#woodring-room-background
8,539 8/4/2022 d&d podcast
pants: RUGGED, SEXY MARLBORO MEN SUCH AS MYSELF pants: STICKS LOWER LIP OUT pants: I WILL ROLL IN THEM SO I SMELL LIKE THEM (DOG LOGIC) pants: WHAT I MISS THE MOST ARE STONERS WHO USED TO HANG OUT BY THE 7-11 pants: LIVESTREAM YOURSELF EATING SNAILS pants: I'M TOTALLY GAY FOR SLEEPING IN MY BED pants: JERKMATE: IT'S FUN EXCITING AND TOTALLY CONFIDENTAL pants: WHAT ABOUT OUR D&D PODCAST ??????????????
#7-11
#christ-is-lord
#dungeons-and-dragons
#funloving-nonsense
#gay
#jerkmate
#mountain-background
#pants-solo
#religion
#smoking
#typo
#weed
8,540 8/5/2022 the all-powerful comma
deuce: I LIKE POO PEOPLE deuce: THAT'S POO, PEOPLE NOT PEOPLE MADE OF POO
#clarification
#deuce-solo
#deucegrin
#drunk-deuce
#grammar
#grey-background
#poo
#punctuation
#scat
#smug-deuce
8,541 8/6/2022 cui bono
deuce: STILL NEED TO KNOW WHO SHAVED AJA pants: FIND OUT WHO HAD THE MOST TO GAIN pants: THAT WILL TELL YOU WHO SHAVED HER
#drunk-deuce
#mountain-background
#porn
#shave
#weird-pants-face
8,542 8/7/2022 spirit guide
deuce: I'M YOUR SPIRIT GUIDE deuce: HOWEVER I'M REALLY SHIT AT IT deuce: I JUST TELL YOU TO SET FIRES AND PUNCH COPS
#deja-vu
#deuce-effigy-pants-spigot
#woodring-stairs-background
8,543 8/8/2022 three times
pants: GAY pants: GAY pants: GAY pants: (THAT'S 3X GAY SO DON'T EVEN THINK OF MESSING WITH ME)
#afraid-deuce
#deuce-pants
#deucegrin
#drunk-deuce
#gay
#intimidation
#repetition
#somber-deuce
#woodring-room-background
8,544 8/9/2022 got your nose
pants: YOU ARE ALL MY CHILDREN NOW deuce: CAN I LEGALLY DIVORCE YOU, GIVEN THAT YOU'RE MY PARENT deuce: IS THAT A THING BECAUSE I THINK THAT'S A THING AND I WOULD LIKE IT TO OCCUR pants: GOT YOUR NOSE deuce: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY NOSE WAIT SHITHEAD THAT'S NOT EVEN MY NOSE THAT'S CLEARLY YOUR THUMB deuce: FOOL ME ONCE, SHAME ON YOU deuce: FOOL ME TWICE, IMPOSSIBLE BECAUSE I'VE ALREADY MURDERED YOU FOR FOOLING ME ONCE pants: AHHHHHHHHHHH THAT’S MY THUMB AHHHH
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#divorce
#drunk-deuce
#feet-above-floor
#laughing-deuce
#murder
#nose
#parenthood
#prank
#sfw
#violent-disapproval
#woodring-den-background
8,545 8/10/2022 you're not watching
pants: WATCH ME SUCK IT pants: AHEM YOU'RE NOT WATCHING deuce: I'M BUSY DOING MY HAIR pants: BUT THAT CAN TAKE HOURS deuce: SQUIRRRP
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#huffy-pants
#mousehole
#sucking
#woodring-room-background
8,546 8/11/2022 daylight savings time
spigot: ONE QUESTION I HAVE IS IF DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME IMPACTS COCKSUCKING IN THE DATA CENTER
#cocksucking
#data-center-background
#datacenter
#daylight-savings-time
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
8,547 8/12/2022 wwii
deuce: BETTER WATCH WHAT YOU CLICK ON IF YOU'RE INTERESTED IN WORLD WAR II HISTORY
#deuce-solo
#mountain-background
#sfw
#single-panel
#wwii
8,548 8/13/2022 u.s.a.
spigot: I STAND FOR THE FLAG AND KNEEL FOR THE DICKS
#dicks
#patriotism
#red-background
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
8,549 8/14/2022 lead agile coach
deuce: MY JOB TITLE IS LEAD AGILE COACH WHICH MEANS I DON'T ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING BUT TALK ABOUT DOING THINGS TO PEOPLE WHO ARE TRYING TO DO THINGS
#agile
#deuce-solo
#middle-management
#sfw
#single-panel
#urinal-background
#work
8,550 8/15/2022 slurping and drooling and hurrrr
pants: WITH VANGELIS DEAD WHO WILL MAKE THE SOUNDTRACK FOR EITHER OF THE COMPETING BONEQUEST DOCUMENTARIES???????????? deuce: THERE ARE THREE pants: I ONLY KNOW OF _A LIFETIME OF HLUGAHLUGAULAG_ AND _WHATEVER HAPPENED TO RANDS?_ deuce: THERE'S ALSO _SLURPING AND DROOLING AND HURRRR: THE TRUE STORY OF BONEQUEST_ pants: ONE OF THOSE IS A CHEAP KNOCKOFF BUT I CAN'T REMEMBER WHICH ONE
#coy-pants
#documentary
#drooling
#drunk-deuce
#green-background
#hurr
#movies
#slurping
#soundtrack
#vangelis
8,551 8/16/2022 jeers
spigot: I'VE MAINTAINED MY POSITION ON LOCKS/DEADBOLTS FOR OVER 20 YEARS: JEERS
#callback
#cheers
#deadbolt
#jeers
#lock
#sfw
#spigot-solo
#woodring-field-background
8,552 8/17/2022 here's to 24 more
pants: 24 YEARS OF DUMB NONSENSE pants: 24 YEARS OF UNTALENTED DROPOUTS pants: 24 YEARS OF BI-CURIOUS IDIOTS pants: 24 YEARS AND WE STILL HAVEN'T FIXED OUR MAKEFILES pants: 24 YEARS AND FIVE U.S. PRESIDENTS LATER pants: 24 YEARS OF ANNUAL REPORTS AND SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENTS bung: KILL YOURSELF ozone: ENOUGH ALREADY pants: 24 YEARS OF COCKSUCKING ON THE MOON _AND_ IN THE DATA CENTER pants: 24 YEARS OF UNMARKETABLE GEN-X FLOTSAM dick: JUST STOP hanford: I QUIT pants: 24 YEARS AND STILL NOT OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW BETTER pants: 24 YEARS WITH NO END IN SIGHT pants: LA LA LA GAY THOUGHTS pants: 24 YEARS WITH NOTHING TO SHOW BUT FATNESS pants: 24 YEARS OF STUPID BULLSHIT atandt: NO MORE effigy: NUGGGGH pants: 24 YEARS TOO LONG spigot: FUCK YOU deuce: SHUT UP pants: 24 YEARS OF FRIENDSHIP 💚💙💜🧡
#alt-text
#anniversary
#bi-curious
#birthday-strip
#bong
#clip-art
#cocksucking
#coy-pants
#datacenter
#emoji
#fatness
#friendship
#funloving-nonsense
#gay
#gen-x
#hearts
#heartwarming
#makefiles
#moon
#mountain-background
#nuggh
#overlong
#pants-bung-ozone-dick-hanford-atandt-effigy-spigot
#politics
#somber-deuce
#suicide
#too-many-tags
#wholesome
8,553 8/18/2022 top gun
spigot: MAVERICK AND GOOSE ARE CUTTING THEIR DICKS OFF AND HIGH-FIVING
#blue-background
#genital-mutilation
#spigot-solo
#top-gun
#trannies
8,554 8/19/2022 la mer
deuce: UPON CAREFUL REFLECTION, REALLY I HAVE TO SAY THE LAST PERSON I'D WANT TO MARRY IS A LIGHTHOUSE KEEPER deuce: I MEAN I DON'T EVEN LIKE THE SEA
#blue-background
#deuce-solo
#sad-deuce
#sfw
#the-lighthouse
8,555 8/20/2022 they are hot and they are cross
spigot: YOU'VE HEARD OF HOT CROSS BUNS WELL spigot: HOW ABOUT HOT CROSS :POINT_RIGHT::SKIN-TONE-2: WANGS :POINT_LEFT::SKIN-TONE-2: spigot: :BOOM: `BZZT` OW MY GOD
#emoji
#food
#mountain-background
#pastry
#punishment
#satire
#spigot-solo
#wangs
8,556 8/21/2022 delicious english peas
deuce: FUCK PEAS pants: COME WITH ME pants: AND I'LL SHOW YOU A WORLD OF DELICIOUS ENGLISH PEAS FRESH FROM THE GARDEN deuce: FUCK THEM pants: WE WERE BROUGHT UP ON FROZEN PEAS FROM SAFEWAY WHICH ARE FUCKING DISGUSTING deuce: THAT IS TRUE BUT THEY CAN STILL GO FUCK THEMSELVES
#bored-pants
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#english
#food
#green-background
#low-res
#peas
#safeway
8,557 8/22/2022 caught in the car door
spigot: I NEED PENIS REDUCTION SURGERY!!! IT'S CAUGHT IN THE CAR DOOR AND FLAPPING AROUND ON THE FREEWAY
#car-door
#cbt
#freeway
#genital-mutilation
#mousehole
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#woodring-room-background
8,558 8/23/2022 streaming now
pants: WATCH ME BEAT OFF deuce: MY SCHEDULE'S ALL FULL TODAY, SORRY
#beating-off
#deuce-pants
#rejection
#satire
#scheduling
#single-panel
#woodring-stairs-background
8,559 8/24/2022 does not exist
pants: SUCK AND FUCK CLUB: NEXT RIGHT deuce: JOIN THE MULTIVARIATE DIFFERENTIAL AND INTEGRAL CALCULUS CLUB pants: YOU FORGOT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING OF ALL: LOVE deuce: THAT LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
#calculus
#coy-pants
#drunk-deuce
#fuck
#love
#math
#suck
#woodring-stairs-background
8,560 8/25/2022 sales service support
spigot: THALES :SWEAT_DROPS: THERVITH :SWEAT_DROPS: THUPPORT :SWEAT_DROPS: spigot: MORE LIKE SERVICE MERCHANDYKES spigot: FROM THE DIRECTOR OF MORBIUS pants: FREE R. KELLY
#dykes
#lesbian
#lisp
#mock-lisp
#morbius
#mousehole
#pants-spigot
#r-kelly
#service-merchandise
#woodring-room-background
8,561 8/26/2022 trappy trap trap traps
pants: I'M A TRAP deuce: USING YOU TO CAPTURE RODENTS, SNAKES pants: I AM NOT REALLY THAT EFFECTIVE
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#sfw
#stalldoor-background
#trap
#traps
8,562 8/27/2022 pussy magic
pants: T DEUCE THERE'S A RESCUE CD-ROM CALLED “PARTITION MAGIC” AND CHRISPBS REFERS TO IT IN SHORTHAND AS “PMAGIC” WHICH I CHOOSE TO UNFURL IN MY BRAIN AS “PUSSY MAGIC” deuce: NICE
#chrispbs
#computers
#deuce-pants
#magic
#partition-magic
#pmagic
#pussy
#salmon-background
#single-panel
8,563 8/28/2022 big stupid ones
pants: BIG ONES pants: BIG STUPID ONES pants: PUNCH THEM
#balls
#ones
#pants-solo
#punching
#sfw
#woodring-field-background
8,564 8/29/2022 in which deuce gets covid-19
deuce: LATEST COVID TEST: STILL POSITIVE spigot: PROBABLY GOT IT FROM A BEE pants: OR A DOORKNOB
#bee
#covid-19
#doorknob
#sfw
#woodring-stairs-background
8,565 8/30/2022 the loudest flush
spigot: CLASPING MY HANDS TOGETHER AND ASSIGNING YOU ALL STRETCH GOALS TO GET YOU OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONES spigot: HELLO I'M A NINE YEAR OLD WITH A TRUE CRIME PODCAST READING AN AD FOR DEBT CONSOLIDATION SERVICES spigot: GOODBYE STUPID :TOILET: THE LOUDEST FLUSH IN THE WORLD
#crowdfunding
#emoji
#mountain-background
#podcast
#sfw
#stretch-goal
#toilet
#true-crime
8,566 8/31/2022 bridge
deuce: I WOULD ACTUALLY LIKE TO LEARN HOW TO PLAY BRIDGE pants: I ASSUME IT'S LIKE COSMIC ENCOUNTER FOR OLD PEOPLE
#board-game
#cosmic-encounter
#deuce-pants
#games
#gunmetal-background
#sfw
8,567 9/1/2022 scratch and sniff
deuce: I'M A MONARCH BUTTERFLY deuce: FUCK MY BROWN ASS deuce: WAIT DO BUTTERFLIES HAVE BUTTHOLES??? PROBABLY deuce: DO GIRL BUTTERFLIES HAVE BUTTHOLES??? DOUBTFUL deuce: MY UNDERWEAR IS SCRATCH AND SNIFF
#brown-ass
#butterfly
#butthole
#deuce-solo
#fuck-my-brown-ass
#orange-background
#somber-deuce
8,568 9/2/2022 which is worse
spigot: WHICH IS WORSE: A SYMPOSIUM OR A WEBINAR
#mountain-background
#sfw
#symposium
#webinar
8,569 9/3/2022 actually illegal
spigot: IS POOING YOUR PANTS ACTUALLY ILLEGAL OR JUST FROWNED UPON deuce: T SPIGOT IT'S AN INFRACTION THAT WILL GO ON YOUR PERMANENT RECORD, NOT A CRIME spigot: THEN I'M PUTTING THEM BACK ON THE RACK
#brown-background
#crime
#law
#permanent-record
#poo
#somber-deuce
8,570 9/4/2022 fish sticks
deuce: GUYS deuce: GUYS deuce: I JUST BOUGHT FISH STICKS deuce: YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS deuce: CORRECT ANSWER: A THIRD WORLD WAR
#deuce-solo
#fish-sticks
#food
#sfw
#urinal-background
#war
#wwiii
8,571 9/5/2022 your rights
spigot: BEFORE I LICK YOUR DICK I JUST NEED TO GO AHEAD AND READ YOU YOUR RIGHTS deuce: YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT deuce: YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO HAVE YOUR DICK LICKED AND NO MORE RIGHTS spigot: IF YOU CANNOT AFFORD A PENIS ONE WILL BE PROVIDED TO YOU effigy: FREE OF CHARGE
#deuce-effigy-spigot
#dicklicking
#drunk-deuce
#gunmetal-background
#law
#somber-deuce
8,572 9/6/2022 book club
spigot: A BOOK CLUB BUT WE SHOOT THE BOOKS deuce: DO WE HAVE TO BUY OUR OWN AMMUNITION pants: OR OUR OWN BOOKS
#book-burning
#high-res
#mountain-background
#sfw
#violence
8,573 9/7/2022 tongue
pants: OW I BIT MY TONGUE deuce: I DO THAT FREQUENTLY AND BOY DO I HATE IT pants: MY MOUTH IS SO EXCITED ABOUT THE FOOD THAT IT GOES CRAZY CHOMPING EVERYTHING
#deuce-pants
#food
#pink-background
#sfw
#tongue
8,574 9/8/2022 up all night
spigot: MY PENIS FELL ASLEEP TODAY SO IT'LL BE UP ALL NIGHT
#insomnia
#penis
#sleep
#spigot-solo
#woodring-den-background
8,575 9/9/2022 do you think i'm pretty
deuce: T PANTS DO YOU THINK I'M PRETTY deuce: I MEAN I KNOW I'M PRETTY, I JUST WANT YOU TO SAY IT deuce: ALSO I AM CLEARLY NOT PRETTY deuce: AHEM deuce: TAPS FOOT deuce: SQUINTS deuce: WHISTLES TUNELESSLY pants: IN A CERTAIN LIGHT deuce: CORRECT ANSWER deuce: YOU ARE NOW A `LEVEL 4 CUDDLE ELF` pants: QUEST COMPLETE
#coy-pants
#cuddle-elf
#feet-above-floor
#self-esteem
#sfw
#somber-deuce
#woodring-room-background
8,576 9/10/2022 who shaved deuce
deuce: T PANTS I JUST SHAVED!! pants: T DEUCE IF YOU DIDN'T STREAM IT ON TWITCH IT DIDN'T HAPPEN deuce: IT WAS ON ONLYFANS
#livestream
#modern
#onlyfans
#sfw
#shave
#shaving
#stalldoor-background
#streaming
#twitch
8,577 9/11/2022 very narrow
effigy: BTW, MY PENIS IS SCALENE deuce: MY PENIS IS ISOSCELES BUT VERY NARROW deuce: JUST LIKE WOMEN FROM FLATLAND deuce: WAIT WHAT
#deuce-effigy
#drunk-deuce
#edwin-abbott
#flatland
#geometry
#penis
#somber-deuce
#woodring-stairs-background
8,578 9/12/2022 s.d.s.
spigot: I MADE A SQUIRTY DIARRHEA SOUND IN THE TOILET BOWL THAT SOUNDED EXACTLY LIKE THE MONTY PYTHON ONE AND I ALSO DID ONE IN THE BED pants: SCOOT OVER
#a-love-story
#bed
#brown-background
#diarrhea
#monty-python
#squirt
#toilet
8,579 9/13/2022 the puzzle
spigot: I'D LIKE TO SOLVE THE PUZZLE: I LICK DICK
#dicklicking
#mountain-background
#satire
#spigot-solo
#wheel-of-fortune
8,580 9/14/2022 the 25-cent safeway wiggle horse
spigot: ARE WE OLD ENOUGH TO CONCEAL-CARRY GRABBERS spigot: IF YOU BUY A TALL DRAFTING STOOL, GET A GRABBER SO YOU DON'T THROW YOUR BACK OUT GETTING ON AND OFF THE 25-CENT SAFEWAY WIGGLE HORSE spigot: THE EXTRA HEIGHT MEANS THINGS ACCUMULATE MORE GRAVITY (GRAVITY PARTICLES) AND WHACK THE GROUND LOUDER
#aging
#grabber
#gravity
#oldness
#physics
#sfw
#woodring-field-background
8,581 9/15/2022 seven stages of grief
pants: T DEUCE WE NEED FLIGHTS TO BUENOS AIRES TONIGHT, BRING YOUR HANDGUN AND YOUR CAT (IN A CRATE) pants: T DEUCE BUENOS AIRES TRIP CANCELED, EVERYTHING'S FINE NOW (JUST NEED YOU TO HELP ME DIG A HOLE) deuce: I WILL HAVE A HEART ATTACK WHILE DIGGING AND THEN YOU'LL HAVE TO DIG TWO HOLES deuce: SO REALLY YOU'RE BEST LEAVING ME OUT OF IT (ONE FEWER HOLE TO DIG) deuce: I WILL NOT COMPLETE EVEN ONE HOLE deuce: THIS IS THE SEVEN STAGES OF GRIEF AND I'M STILL ON `NEGOTIATION`
#angry-panel
#brown-background
#cat
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#grave
#grief
#health
#heart-attack
#huffy-pants
#psychology
#sfw
#somber-deuce
#violence
8,582 9/16/2022 log ride
spigot: DO WE AT LEAST GET TO RIDE THE QUEEN'S COFFIN DOWN THE LOG RIDE AT GREAT AMERICA
#coffin
#current-events
#mcdonalds-background
#queen
#queen-elizabeth
#queen-elizabeth-ii
#rollercoasters
#royalty
#sfw
#spigot-solo
8,583 9/17/2022 watch me
pants: WATCH ME SUCK THIS DICK deuce: THAT'S A RUBIK'S CUBE
#dick
#gay
#mcdonalds-background
#puzzle
#rubiks-cube
#sucking
8,584 9/18/2022 now who's gay
spigot: I REMEMBER WHEN :TRANSGENDER_FLAG: SYMBOLIZED A PERFECT SWIRL OF AQUAFRESH ON MY TOOTHBRUSH pants: PEOPLE LIKE YOU WHO ABUSE THE SYSTEM MAKE ME SICK deuce: WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO SET UP A STRUGGLE SESSION FOR THIS pants: MAYBE WRAP ME IN A RUG UNTIL I CALM DOWN deuce: YOU'LL FREAK OUT AT FIRST SINCE YOU CAN'T MOVE YOUR ARMS BUT EVENTUALLY YOU'LL CALM DOWN pants: ANYTHING TO KEEP ME FROM FLAPPING INTO THE BARE LIGHTBULB
#angry-panel
#autism
#blue-background
#china
#coy-pants
#cultural-revolution
#deuce-pants-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#huffy-pants
#low-res
#moth
#rug
#trans
#ts
8,585 9/19/2022 utah
deuce: ONLY GOOD THING I'VE EVER HEARD ABOUT UTAH: PASTRAMI CHEESEBURGERS
#cheeseburgers
#deuce-pants
#food
#pastrami
#red-background
#sfw
#utah
8,586 9/20/2022 citizens of gotham
spigot: IF :POINT-RIGHT: I :POINT-LEFT: WERE A VILLAIN spigot: I'D GO TO THE ROOFTOP BAT SIGNAL WITH A BIG OL' SHARPIE AND MAKE A SPEECH BALLOON SAYING I'M GAY spigot: WHAT??????? A GAY BATMAN TALKING OUT LOUD WITH SPECIAL WORDS THAT DRAW THEMSELVES ON CLOUDS????? THIS LITERALLY DOES NOT ADD UP spigot: THEN I'D BEAT OFF ON THE CITIZENS OF GOTHAM spigot: NOW WHO'S GAY??? I WOULD CACKLE THROUGH THE NIGHT HASHTAG THECACKLER HASHTAG U GOT CACKLED
#batman
#beating-off
#cackler
#gay
#ghetto-u
#mountain-background
#spigot-solo
#the-cackler
#u-got-cackled
8,587 9/21/2022 no raisins
spigot: WHAT IS THE DEFINITION OF SUCCESS FOR A CINNAMON ROLL? `UM NO RAISINS` [SEND]
#food
#raisins
#red-text
#sfw
#spigot-solo
#woodring-stairs-background
8,588 9/22/2022 a dreamed force
spigot: JUST GOING TO TUCK IN MY LANYARD HERE spigot: CAN I USE YOUR BATHROOM spigot: `SPLORT` spigot: CAN I USE YOUR BATHROOM spigot: `SPLOP` spigot: CAN WE USE YOUR BATHROOM spigot: `SPLOSH SPLAP SPLAP ` spigot: CAN WE USE YOUR SIDEWALK spigot: `SQUIRP SQUAP SQUOP` spigot: CAN WE USE YOUR MAILBOX spigot: `SPLUT SQUIRSH SQUIRSH ` spigot: CAN WE USE YOUR MIATA spigot: `SPLORT SPLOP SQUIRP SPLOSH SPLAP SPLAP SQUIRP SQUAP SQUOP SPLUT SQUIRSH` spigot: WHY DO ONLY DOGS GET PLASTIC BAGS
#datacenter
#defecation
#dogshit
#dream
#multiple-backgrounds
#poop
#red-text
#spigot-solo
#splut
8,589 9/23/2022 business
spigot: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: TAKIN' CARE / OF BUSINESS :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: spigot: :NOTES: EVERY DAY :NOTES: spigot: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: I'M / TAKIN' CARE OF BUSINESS :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: deuce: FUCKING GAY spigot: LOOKS LIKE WE'RE BOTH TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS spigot: :ICECREAM: :ICECREAM: :ICECREAM: :ICECREAM: T C B Y :ICECREAM: :ICECREAM: :ICECREAM: :ICECREAM: deuce: STANDING ON YOUR NECK UNTIL DEAD
#aqua-background
#bachman-turner-overdrive
#deuce-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#emoji
#gay
#murder
#singing
#tcby
#violent-disapproval
8,590 9/24/2022 so much
spigot: SUCKING SO MUCH DICK MY WATCH THINKS I RAN A 5K
#apple-watch
#dicksucking
#exercise
#mountain-background
#spigot-solo
#watch
8,591 9/25/2022 shit yeah
pants: WHO WANTS PANCAKES ??? deuce: FUCK OFF effigy: HEARD pants: SHIT YEAH LET'S DO BALLS
#balls
#coy-pants
#deuce-effigy-pants
#echinaceamagnus-background
#gay
#pancakes
#photo-background
8,592 9/26/2022 vietnam
pants: I AM GUNNERY SERGEANT HARTMAN YOUR SENIOR DRILL INSTRUCTOR pants: FROM NOW ON YOU ARE STEERS AND QUEERS AND A PETER PUFFER pants: NOPE, SCREWED THAT UP pants: SMASH CUT: *** VIETNAM *** pants: CHEESECAKE FACTORY ANYONE ?? pants: I GOT A SPAGHETTI AND-A THE MEATBALLS pants: A-THAT'S A-GOOD A- pants: NOPE, SHUT UP pants: JUST BE QUIET pants: ECHO ECHO ECHO ECHO
#cheesecake-factory
#coy-pants
#food
#full-metal-jacket
#funloving-nonsense
#huffy-pants
#italian
#okay-pants-face
#pants-solo
#weird-pants-face
#white-background
8,593 9/27/2022 a clear progression
:and: IT GOES pants: PLEASE DO THE NEEDFUL pants: I SAID PLEASE deuce: SAY PRETTY PLEASE deuce: WITH SUGAR ON TOP deuce: AND A SLICE OF DICK deuce: A SLAB OF DICK pants: I LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING pants: (THE THEMES AT PLAY) deuce: A DOLLOP OF DICK deuce: SLICE, SLAB, DOLLOP deuce: IT'S A CLEAR PROGRESSION AND THE RESULT IS [UNINTELLIGIBLE]
#angry-panel
#bored-pants
#caption
#coy-pants
#deja-vu
#deuce-pants
#deucegrin
#dick
#drunk-deuce
#huffy-pants
#meow
#mountain-background
#needful
#please
#satire
#somber-deuce
8,594 9/28/2022 several hours
spigot: ACCORDING TO THE COSMIC CALENDAR I'VE ONLY BEEN LICKING DICK FOR HALF A SECOND BUT HONESTLY IT FEELS LIKE SEVERAL HOURS
#carl-sagan
#cosmic-calendar
#dicklicking
#gunmetal-background
#spigot-solo
#time
8,595 9/29/2022 only tiny pricks here
pants: CAN I JOIN YOUR CLUB (THE BIG WANG GANG) deuce: ONLY TINY PRICKS HERE, SORRY pants: DARN, SAME
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#gang
#rhyming
#wangs
#woodring-stairs-background
8,596 9/30/2022 some one
spigot: SOMEONE CUT MY FUCKING HEAD OFF SO I CAN GO HOME EARLY
#death
#decapitation
#mousehole
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#woodring-room-background
#work
8,597 10/1/2022 watch till end
pants: WATCH TILL END pants: HALGHAULGH pants: LAGHLAGHULAG pants: GAHULGHALGHLAG pants: AHAGLAHGLHALG pants: GHULAUHLGAG pants: HGLUAHGLAGLG pants: AO*YGALGBHLAGHL pants: I WAS TOLD THERE WOULD BE A PANCAKES REWARD PROGRAM
#bait-and-switch
#cocksucking
#cocksucking-noises
#dicklicking
#huffy-pants
#overlong
#pancakes
#pants-spigot
#woodring-den-background
8,598 10/2/2022 not a drill
:the: OF NUCLEAR WEAPONS HAS BEEN AUTHORIZED deuce: THIS IS NOT A DRILL
#caption
#crimson-tide
#deja-vu
#deuce-solo
#nuclear-weapons
#sfw
#single-panel
#woodring-stairs-background
8,599 10/3/2022 or don't
pants: JACK ME OFF pants: OR DON'T pants: BUT PLEASE DO
#drugs
#jacking-off
#pants-solo
#woodring-room-background
8,600 10/4/2022 what have we done indeed
pants: WHAT HAVE WE DONE deuce: ONLY WHAT WAS NECESSARY TO SURVIVE
#alt-text
#deuce-pants
#photo-background
#potomac-background
#sfw
8,601 10/5/2022 filking
pants: SING A SONG OF SUCKING IT deuce: A POCKET FULL OF PRICKS pants: CHOKING / POKING deuce: ALL FALL DOWN
#deuce-pants
#gay
#london-bridge
#poking-and-choking
#pricks
#ring-around-the-rosy
#satire
#singing
#song-parody
#sucking
#woodring-stairs-background
8,602 10/6/2022 we can rebuild him
pants: YUMMY YUMMY HAKGHAO87TI P-HJNPK;,,,,,, deuce: DON'T EAT THAT deuce: AN ELECTRICAL DISCHARGE, A FAINT WHIFF OF OZONE, AND PANTS IS DEAD deuce: WE WILL REBUILD HIM, WE HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY deuce: HERE ARE FIVE DICKS AND A PACEMAKER LET'S GO PEOPLE GO GO GO deuce: WEHIFHKHKL SHILBBHLHLBGH (THE SOUND OF WORK BEING DONE) deuce: HIS HEART IS BEATING AGAIN deuce: STRANGELY ENOUGH WE HAVE NOT STAVED OFF HIS CRAVING FOR DICKS deuce: THIS IS EXPERIMENT IS A FAILURE pants: FEED ME HOT DOGS
#death
#deuce-pants
#mountain-background
#satire
#science
#sfx
#surgery
#the-six-million-dollar-man
#typo
8,603 10/7/2022 snow day
#blank-panel
#deja-vu
#mousehole
#multiple-backgrounds
#no-dialog
#nothing
#plant
#sfw
#woodring-field-background
#woodring-room-background
#woodring-stairs-background
8,604 10/8/2022 pants goes to mars
:i: THE STILLNESS HERE. :i: TIRED OF EARTH. :i: TIRED OF BEING CAUGHT IN THE TANGLE OF THEIR LIVES. :they: THEIR LABORS ARE TO BUILD A HEAVEN :yet: HEAVEN IS POPULATED WITH HORRORS. pants: OH MY GOD THERE'S A DICK LITERALLY 100 METERS AWAY
#dicks
#mars-background
#pants-solo
#satire
#watchmen
8,605 10/9/2022 superhero
deuce: MY SUPERHERO NAME IS THADDEUS THALLIUM deuce: SORRY WRONG CHANNEL pants: THREE PEOPLE FOR THIS STRIP ??
#blue-background
#deuce-pants-spigot
#filler-panel
#meta
#micropenis
#silent-spigot
8,606 10/10/2022 ass 2
spigot: *** BREAKING *** spigot: LOUD SHITTING THE NEW QUIET QUITTING
#current-events
#feet-above-floor
#news
#shit
#spigot-solo
#woodring-den-background
8,607 10/11/2022 sandwich daddy
:look: THIS FATTY 🤠 pants: AND SO I WAKE IN THE MORNING AND I STEP OUTSIDE pants: AND I TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND I GET REAL HIGH pants: AND I SCREAM FROM THE TOP OF MY LUNGS pants: ^BE MY SANDWICH DADDY^
#caption
#cowboy
#emoji
#fatness
#four-non-blondes
#mountain-background
#pants-solo
#sandwich-daddy
#sfw
#singing
#whats-up
8,608 10/12/2022 t deuce look narration is fixed
:just: AT THIS FAT LITTLE COWBOY 🤠 :he's: FAT HE CAN BARELY MEND FENCES ⛺🐄 pants: DUHHHHHH DROOLING
#cowboy
#emoji
#fatness
#mountain-background
#pants-solo
#sandwich-daddy
#sfw
8,609 10/13/2022 second base
deuce: "SECOND BASE" IS WHEN YOU TALK TO A WOMAN AND SHE DOESN'T LAUGH dick: IT'S WHEN SHE STOPS MOVIN'
#deuce-dick
#sfw
#white-background
#women
8,610 10/14/2022 ass 1
spigot: NO IFS ANDS OR SQUIRTS
#mountain-background
#spigot-solo
#squirt
8,611 10/15/2022 with or without
deuce: ARE GIRLS THE ONES WITH OR WITHOUT PENISES pants: DID YOU EVEN CHECK THE MONSTER MANUAL
#deuce-pants
#dungeons-and-dragons
#girl
#huffy-pants
#penis
#trannies
#trans
#ts
#women
#woodring-stairs-background
8,612 10/16/2022 ass 3
spigot: TRAVELING THROUGH TIME DOING MATH AND STUDYING THE VIOLIN I LITERALLY HAVE NO TIME FOR CAPERS spigot: YEAH I'M ON THE "SPECTRUM" spigot: SUCKING PRICKS EQUALLY CAUSE THEY REMAIN UNDER MOUTHED
#ass
#autism
#cocksucking
#math
#mnemonic
#mousehole
#pricks
#spectrum
#spigot-solo
#time-travel
#woodring-room-background
8,613 10/17/2022 the war of the dick
pants: SHALL WE HAVE A CIVIL WAR deuce: OVER WHAT pants: MY OWN DICK deuce: COMING: 2023 deuce: WHOSE SIDE WILL YOU BE ON pants: I TOLD YOU, I'M FIGHTING AGAINST MY OWN DICK deuce: SIGNING AN ARMISTICE IN THE WAR OF THE DICK deuce: WHICH INTERNATIONAL HISTORIANS REFER TO AS THE AMERICAN WAR OF THE DICK deuce: TO DISTINGUISH IT FROM ALL THE OTHER DICK WARS deuce: BUT A PEACE TREATY WAS NEVER SIGNED SO TECHNICALLY THE WAR STILL RAGES ON
#dick
#drunk-deuce
#gunmetal-background
#history
#huffy-pants
#somber-deuce
#war
8,614 10/18/2022 magneto was right
pants: THIS PLASTIC PRISON CANNOT HOLD ME FOREVER CHARLES deuce: :WOMAN_SHRUGGING:
#deuce-pants
#emoji
#magneto
#sfw
#white-background
#x-men
8,615 10/19/2022 windows 10
deuce: EVERYTIME MY WINDOWS 10 MACHINE DOES AN AUTOMATIC UPDATE AND REBOOTS MY WINDOWS ALL REOPEN BUT THEY'RE ALL SIZED AND PLACED WRONG AND IT REALLY KIND OF PISSES ME OFF pants: THIS IS TRULY THE YEAR OF THE LINUX DESKTOP (HAND ON HEART, TEARS) deuce: SERIOUS THIS TIME!!!1
#computers
#cornflower-background
#deuce-pants
#linux
#reboot
#sfw
#update
#windows
8,616 10/20/2022 bonequest inquest
deuce: I DECLARE A BONEQUEST INQUEST deuce: THIS INQUEST IS HEREBY CLOSED
#atandt-bung-deuce-dick-effigy-ozone-net-pants-spig
#mountain-background
#sfw
#weird-pants-face
8,617 10/21/2022 again with the downtime
spigot: AY TON WE GOT CONNECTIVITY PROBLEMS pants: OOF MARONE WITH THE NETWORK LATENCY
#huffy-pants
#networking
#sfw
#the-sopranos
#woodring-room-background
8,618 10/22/2022 a debate
spigot: YOU SAY DICKLICKING, I SAY RECLAIMING YOUTHFUL VIGOR spigot: CLOSE THE DOOR
#dicklicking
#mousehole
#spigot-solo
#woodring-room-background
8,619 10/23/2022 such a loser
ozone: I FEEL LIKE SUCH A LOSER FOR NOT GIVING A SHIT
#apathy
#ozone-solo
#woodring-field-background
8,620 10/24/2022 public service announcement
effigy: AT LEAST PLEASE KEEP YOUR AMMO SEPARATE FROM YOUR FIREARMS
#7-11
#9-11
#a-love-story
#effigy-solo
#grey-background
#not-gay
#psa
#sfw
8,621 10/25/2022 penis problems
spigot: PENIS PROBLEMS??? spigot: TRY BRINGING ME A PENIS SOLUTION
#mountain-background
#penis
#spigot-solo
8,622 10/26/2022 fight troll
effigy: FIGHT TROLL WITH PENIS. effigy: NO EFFECT.
#burnt-background
#effigy-solo
#infocom
#penis
#troll
#troll-blowing
#zork
8,623 10/27/2022 and the of the
deuce: AND THE / HOOOOME / OF THE / BRAAAAVE pants: STATIC spigot: SO. MUCH. THIS.
#deuce-pants-spigot
#nostalgia
#sfw
#static-background
#television
8,624 10/28/2022 dumb and not funny
deuce: T PANTS I OFTEN HAVE DREAMS THAT I HAVE TO ^PEE^ REALLY BAD AND THEN I WAKE UP AND HAVE TO ^PEE^ REALLY BAD deuce: LAST NIGHT HAD A DREAM THAT I _SHIT_ MYSELF AND DOT DOT DOT deuce: I WOKE UP TO DISCOVER I HAD NOT _SHIT_ MYSELF!!! pants: WHAT ABOUT JIZZ (THE FINAL FRONTIER) deuce: I MEAN I KIND OF HAD TO _POO_ BUT NOT URGENTLY pants: SUCKING CHEST WOUNDS??????? deuce: WHICH WAS A RELIEF pants: I GUESS
#bored-pants
#brown-background
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#dreams
#ellipsis
#jizz
#pee
#poo
#shit
#somber-deuce
#star-trek
#sucking
8,625 10/29/2022 2fa
spigot: HERE'S A FACTOR YOU COULD AUTHENTICATE: JESUS CHRIST
#jesus
#mountain-background
#spigot-solo
8,626 10/30/2022 down we go
pants: DOWN WE GO pants: BLOOP pants: SEARCHING FOR DICK ON THE OCEAN FLOOR
#blue-background
#dicks
#ocean
#pants-solo
8,627 10/31/2022 lde
spigot: SORRY ABOUT MY LDE (LONG DONG ENERGY)
#dong
#medical
#mountain-background
#spigot-solo
8,628 11/1/2022 cat hair
pants: PFFT PFFFFFFT effigy: CAT HAIR IN YOUR MOUTH, HUH pants: YEAH
#cat-hair
#cats
#effigy-pants
#mouth-of-pants
#sfw
#stalldoor-background
8,629 11/2/2022 cheese cake pix
spigot: LIKE A FOOT OR SO pants: THEY ARE TOASTERS AND THEY FLY spigot: ROUGHLY TWO BARLEYCORNS IN DIAMETER pants: IN THE BATHROOM??? BUT THAT'S WHERE I POO AND PEE!!! GROSS!!! spigot: AT LEAST HALF A HECTARE pants: AT FIRST I WAS EXCITED ABOUT THE “CHEESECAKE PIX” BUT THEY WERE JUST NUDES
#after-dark
#bathroom
#huffy-pants
#pants-spigot
#pee
#poo
#urinal-background
8,630 11/3/2022 tomorrow off
deuce: I HAVE TOMORROW OFF!!! deuce: IT'S A HOLIDAY TO CELEBRATE DIVERSITY deuce: SO I'LL JERK OFF TO WHITE WOMEN FOR A CHANGE OF PACE pants: DON'T BE RACIST pants: YOU CAN ATONE FOR YOUR SINS BY SIMPLY MASTURBATING TO MY FACE
#deuce-pants
#diversity
#echinaceamagnus-background
#holiday
#jerking-off
#race
#satire
#somber-deuce
#work
8,631 11/4/2022 poker night
deuce: I ONLY WANT TO GO TO POKER NIGHT IF THERE IS NO DRINKING OR DOING DRUGS OR HAVING FUN OR TALKING deuce: ONLY SINGING TO 80S HITS pants: WHERE HAVE YOU BEENALL MY LIFE (TALKING TOTHE BANJO) deuce: I'M PARTICULARLY FOND OF DURAN DURAN, OR DURAN^2 AS I CALL THEM
#1980s
#banjo
#deuce-pants
#drinking
#drugs
#duran-duran
#music
#sfw
#woodring-den-background
8,632 11/5/2022 shaft
atandt: IT'S THE SEVENTIES AND I'M A BLACK COP WITH BRUCE LEE'S SKILLS AND MY OWN ATTITUDE atandt: WITH A FINE BLACK SISTA WHO WANTSA GET BUSY WITH ME :EGGPLANT: :EGGPLANT: :EGGPLANT: :EGGPLANT: :EGGPLANT: :EGGPLANT: atandt: ANY ADVICE ????? pants: ALL YOUR WEBSITES RUINED MY LIFE
#atandt-pants
#bored-pants
#eggplant
#eggshell-background
#emoji
#police
#sista
8,633 11/6/2022 a sucking snake
deuce: S S S S S pants: ARE YOU A SUCKING SNAKE deuce: I'M A SSSSSSEGMENTATION FAULT SSSSSSS SSSSS pants: WELL I'M GAY 4 PISS deuce: SSSSSSS SSSSSS pants: PISS PISS PISS spigot: ENJOY YOUR 3 DAY BANS
#ban
#blue-background
#computers
#deuce-pants-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#gay
#janny
#piss
#programming
#segmentation-fault
#snake
#sucking
8,634 11/7/2022 totally right
pants: GLORP DUH YOU WERE TOTALLY RIGHT ABOUT THE PRICK-TASTING FACTORY deuce: THESE DON'T TASTE LIKE PRICKS AT ALL spigot: I BRING MY OWN LAWRY'S SEASONING SALT
#deuce-pants-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#grey-background
#huffy-pants
#lawrys-seasoning-salt
#pricks
#somber-deuce
8,635 11/8/2022 guillermo del toro's cabinet of curiosities
spigot: ?????? ???????????? COCKSUCKING IN GUILLERMO DEL TORO'S CABINET OF CURIOSITIES ????????????? ?????????
#alt-text
#cocksucking
#mountain-background
#spigot-solo
#tv
8,636 11/9/2022 swiss basics
spigot: I'M HAVING GOOD LUCK WITH SWISS BASICS MOISTURIZING FORMULA pants: MAYBE I'LL TRY IT spigot: A LITTLE SQUEEZE A LITTLE SQUIRT spigot: A DOLLOP A SQUISH A SPLOP ON THE OL' spigot: DID YOU WA- pants: I KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT
#alt-text
#coy-pants
#eggshell-background
#pants-spigot
8,637 11/10/2022 a great day
spigot: THIS IS A GREAT DAY FOR PICTURES OF MY PENIS
#alt-text
#mountain-background
#spigot-solo
8,638 11/11/2022 horsey sauce
deuce: WHAT'S A MASTODON NODE pants: SLANG FOR DILDO
#alt-text
#deuce-pants
#dildo
#horsey-sauce
#mastodon
#urinal-background
8,639 11/12/2022 seriously
spigot: IS THERE SERIOUSLY NO PORN STAR NAMED SANDY HOOK
#porn
#sandy-hook
#spigot-solo
#urinal-background
8,640 11/13/2022 he sleeps like that
pants: ZZZ SNORK WHAT'S ALL THIS ABOUT DICKS
#dicks
#filler-panel
#gunmetal-background
#pants-sleeping
#pants-solo
8,641 11/14/2022 prayer warriors
pants: PRAYER WARRIORS DESPERATELY NEEDED AGAIN pants: JUST KIDDING WELCOME TO THE COCKSUCKING CONTEST BOYS
#cocksucking
#deuce-pants-spigot
#mountain-background
#prayer
#somber-deuce
8,642 11/15/2022 dirty pool
pants: ...OR WOULD THAT BE DIRTY POOL pants: T DEUCE WHAT IS DIRTY POOL pants: T DEUCE I WANT TO PLAY DIRTY POOL deuce: DIRTY POOL IS BILLIARDS WITH SHIT ON THE TABLE deuce: (ACTUAL SHIT)
#bored-pants
#coy-pants
#drunk-deuce
#gunmetal-background
#huffy-pants
#idiom
#pool
#shit
#somber-deuce
8,643 11/16/2022 a real stormtrooper
pants: HAVE YOUR PHOTO TAKEN WITHA STORMTROOPER FOR $3.00 deuce: YOU MEAN A REAL ONE RIGHTNOT LIKE THE ONES IN NAZI GERMANY
#black-background
#deuce-pants
#nazi
#star-wars
#wwii
8,644 11/17/2022 chased by those robots
deuce: HELP I'M BEING CHASED BY THOSE ROBOTS FROM INTERSTELLAR
#deuce-solo
#interstellar
#movies
#robot
#sfw
#woodring-room-background
8,645 11/18/2022 monday minute
spigot: MANAGER'S MONDAY MINUTE !!!!!!!!! DUMPING HOT OATMEAL ON YOUR CHILD!!!!!!
#brown-background
#oatmeal
#sfw
#spigot-solo
8,646 11/19/2022 at least four
deuce: THREE-CHEESE TORTELLINI WITH PESTO SAUCE HERE I COME!!! pants: WHY NOT FOUR OR FIVE deuce: I'M ON A BUDGET OKAY pants: YOU DESERVE AT LEAST 4
#bored-pants
#deuce-pants
#food
#greenlight-background
#huffy-pants
#sfw
8,647 11/20/2022 the weather outside
pants: EXCUSE ME MISS BUT I HAVE A PAYLOAD FOR YOU deuce: ALSO YOUR HEAD LOOKS AWFULLY COLD
#deuce-pants
#violetgrey-background
8,648 11/21/2022 fire works
spigot: FIREWORKS IN THE COURTROOM AS I POO MY PANTS
#court
#fireworks
#gunmetal-background
#poo
#spigot-solo
8,649 11/22/2022 wait wait
pants: WAIT WAIT pants: WHAT KIND OF PIE
#apricot-background
#deuce-pants-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#pie
#sfw
8,650 11/23/2022 the mid-day squirts
spigot: :NOTES: :TV: WHO'S GOT TIME / FOR THE MID-DAY SQUIRTS :BASKETBALL: 🗑️ :STAR2: :100: :GLASS_OF_MILK::GLASS_OF_MILK::GLASS_OF_MILK::GLASS_OF_MILK::GLASS_OF_MILK::GLASS_OF_MILK: :DOUGHNUT::DOUGHNUT::DOUGHNUT::DOUGHNUT::DOUGHNUT:
#diarrhea
#emoji
#mountain-background
#singing
#spigot-solo
#squirts
8,651 11/24/2022 41 feet
bung: I JUST PULLED OUT THE LONGEST NOSE HAIR IN HISTORY deuce: HONK BONK pants: 41 FEET deuce: 2.64 X 10^5 M bung: CLOSE! ABOUT AN INCH bung: I COULD FEEL IT TUG ON MY BRAIN deuce: OKAY 2.64 CM pants: 41 FEET
#bung-deuce-pants
#metric
#mountain-background
#sfw
8,652 11/25/2022 the future
pants: ARE YOU FROM THE FUTURE deuce: I GOT MY EYES DILATED BY THE EYE DOCTOR MANS pants: MAYBE A NOT TOO DISTANT FUTURE???
#bored-pants
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#eyes
#future
#mst3k
#sfw
#white-background
8,653 11/26/2022 all night *or* i can
spigot: I CAN LICK DICK ALL NIGHT *OR* I CAN DRINK THIS MUCH WATER :PINCHING_HAND: AND LICK DICK ALL NIGHT INTO THE MORNING deuce: TRULY A HOBSON'S CHOICE
#deuce-spigot
#dicklicking
#stalldoor-background
8,654 11/27/2022 a man's shoe
deuce: I BURPED deuce: DO YOU FORGIVE ME pants: NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN :MANS_SHOE:
#angry-punchy-deuce
#brown-background
#burp
#deuce-pants
#emoji
#forgiveness
#german
#inglorious-basterds
#repetition
#sfw
#shoe
8,655 11/28/2022 a frozen conflict
deuce: MY GROINABLE, CROTCHABLE AREA IS A FROZEN CONFLICT pants: DENY THEM THE RIGHT TO EXIST deuce: MY LEFT BALL IS IRREDENTIST BUT MY RIGHT ONE IS REVANCHIST
#coy-pants
#current-events
#deuce-pants
#deuces-balls
#drunk-deuce
#geopolitics
#mcdonalds-background
#nuts-of-deuce
#war
8,656 11/29/2022 eldenring downloadable content
spigot: WILLING TO LICK DICK FOR ELDENRING DOWNLOADABLE CONTENT
#dicklicking
#elden-ring
#eldenring
#gaming
#mountain-background
#spigot-solo
#video-games
8,657 11/30/2022 skateboards
spigot: WHAT ARE ALL THESE MOTORIZED SKATEBOARDS DOING AT A JEWISH KINDERGARTEN ?? spigot: HAVEN'T THERE BEEN ENOUGH SHUL SCOOTINGS
#dad-joke
#jews
#school-shooting
#spigot-solo
#woodring-field-background
8,658 12/1/2022 irate pirates
spigot: DID I HEAR YOU RIGHT / DID I HEAR YOU SAYIN spigot: THAT YOU'RE GONNA MAKE A COPY OF A GAME WITHOUT PAYIN
#computer-games
#dont-copy-that-floppy
#gunmetal-background
#sfw
#singing
#software-piracy
#spigot-solo
8,659 12/2/2022 feelin' grabby
pants: FEELIN' GRABBY pants: GROPEY pants: HANDSY pants: LET ME DO AS I DO: SQUEEZING + PINCHING pants: FORMING A SEAL AROUND THE AFFECTED AREA WITH MY MOUTH pants: SLAPPING + SLASHING deuce: CAN I GO NOW pants: THIS CANNOT END WELL pants: IT NEVER DOES!!!!!!!!! deuce: YOU'RE BLOWING A VACUUM CLEANER deuce: AND IT'S NOT EVEN ON, THIS ISN'T EVEN ENTERTAINING TO WATCH pants: YOU MAY BE EXCUSED deuce: I SHALL GO WITH GOD pants: ALL PRAISE TO HIM
#bong
#bored-pants
#coy-pants
#drunk-deuce
#god
#huffy-pants
#religion
#somber-deuce
#vacuum
#weird-pants-face
#woodring-room-background
8,660 12/3/2022 dip switch
pants: RESET MY BONER TO ITS INITIAL STATE (FLOPPY, STUPID) pants: YES YOU NEED TO USE THE DIPSWITCH
#boner
#deuce-pants-spigot
#feet-above-floor
#huffy-pants
#mousehole
#woodring-room-background
8,661 12/4/2022 no longer a threat
deuce: AHHH, MY WEEKLY SHOWER deuce: NOW I AM NO LONGER A THREAT TO HUMANITY deuce: FOR A FEW DAYS
#coy-pants
#huffy-pants
#hygiene
#sfw
#shower
#starbucks-background
8,662 12/5/2022 when everything's back to normal
spigot: I DID NOT LIKE THAT VISIT FROM THE GHOST OF PENISES YET TO COME deuce: TURNS OUT GHOST PENISES POKE AND PROD JUST LIKE THE LIVE ONES pants: THE WORLD'S LARGEST UNDERWATER BLOWHOLE pants: SHOW ME YOUR DINGUS deuce: WHEN EVERYTHING'S BACK TO NORMAL I CAN FINALLY TAKE A BREAK AND BLOW MY BRAINS OUT spigot: A STEADY DIET OF PERFORMANCE PLANS AND PROGRESS CHECKINS
#agile
#blowhole
#christmas
#christmas-carol
#comprehensively-tagged
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants-spigot
#dingus
#drunk-deuce
#funloving-nonsense
#gay
#ghosts
#huffy-pants
#lemon-background
#middle-management
#penis
#somber-deuce
#suicide
#underwater
#weird-pants-face
8,663 12/6/2022 a change of pace
pants: MAYBE I SHOULD BARF ON MY OWN COCK FOR A CHANGE
#pants-solo
#roman-shower
#woodring-field-background
8,664 12/7/2022 alpha males
pants: ALPHA MALES EAT WINGS AT HOOTERS pants: ALPHA MALES DRINK BEER WITH THE BOYS pants: ALPHA MALES IN JORTS AND WIFE BEATERS COMPLAINING ABOUT THE HEAT pants: ALPHA MALES GOING THROUGH THE MOTIONS DAY IN DAY OUT pants: ALPHA MALES, CURIOUS ABOUT THE FRESHLY-DRILLED HOLE IN THE STALL WALL, DECIDE TO COMMUNICATE WITH THE OTHER SIDE BY POKING OBJECTS THROUGH TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS deuce: GET OUT OF HERE
#alpha-male
#beer
#buffalo-wings
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#fashion
#gay
#gay-theory
#glory-hole
#hooters
#jorts
#urinal-background
#weird-pants-face
8,665 12/8/2022 oh no
pants: OH NO I BROKE MY DANGER HIPTOP SIDEKICK
#cell-phone
#datacenter-background
#mobile-phone
#pants-solo
#phone
#sfw
#smartphone
#technology
8,666 12/9/2022 twinks on parade
pants: ARE YOU IN A WIKIHOLE pants: DO YOU NEED HELP deuce: SHUT UP I'M DOING IMPORTANT RESEARCH pants: GODSPEED LITTLE CHICKEN pants: OPENING MY MOUTH WIDE pants: MAKING HISSING NOISES pants: MAYBE THERE'S A SNAKE INSIDE, MAYBE NOTHING
#bored-pants
#corndog-background
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#gay
#huffy-pants
#mouth-of-pants
#research
#snake
#twink
#weird-pants-face
#wikipedia
8,667 12/10/2022 am i a light
pants: AM I A LIGHT THAT TRAVELS INTO SPACE [Y/N] pants: PRESS ENTER FOR A DEFAULT OF Y: deuce: Q pants: *** YOU ARE QUEER ***
#deuce-pants
#gunmetal-background
#queer
8,668 12/11/2022 sucking dick in the bathroom
pants: I SUCK DICK IN THE BATHROOM deuce: YOU DON'T SAY
#deuce-pants
#dicksucking
#urinal-background
8,669 12/12/2022 thyber monday
deuce: THYBER MONDAY pants: :TONGUE: :SWEAT_DROPS: HTHTHTHTHYBER MONDAY
#coy-pants
#emoji
#gay
#holiday
#lisp
#mock-lisp
#mountain-background
#sfw
#shopping
8,670 12/13/2022 in days of old
effigy: YEARS AGO IN DAYS OF OLD AND MAGIC FILLED THE AIR spigot: DELETE THIS
#effigy-spigot
#led-zeppelin
#minecraft-background
#sfw
8,671 12/14/2022 unvaxxed dicks
pants: UNVAXXED DICKS????????????? WELL MAYBE IN A PINCH DURING WINTER OR SOMETHING
#covid-19
#coy-pants
#dicks
#gay
#mountain-background
#pants-solo
#vaccination
#winter
8,672 12/15/2022 licking dick
spigot: LICKING DICK . . . . . . . . . . . . . . spigot: HEAR ME OUT . . . . . . . . . . . . . spigot: . . . . . . . DOT COM
#dicklicking
#mars-background
#spigot-solo
#url
8,673 12/16/2022 will lick dick
spigot: WILL LICK DICK FOR A STRUCTURED SETTLEMENT
#dicklicking
#legal
#mousehole
#spigot-solo
#woodring-room-background
8,674 12/17/2022 well you can't
spigot: WILL MY PENIS REPLACE PROGRAMMERS deuce: SURE WISH I COULD SEE PICTURES OF HUNTER BIDEN'S SCHLONG pants: WELL YOU CAN'T
#computer
#cornflower-background
#coy-pants
#penis
#politics
#porn
#programming
#schlong
#somber-deuce
8,675 12/18/2022 greatest health problem
deuce: BUTTHOLITIS deuce: THE 21ST CENTURY'S GREATEST HEALTH PROBLEM
#atandt-deuce-ozone
#butthole
#drunk-deuce
#health
#ibs
#itchy
#mousehole
#renaissance-man
#uncredited-character
#woodring-room-background
8,676 12/19/2022 vase like base
deuce: CHECK OUT MY FLOPPY COCK: :WILTED_FLOWER: pants: PUTTING YOU IN A VASE pants: VASE LIKE BASE NOT VASE LIKE GAUSS pants: YOU ARE A LUCKY LITTLE BOY
#bored-pants
#cock
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#emoji
#flower
#gauss
#mountain-background
#somber-deuce
#vase
8,677 12/20/2022 scp
effigy: STOP CASTING POROSITY
#acronym
#effigy-solo
#urinal-background
8,678 12/21/2022 afternoon coffee
pants: MMM AFTERNOON COFFEE deuce: SELLING YOU INTO A SEX SLAVE RING
#bong
#clip-art
#coffee
#crime
#deuce-pants
#sex
#slavery
#weird-pants-face
#woodring-stairs-background
8,679 12/22/2022 simultaneously
pants: HOLD MY HAND WHILE I POO deuce: BUT YOU'RE SIMULTANEOUSLY JERKING OFF
#coy-pants
#gay
#jerking-off
#poo
#somber-deuce
#urinal-background
8,680 12/23/2022 old man problems
deuce: I JUST UNPACKED SOME BOXES OF NOODLE SOUP AND PUT THEM ON A HIGH SHELF AND NOW I'M WINDED AND DIZZY
#aging
#deuce-solo
#dizzy
#fatness
#sfw
#soup
#woodring-stairs-background
8,681 12/24/2022 the entire loaf
pants: I HAVE EATEN THE ENTIRE LOAF???????? ARE YOU SURE???????????? spigot: REAL BRAVE LIKING HITLER WHEN EVERYONE ELSE DOES TOO
#bread
#fatness
#hitler
#pants-spigot
#woodring-stairs-background
8,682 12/25/2022 christmas 2022
pants: T SPIGOT WEEDS HAVE GROWN IN MY TROUSERS pants: MAYBE YOU COULD REACH IN THERE AND TUG THEM OUT pants: MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM THE BONEQUEST BOYS hanford: WHERE'D THE GUY IN THE ALIEN SUIT GO
#atandt-bung-deuce-effigy-hanford-net-ozone-pants-s
#christmas
#christmas-tree-lights
#holiday
#mountain-background
8,683 12/26/2022 cross wise
pants: PASS THE HOOKA pants: COUGH COUGH COUGH NOW YOU PUT YOUR MOUTH ON IT deuce: BUT YOU HAVE HUGE OPEN SORES ON YOUR LIPS THAT ARE OOZING pants: LET'S RELAX, KICK BACK AND SUCK A FAT-ASS DICK deuce: CRAMMING IT CROSSWISE spigot: I DON'T LIKE ANY OF THESE AUTOMATED BEHAVIORS
#cramming
#deuce-pants-spigot
#dicksucking
#herpes
#hookah
#multicolor-background
8,684 12/27/2022 the stupidest time of year
spigot: IS IT REALLY ONCE AGAIN THE STUPIDEST TIME OF YEAR WHEN CAMWHORES WEAR SANTA HATS
#camwhores
#fashion
#holi-daze
#porn
#red-background
#santa-claus
#spigot-solo
#stupid
8,685 12/28/2022 a v a t a r d
spigot: ALL THE AVATAR CHARACTERS HAVE DOWN'S SYNDROME
#avatar
#blue-background
#movies
#retard
#sfw
#spigot-solo
8,686 12/29/2022 rooster crowing
deuce: THIS AIN'T VALHEIM: AN XXX PARODY pants: A ROOSTER CROWING EVERY TIME SOMEBODY JIZZES
#bedroom-of-pants-background
#coy-pants
#jizz
#pants-bedroom-background
#parody
#porn
#sound-effects
#valheim
#video-games
8,687 12/30/2022 would it be gay if
spigot: WOULD IT BE GAY IF I JUST DIED
#death
#gay
#gay-theory
#mountain-background
#question
#spigot-solo
8,688 12/31/2022 a great, great question
deuce: CAN I CHOP MY OWN DICK OFF OR DO I NEED SOMEONE ELSE TO DO IT pants: THAT'S A GREAT, GREAT QUESTION pants: I DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER pants: BUT I CAN FIND SOMEBODY WHO DOES pants: AND THEN I'LL GET BACK TO YOU deuce: WELL THEN LET'S GET ON A GOOGLE MEET AND CRY IT OUT pants: CONNECTING... pants: GOOGLE MEET HAS BEEN DEPRECATED deuce: [DICK PIC]
#bored-pants
#coy-pants
#crying
#deuce-dick
#deuce-pants
#dick
#dick-pics
#dismemberment
#drunk-deuce
#gay
#genital-mutilation
#google
#physical-comedy
#pink-background
#question
#somber-deuce
#tranny
#weird-pants-face

EPISODES: 2022

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