BONEQUEST perspective-dice-random ABOUT

EPISODES: 2024

No. Date   Title / Dialog Players Tags
9,054 1/1/2024 penis cage
spigot: DO YOU THINK MICHAEL FARADAY EVER LOCKED HIS PENIS IN ONE OF HIS OWN CAGES deuce: HIS PENIS WOULD THEN BE UNABLE TO SEND ELECTROMAGNETIC SIGNALS OUT spigot: ARE WE TO BELIEVE THAT'S WHAT HE EJACULATES
#deuce-spigot
#ejaculation
#gunmetal-background
#penis
#science
9,055 1/2/2024 it says deceased
spigot: PRESSING THE FLIPPER ZERO AGAINST MY PENIS
#apricot-background
#electronics
#flipper
#flipper-zero
#hacking
#no-title-card
#penis
#rfid
#spigot-solo
9,056 1/3/2024 listen what the man says
pants: THE FATTEST, THE GAYEST pants: THE FATTEST AND THE GAYEST pants: WHAT I'M SAYING IS
#fat
#gay
#gay-fatness
#pants-solo
#repetition
#urinal-background
9,057 1/4/2024 oh the places you'll go
pants: SUCKING DICK ON MONSTER ISLAND pants: SHORT TUGBOAT TRIP TO ISLE OF NABOOMBU FOR LUNCH (JUST LUNCH) pants: SUCKING DICK ON KONG ISLAND pants: JUST AN 18 HOUR PLANE RIDE TO THE ISLAND OF DOCTOR MOREAU TO SUCK SOME APE-MAN DICK pants: NOW I'M SUCKING DICK AT CLUB PENGUIN
#coy-pants
#dicksucking
#dr-seuss
#islands
#pants-solo
#science-fiction
#weird-pants-face
#yellow-background
9,058 1/5/2024 desert planet
deuce: WHAT'S CHRISTOPHER WALKEN DOING ON ARRAKIS (DESERT PLANET)
#celebrity
#corndog-background
#deuce-solo
#dune
#movies
#no-title-card
#science-fiction
#sfw
9,059 1/6/2024 ain't hurting nobody nohow
spigot: BEATING OFF DOESN'T HURT ANYONE AND IT'S GOOD FOR THE ENVIRONMENT
#environmentalism
#masturbation
#mountain-background
#no-title-card
#spigot-solo
9,060 1/7/2024 balls of one's own
spigot: DOING NEWTON'S CRADLE WITH MY OWN BALLS deuce: YOUR TESTICLES HAVE AN IMPRESSIVE COEFFICIENT OF RESTITUTION
#deuce-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#kinematics
#nuts-of-spigot
#physics
#science
#starbucks-background
9,061 1/8/2024 cow
pants: KNOCK KNOCK deuce: WHO'S THERE pants: INTERRUPTING COW deuce: INTERRUP pants: MMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO deuce: KNOCK KNOCK pants: WHO'S THERE deuce: EXTREMELY POLITE COW pants: EXTREMELY POLITE COW WHO deuce: MOO
#bored-pants
#concerned-deuce
#cows
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#knock-knock
#mountain-background
#sfw
#somber-deuce
#weird-coy-face
#wholesome
9,062 1/9/2024 that happened
pants: STEPHEN FRY IS ACTIVELY BATTLING PROSTATE CANCER deuce: WITH WHAT A BROOMSTICK
#broom
#cancer
#celebrity
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#lavender-background
#no-title-card
#sfw
#single-panel
#stephen-fry
9,063 1/10/2024 which one already
spigot: WHICH SOPRANOS CHARACTER ON SESAME STREET ARE YOU ??? :beep: BOOP BEEP BOOP BEEP BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP BOOP BEEP BOOP BOOP BEEP BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP BOOP BEEP BOOP CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK spigot: YOU ARE BADA BERT
#echinaceamagnus-background
#sesame-street
#sfw
#sfx
#spigot-solo
#the-sopranos
9,064 1/11/2024 sms
pants: SYMANTEC SHOULD HAVE NEVER HALTED ITS DISCOUNT PROGRAM WITH THE NATIONAL RIFLE ASSOCIATION pants: THAT REALLY ACTIVATED MY ALMONDS pants: PLEASE STAND BY WHILE I RECEIVE AN URGENT NOTIFICATION FROM THE SHORT MESSAGING SERVICE BEEP BOOP BOOP BEEP BOOP :text: IF YOU'RE STUCK IN A TOILET pants: ASLK;DJF
#funloving-nonsense
#gun
#nra
#pants-solo
#sfw
#sms
#symantec
#telephony
#toilet
#woodring-den-background
#y-n
9,065 1/12/2024 twelve steps
spigot: GOD spigot: GRANT ME THE SERENITY spigot: TO LICK THE DICKS I HAVEN'T LICKED spigot: THE COURAGE spigot: TO LICK THE DICKS I CAN spigot: AND THE WISDOM spigot: TO LICK TWO OR THREE MORE DICKS BEFORE BEDTIME spigot: WELL MY NAME IS SPIGOT AND I'M A BIG DUMB DICKLICKER spigot: I'VE BEEN LICKING DICK SINCE OH I DON'T KNOW spigot: THE START OF THIS MEETING spigot: AND I DEFINITELY COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT THE PROGRAM
#alcoholics-anonymous
#alcoholism
#dicklicking
#overlong
#serenity-prayer
#single-pose
#spigot-solo
#woodring-den-background
9,066 1/13/2024 inside man
spigot: WHY ARE HOT DOGS EIGHT TO A PACK WHEN MY ASS FITS TEN spigot: THEY SHOULD MAKE A BLACK VERSION OF DO THE RIGHT THING AND CALL IT DO THE RIGHT THANG spigot: I WILL TOO BRING A NAIL GUN TO THE MACY'S THANKSGIVING DAY PARADE
#anal-insertion
#ass
#bored-pants
#deuce-dick-ozone-pants-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#hot-dogs
#mousehole
#movies
#multiple-backgrounds
#parade
#physical-comedy
#spike-lee
#thanksgiving
9,067 1/14/2024 my babbit is died
pants: I WILL BE THE ASHLEY BABBIT OF OXYCONTIN deuce: DO I GET TO SHOOT YOU IN THE NECK pants: ONE FLOPPY TIT FALLS OUT
#ashli-babbitt
#current-events
#deuce-pants
#drugs
#drunk-deuce
#gun
#january-sixth
#mountain-background
#oxycontin
#tits
#typo
#violence
#vomit
9,068 1/15/2024 you know what you must do
spigot: SHOULD I HANG MYSELF IN THE DATA CENTER pants: THAT'S NOT WHAT THE DATA CENTER IS FOR
#cocksucking
#coy-pants
#datacenter
#datacenter-background
#innuendo
#no-title-card
#pants-spigot
#suicide
9,069 1/16/2024 sucking off the special investigators
pants: ACTUALLY **HER** NAME IS JACQUELINE REACHER NOW
#based
#huffy-pants
#jack-reacher
#no-title-card
#single-panel
#television
#trans
#urinal-background
9,070 1/17/2024 new shoes
spigot: CHECK OUT MY NEW KICKS!!! pants: THAT MEANS SHOES pants: ARE THOSE spigot: APPLE-CINNAMON BEAR CLAWS FROM HAPPY DONUTS
#disappointed-pants
#donut
#fed-up-pants
#modified-character
#mountain-background
#pants-spigot
#sfw
9,071 1/18/2024 three sensibly portioned penises
deuce: IF I COULD HAVE ANY KIND OF PENIS IT WOULD BE A SEVERED PENIS spigot: IN THAT CASE YOU COULD HAVE TWO OR THREE pants: T SPIGOT HE'S TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT spigot: THREE SENSIBLY PORTIONED PENISES 5 HOURS APART THROUGHOUT THE DAY AND THEN NO PENISES AFTER 6PM
#bored-pants
#concerned-deuce
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants-spigot
#diet
#fat
#genital-mutilation
#gunmetal-background
#modified-character
#penis
#physical-comedy
9,072 1/19/2024 a gentleman caller
spigot: HELLO pants: TAKING MOMMY'S STRAP IN YOUR FAT, GAY ASSHOLE spigot: WHO'S CALLING PLEASE pants: TAKING MOMMY'S STRAP IN YOUR FAT, GAY ASSHOLE spigot: I'M HANGING UP NOW
#anal
#black-background
#caption
#gay-fatness
#huffy-pants
#multiple-backgrounds
#pants-spigot
#pegging
#porn
#prank-call
#starbucks-background
#telephony
9,073 1/20/2024 happy new year
spigot: SPENDING 2024 ON THE TOILET
#constipation
#mousehole
#new-year
#no-title-card
#sfw
#spigot-solo
#toilet
#woodring-room-background
9,074 1/21/2024 mcnugget buddies
spigot: ARE WE AS A GROUP CLOSE TO COLLECTING ALL 6 MCNUGGET BUDDIES spigot: ASSUMING WE'RE ALL AWARE THEY CAN MIX AND MATCH CLOTHES, ACCESSORIES, HATS spigot: PLEASE TAKE A HANDOUT
#bored-pants
#deuce-pants-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#mcdonalds
#mcdonalds-background
#no-title-card
#sfw
#wholesome
9,075 1/22/2024 nobody's lovin' it
spigot: T PANTS DIDN'T SEE YOU AT THE MCNUGGET BUDDIES SCRUM deuce: HE WAS BANNED FROM THOSE IN 2021 FOR REASONS THEY ARE NOT LEGALLY ALLOWED TO DISCLOSE pants: I PUT THEM IN MY BOTTOM
#agile
#anal-insertion
#deuce-pants-spigot
#mcdonalds
#red-background
#yellow-background
9,076 1/23/2024 nuts to that
pants: ERSTWHILE deuce: HERETOFORE pants: GASSY deuce: EBULLIENT spigot: HOMPH HOMPH HOW MANY FRIES AM I HOLDING UP
#deuce-pants-spigot
#farts
#fries
#gassy
#huffy-pants
#red-background
#yellow-background
9,077 1/24/2024 operation dinner out
pants: OPERATION DINNER OUT IS A GO deuce: COPY THAT, FATTY ACTUAL
#deuce-pants
#fatness
#minecraft-background
#sfw
9,078 1/25/2024 words
spigot: CHAD FAMILY ANNIHILATOR pants: VIRGIN WEEKEND DAD
#divorce
#memes
#mountain-background
#no-title-card
#pants-spigot
#single-panel
9,079 1/26/2024 hey hey / ho ho / non-gmo balls have got to go
deuce: MY BALLS ARE NON-GMO deuce: (LEANS CLOSER TO MIC) I SAID MY BALLS ARE NON-GMO
#balls
#deuce-solo
#deuces-balls
#gmo
#no-title-card
#nuts-of-deuce
#woodring-stairs-background
9,080 1/27/2024 burner
spigot: I USE A BURNER HAM RADIO SO NOBODY FINDS OUT I HELP ELDERLY OPERATORS UP THE STAIRS TO PANCAKE BREAKFASTS AT THE OAKS SHOPPING CENTER
#bay-area
#breakfast
#ham-radio
#mountain-background
#no-title-card
#pancakes
#sfw
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#wholesome
9,081 1/28/2024 doctors hate this one trick
spigot: SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR PENIS IF YOU LIVE IN THESE THREE ZIPCODES
#clickbait
#mail
#no-title-card
#penis
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#urinal-background
#zipcode
9,082 1/29/2024 america / america
spigot: I HAVE THE SQUIRTS AND STILL NO GARLIC BREAD
#diarrhea
#garlic-bread
#no-title-card
#olive-garden
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#starbucks-background
9,083 1/30/2024 beep boop boop
spigot: I PUT SCALLOPED POTATOES IN THE DISK DRIVE
#food
#mountain-background
#no-title-card
#potato
#sfw
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#tech-support
9,084 1/31/2024 keepin' clean
deuce: I'M KEEPIN' CLEAN IN THE ANTHROPOCENE
#anthropocene
#deuce-solo
#hygiene
#no-title-card
#primrose-background
#red-background
#rhyming
#sfw
#single-panel
#wholesome
9,085 2/1/2024 new year's resolutions
spigot: IF YOU WERE SERIOUS ABOUT LOSING WEIGHT YOU'D KEEP SUCKING
#diet
#high-res
#mountain-background
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
9,086 2/2/2024 old
deuce: WELL I SURE SLEPT LIKE SHIT dick: AND I DIDN'T POOP VERY WELL pants: WHAT deuce: RIOTING dick: NO TOO TIRED, HAVE TO NAP deuce: JEALOUS pants: WHAT pants: HOLD ON MY HEARING AID IS OFF pants: SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE pants: MAYBE JUST WRITE DOWN YOUR REQUEST AND BURY IT IN THE FOREST
#aging
#deafness
#deuce-dick-pants
#mountain-background
#naps
#no-title-card
#poop
#sleep
9,087 2/3/2024 the great replacement theory
pants: THE GREAT REPLACEMENT THEORY IS WHERE OVER TIME THE EMPTY SPACE IN YOUR MOUTH BECOMES OCCUPIED BY MY COCK
#cock
#conspiracy
#mouth
#no-title-card
#psychosis-background
#single-panel
#swamp-background
9,088 2/4/2024 physical, digital
spigot: DID YOU ALL GET MY DICKLICKING LOYALTY VOUCHERS
#bored-pants
#deuce-pants-spigot
#dicklicking
#grey-background
#marketing
#no-title-card
#single-panel
9,089 2/5/2024 gardening livestream
pants: I NOTICE NONE OF YOU EVEN BOTHERED TO TUNE INTO MY GARDENING LIVESTREAM pants: I DON'T KNOW WHY I BOTHER pants: BOTH OF YOU MISSED OUT ON THE PLANTING OF THE ORANGE HAT TOMATO PLANT spigot: OH THAT WAS TODAY deuce: I WAS BUSY WASHING MY HAIR spigot: NO I WAS THERE JUST IN THE BACK
#bored-pants
#deuce-pants-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#echinaceamagnus-background
#excuses
#friendship
#gardening
#huffy-pants
#hygiene
#lies
#livestream
#modified-character
#sfw
#somber-deuce
#tomato
#twitch
9,090 2/6/2024 gardening
pants: T SPIGOT IS IT TOO EARLY TO PLANT MY BULBS spigot: YOU MEAN LIKE ON MY FACE
#gardening
#mountain-background
#no-title-card
#pants-spigot
#single-panel
9,091 2/7/2024 excuse me
spigot: EXCUSE ME EXCUSE ME EXCUSE ME BEHIND YOU HOT LASAGNA HERE
#burns
#food
#lasagna
#no-title-card
#sfw
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#urinal-background
9,092 2/8/2024 sweat pants
pants: IT'S THAT TIME OF THE MORNING WHERE I START TO THINK ABOUT SWITCHING FROM A BATHROBE TO SWEATS
#bathrobe-of-pants
#fashion
#gunmetal-background
#no-title-card
#pants-solo
#sfw
#single-panel
9,093 2/9/2024 how we do it
pants: WHY DOESN'T BONEQUEST HAVE A PODCAST OR A PONZI SCHEME spigot: THIS / IS HOW / WE DO / IT / FREEZES TO DEATH IN A TENT
#boy-scouts
#montell-jordan
#no-title-card
#pants-spigot
#podcast
#scam
#sfw
#singing
#woodring-stairs-background
9,094 2/10/2024 fruit fly
spigot: WHAT'S THE POINT OF WHIPPING OUT MY HAND WITH LIGHTNING FAST CAT-LIKE REFLEXES TO GRAB AND SQUEEZE A FRUITFLY IF WHEN I OPEN MY HAND IT FLAPS OUT UNHARMED INTO MY FAT STUPID FACE
#existential
#fat-face
#flap
#no-title-card
#sfw
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#woodring-field-background
9,095 2/11/2024 double shifts
pants: DOUBLE SHIFTS AT THE DICKLICKING FACTORY pants: JUST SO I CAN WORK WEEKENDS AT THE CRINGE PLANT
#cringe
#dicklicking
#pants-solo
#woodring-room-background
#work
9,096 2/12/2024 way past
pants: WAY WAY WAY WAY PAST BI-CURIOUS AND RIGHT ON DOWN THE ROAD TO HANGING AROUND THE OLD BARN
#bi-curious
#bisexual
#no-title-card
#pants-solo
#single-panel
#woodring-stairs-background
9,097 2/13/2024 twice in succession
spigot: ROUGHLY TEN MILLION CALORIES PER DAY spigot: HE SUCKS THE SAME DICK TWICE IN SUCCESSION YET PRODUCES TWO CLEARLY DIFFERENT TONES deuce: THE VERY DEFINITION OF INSANITY
#apricot-background
#deuce-spigot
#dick
#dicksucking
#fat
#insanity
#simpsons
9,098 2/14/2024 barely used
spigot: A MURDER AT THE END OF MY PATIENCE pants: FOUND: PLUMPERS PASS, ON SIDE OF ROAD, LEFT WITH LOCAL PD spigot: DO WE KNOW HOW MANY PLUMPER POINTS ARE ON IT
#eggshell-background
#murder
#pants-spigot
#plumper-pass
#plumpers
9,099 2/15/2024 twink endgame
spigot: DO I REALLY WANT TO DEFEND MYSELF USING THE WORD TWINK pants: YOUR TWINK DAYS ENDED IN 1995 pants: I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO TWINKS AFTER THEY GRADUATE pants: I GUESS THEY GET PHDS
#blue-background
#college
#gay-theory
#pants-spigot
#sfw
#spats-colored-background
#twink-death
9,100 2/16/2024 lviii
pants: IT'S SUPERBOWL SUNDAY !!! deuce: I'M AWARE spigot: ARE YOU FOLKS WATCHING THE YOUNG SHELDON MARATHON ON PARAMOUNT PLUS effigy: FUCK KANSAS CITY pants: WHERE'S JIMMY G pants: FUCK KANSAS CITY deuce: IS THAT A REAL PLACE spigot: HOLY SHIT YOUNG SHELDON JUST ORDERED A SECOND DESSERT effigy: THEY'RE NOT BOOING THEY'RE SHOUTING JUSZCZYK pants: WHERE'S TAYLOR spigot: THEY JUST FOUND YOUNG SHELDON'S BODY
#49ers
#blue-background
#corpse
#football
#juszczyk
#kansas-city
#multiple-backgrounds
#orange-background
#red-background
#superbowl
#taylor-swift
#television
#young-sheldon
9,101 2/17/2024 alert
spigot: IF YOUR PENIS IS CIRCUMCISED WE RESPECTFULLY ASK THAT YOU USE THE :BANANA: EMOJI
#circumcision
#emoji
#mauve-background
#no-title-card
#penis
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
9,102 2/18/2024 what the hell is a
spigot: HOW COME WHEN I SUCK DICK IT SOUNDS LIKE A DOT MATRIX PRINTER
#beatboxing
#dicksucking
#no-title-card
#printer
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#woodring-room-background
9,103 2/19/2024 hot
pants: MY STARBUCKS LID BROKE deuce: STRETCH YOUR BALL SACK AROUND THE TOP AND SECURE IT WITH A RUBBER BAND pants: CAN I STILL BIKE TO WORK pants: OKAY YOU'RE GONE pants: HOT pants: HOT pants: HOT pants: HOT pants: HOT pants: HOT pants: NOW I NEED ICED COFFEE
#balls
#bicycle
#coffee
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#fed-up-pants
#genital-mutilation
#hot
#huffy-pants
#modified-character
#mountain-background
#no-title-card
#nuts-of-pants
#rubber-band
#starbucks
#work
9,104 2/20/2024 short bussin'
spigot: I'M THE **COOL** MATH TEACHER WHO DROPS THE REQUIRED TEXTBOOK IN THE TRASH CAN AND PULLS OUT HIS PENIS INSTEAD deuce: YOUR PENIS HAS MEASURE ZERO spigot: DELETE THIS
#delete-this
#deuce-spigot
#insult
#math
#mountain-background
#penis
#school
9,105 2/21/2024 w-wait
spigot: EXCITED FOR MORE TRUE DETECTIVE: SNOOZE COUNTRY FEATURING MUSIC BY DOG SHIT pants: W-WAIT WHERE'S TONY AND SIL AND CHRISTOPHER deuce: A-A-AND CARMELLA???
#deuce-pants-spigot
#dogshit
#huffy-pants
#mountain-background
#television
#the-sopranos
#true-detective
9,106 2/22/2024 thru & true
spigot: CALLING THE FCC AND MY LOCAL CBS AFFILIATE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT ARCHIE BUNKER FLUSHING THE TOILET 53 YEARS AGO spigot: ACTUALLY spigot: I CAN'T DECIDE IF THAT'S ABOVE MY PAY GRADE OR BELOW MY GAY PARADE
#minecraft-background
#sfw
#spigot-solo
#television
9,107 2/23/2024 not funny
spigot: I'M JUST NOT SURE I'D TRUST A RAPE TEST KIT FROM TEMU
#china
#e-commerce
#potomac-background
#rapekit
#spigot-solo
#temu
9,108 2/24/2024 what that word means
deuce: ADULTERATE ME deuce: WAIT, DON'T DO THAT deuce: I JUST LOOKED UP WHAT THAT WORD MEANS deuce: I THOUGHT IT MEANT SOMETHING ELSE deuce: SOMETHING BETTER pants: MMM LET ME TRY
#adulterate-me
#definitions
#deuce-pants
#low-res
#woodring-stairs-background
9,109 2/25/2024 be a good catholic for 15 fucking minutes
spigot: T DEUCE I SAW YOUR POST ON REDDIT RE: HOW TOM BYRON'S CUMBACK PUSSY IS MORE LIKE TOM BYRON'S SENDBACK PUSSY deuce: FABRICATIONS deuce: SHENANIGANS deuce: SLANDER spigot: IF YOU LIKE LADIES, YOU'LL LOVE WHEN I LADIES NUTS ON YOUR FAT STUPID FACE pants: WHAT KIND OF ANIMAL SMOKES MARIJUANA AT HIS OWN CONFIRMATION
#christianity
#confirmation
#deuce-pants-spigot
#eggshell-background
#marijuana
#no-title-card
#nuts-of-spigot
#porn
#reddit
#seven-sacraments
#somber-deuce
#spigot-shrug
#the-sopranos
#tom-byron
9,110 2/26/2024 don't you know i'm in love
spigot: GETTING IN MY 10,000 DICKS EACH DAY spigot: 🎶 UP / TOWN / FRUITS spigot: I'LL MAKE A MESS OF ALL YOUR BUSINESS / SUITS 🎵 spigot: 🎶 I'M DROPPIN' LOOTS
#billy-joel
#custom-background
#dicks
#exercise
#no-title-card
#psychosis-background
#red-background
#singing
#spigot-solo
9,111 2/27/2024 mice tumbling around the field
deuce: CHOKE ME OUT pants: I'M TRYING BUT pants: EXHAUSTED FROM ALL THE POKING (BUT I COULD CHOKE A LITTLE MORE, I DUNNO) deuce: ARE YOU DEAD YET pants: I'M A MOUSE TUMBLING AROUND THE FIELD
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#huffy-pants
#no-title-card
#physical-comedy
#poking-and-choking
#woodring-field-background
9,112 2/28/2024 plans change sometimes
pants: BARF ON MY WEIRD LITTLE BONER pants: DON'T MAKE ME BEG pants: ACTUALLY, NEVER THE MIND I MANAGED TO WORK SOMETHING OUT
#barf
#boner
#coy-pants
#pants-solo
#psychosis-background
#roman-shower
#swamp-background
#vomit
9,113 2/29/2024 you know what to do
pants: AVENGE NEX
#current-events
#mountain-background
#no-title-card
#pants-solo
9,114 3/1/2024 the share wife zone
pants: ALSO AVENGE JANE MOON AND FUCK DREWTOOTHPASTE pants: WHAT IS IT WITH THE STRAIGHTS LATELY pants: DON'T THEY HAVE ENOUGH TO DO
#current-events
#mountain-background
#pants-solo
#straight
9,115 3/2/2024 cold rock a deuce
effigy: RAPPER MC LYTE FILES FOR DIVORCE AFTER 3 YEARS OF MARRIAGE deuce: MY TIME TO SHINE deuce: AND SHE MET HER LAST HUSBAND ON MATCH.COM deuce: I KNOW WHAT TO DO deuce: I GOT THIS deuce: CLICKS GRINDR
#celebrity
#dating
#deuce-effigy
#deuce-likes-black-chicks
#divorce
#gay
#grindr
#gunmetal-background
#no-title-card
#rap
#somber-deuce
#waiting-for-cyberpunk
9,116 3/3/2024 her and her friend
spigot: THERE'S A WOMAN IN THE LOBBY WHO SAYS YOU OWE HER AND HER FRIEND $600 EACH pants: CAN I DOUBLE DOWN spigot: (WHISPERING) ONE OF THEM LOOKS LIKE A SIR pants: WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA spigot: S-SOMEONE MIGHT BE SLIPPIN' JIMMYING YOU pants: OKAY SO pants: THEY MAY HAVE A BUSINESS CASE ABOUT WHY I OWE THEM A PAYMENT
#based
#better-call-saul
#better-call-spigot
#blackmail
#bored-pants
#business
#comprehensively-tagged
#coy-pants
#disappointed-pants
#gay
#how-i-met-your-mother-tier-humor
#huffy-pants
#law
#legal
#mildly-angry-pants
#prostitutes
#slippin-jimmy
#transgender
#whispering
#woodring-room-background
9,117 3/4/2024 deny deny deny
deuce: T PANTS REMEMBER WHEN RIKER WANTED TO FUCK A HOLOGRAM BUT JUST ENDED UP FUCKING ME MORE IN THE ASS pants: T DEUCE I DO NOT REMEMBER
#anal
#deuce-pants
#future-imperfect
#gay
#holodeck
#mars-background
#minuet
#no-title-card
#single-panel
#star-trek
9,118 3/5/2024 back to mine
deuce: ADULTERATE ME (NOT THIS AGAIN) pants: NO NO GO AHEAD pants: LOOSENING SWEATS
#adulterate-me
#deuce-pants
#gunmetal-background
#promising
#sweatpants
9,119 3/6/2024 tomorrow's modern penises
spigot: DO WE ALL AGREE THAT IT'S PROBABLY BEDTIME pants: GATHER ROUND AND WATCH ME BEAT OFF spigot: I HAD DIAREAR LAST MONTH pants: GET OFFA ME spigot: GETTING A JUMP ON TOMORROW'S PENISES
#beat-off
#beating-off
#bed
#diarrhea
#exhibitionism
#get-offa-me
#mountain-background
#pants-spigot
#penis
#typo
#weird-pants-face
9,120 3/7/2024 allow cookies
spigot: CLICK HERE TO OPT OUT OF CHOPPING YOUR DICK OFF spigot: GUESS I SHOULDA READ THAT
#click-here
#eula
#genital-mutilation
#no-title-card
#ominous
#spigot-solo
#trans
#woodring-field-background
9,121 3/8/2024 the birthday boy or girl
pants: T SPIGOT YOUR BIRTHDAY'S COMING UP AND spigot: I DON'T CARE FOR ANYTHING REPRESENTED IN REAL LIFE OR IN CYBER-SPACE
#birthday
#cyberspace
#high-res
#mountain-background
#no-title-card
#old
#sfw
9,122 3/9/2024 work the refs
pants: PUT ME IN THE CORNER pants: THEN DING THE BELL AND I'LL COME OUT FIGHTING deuce: BUT YOU'LL NEVER LEARN YOUR LESSON pants: YOU STICK TO WORKING THE REFS AND I'LL SLOWLY LEVEL UP MY BRAIN DAMAGE deuce: YOU DON'T DING A BELL YOU RING THE BELL BUT THE BELL DOES IN FACT GO DING pants: CAN'T YOU GO ANY FASTER deuce: DING pants: AHLGALGHALG HLUAHGLUAHGLUAH LUGHLAGHNLAG
#bell
#boxing
#deuce-pants
#gunmetal-background
#huffy-pants
#sfw
9,123 3/10/2024 first panel angry
pants: I APPEAR TO HAVE TORN MY STOCKINGS deuce: I CHIPPED A NAIL, NOW I CAN'T GO TO THE PROM pants: BUT WE CAN GO TO THE MALL TOGETHER!!!!!! HUNTING FOR BOYS AND SBARRO
#angry-panel
#bored-pants
#boys
#drunk-deuce
#fat
#friendship
#girls
#huffy-pants
#mall
#mountain-background
#pizza
#prom
#sbarro
9,124 3/11/2024 express lane
pants: THE EXPRESS LANE TO MY BALLS: pants: TAKE IT pants: IGUANAS SNAKES RACCOONS POSSUMS BEES DUCKS pants: ONE OF THOSE DOESN'T BELONG IN THAT LIST
#animals
#balls
#bee
#bees
#coy-pants
#duck
#no-title-card
#nuts-of-pants
#pants-solo
#snake
#still-hurts
#woodring-stairs-background
9,125 3/12/2024 around the world
spigot: CANCER STICKS pants: NANCY BOOTS deuce: TAYLOR SWIFT TAYLOR SWIFT TAYLOR SWIFT TAYLOR SWIFT TAYLOR SWIFT TAYLOR SWIFT TAYLOR SWIFT TAYLOR SWIFT TAYLOR SWIFT TAYLOR SWIFT TAYLOR SWIFT TAYLOR SWIFT TAYLOR SWIFT TAYLOR SWIFT TAYLOR SWIFT
#cancer
#cigarette
#custom-background
#fixation
#green-background
#huffy-pants
#sfw
#taylor-swift
9,126 3/13/2024 retirement party
spigot: ALL I KNOW IS ONCE I RETIRE I'LL HAVE TO GROW MY OWN CORN DOGS
#corndog-background
#corndogs
#gmo
#no-title-card
#retirement
#sfw
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
9,127 3/14/2024 missed
deuce: GUYS WE MISSED ADA LOVELACE DAY
#ada-lovelace
#childhood-memories
#deuce-pants-spigot
#holiday
#programming
#sfw
#static-background
#wholesome
9,128 3/15/2024 not once
spigot: YOU KNOW I JUST REALIZED I'VE BEEN SITTING HERE FOR THREE HOURS AND NOT ONCE HAVE I ASKED _HOW_ MY WIFE AND CHILDREN WERE MURDERED spigot: YES I WOULD LIKE MORE WATER
#colored-text
#murder
#no-title-card
#spigot-solo
#wife
#woodring-room-background
9,129 3/16/2024 brave fighters
pants: THIS UNLICKED DICK IS DEDICATED TO THE BRAVE MUJAHIDEEN FIGHTERS OF AFGHANISTAN pants: HALGUHALUGHUALGHLHULAGAG pants: GHLAUHGLAHLAUGHAG pants: BGAULGHBLAHGLHAGLAG
#afghanistan
#dicklicking
#dicklicking-noises
#mountain-background
#no-title-card
#pants-solo
#rambo
#unlicked-dicks
9,130 3/17/2024 uncertain times
spigot: MY PENIS IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY HELLO FRESH effigy: I AM STILL SPONSORED BY SQUARESPACE
#advertising
#effigy-spigot
#hello-fresh
#no-title-card
#orange-background
#penis-of-spigot
#podcast
#single-panel
#sponsorship
#squarespace
9,131 3/18/2024 as you so delicately put it
pants: I WOULD LIKE TO "CHOKE THAT SHIT ON DOWN" AS YOU PUT IT pants: FORCE ME TO PLAY IT LIKE A FLUTE
#choking
#coy-pants
#fellatio
#flute
#gay
#music
#no-title-card
#pants-solo
#woodring-stairs-background
9,132 3/19/2024 here's the thing
spigot: BUT HERE'S THE THING, FOLKS: CHANDLER HALDERSON NEVER HAD PENIS REDUCTION SURGERY spigot: HE NEVER WENT TO THE MOON spigot: HE NEVER BUILT A TIME MACHINE AND CLONED ADOLF HITLER spigot: THOSE WERE ALL LIES
#hitler
#lies
#moon
#murderer
#no-title-card
#penis
#spigot-solo
#time-travel
#woodring-stairs-background
9,133 3/20/2024 falling over
pants: TRYING TO SCRATCH MY EAR WITH MY BACK FOOT, FALLING OVER deuce: [STAR TREK RED ALERT SOUND]
#deuce-pants
#dog
#physical-comedy
#sfw
#sfx
#star-trek
#urinal-background
#wholesome
9,134 3/21/2024 tips go here
pants: IS IT TOO LATE FOR FILM SCHOOL I HAVE THIS IDEA FOR A SCRIPT WHERE (YOU HAVE STOPPED LISTENING TO ME) pants: SHOULD I GIVE INTO DESPAIR OR JUST SIMPLY BEAT OFF WHILE ADDRESSING THE AUDIENCE ON CAMERA pants: AHEM DID YOU EVEN NOTICE THE TIP JAR pants: TAP TAP TAP
#beating-off
#coy-pants
#education
#film
#gratuity
#hollywood
#iris-was-here
#no-title-card
#pants-solo
#trigger-warning
#woodring-field-background
9,135 3/22/2024 lo-fi
spigot: LICK MY DICK TO THESE LO-FI BEATS
#dick
#dicklicking
#lofi-background
#lofi-beatnik
#music
#no-title-card
#penis-of-spigot
#spigot-solo
#vaporwave
#youtube
9,136 3/23/2024 let god sort them out
spigot: :HELICOPTER: spigot: :BOOM: spigot: :MILITARY_HELMET: spigot: WHEN I DIE, BURY ME UPSIDE DOWN SO THE WORLD CAN FUCK ME MORE IN THE ASS
#anal
#burial
#death
#emoji
#green-background
#necrophilia
#never-forget
#no-title-card
#olive-drab-background
#spigot-solo
#war
9,137 3/24/2024 shouting
pants: THIS COMMITTEE OWES AN APOLOGY TO MICHAEL CORLEONE
#no-title-card
#orange-background
#pants-solo
#sfw
#single-panel
#the-godfather
9,138 3/25/2024 it's not about the money
deuce: I THINK YOU HAVE A PURDY MOUTH spigot: DELETE THIS deuce: SHUT
#batman
#delete-this
#deliverance
#deuce-spigot
#mountain-background
#shut
9,139 3/26/2024 world's greatest
spigot: I HAVE THE WORLD'S GREATEST DRAFTS FOLDER I'M JUST OPENING IT UP TO PAID SUBSCRIBERS spigot: FLOATING UP TO HEAVEN TO BE WITH HITLER spigot: THEORETICALLY COULD A PERSON GET CANCELLED IF THERE WERE A VIDEO OF HIM (OR HER) DOING THE BARTMAN
#blue-background
#heaven
#hitler
#multiple-backgrounds
#red-background
#simpsons
#spigot-solo
9,140 3/27/2024 free
pants: LET US REMIND OURSELVES THAT WE ARE IN GOD'S PRESENCE
#four-cubits
#god
#mountain-background
#no-title-card
#pants-solo
#religion
#sfw
#single-panel
9,141 3/28/2024 theme from bonequest
spigot: ARE YOU PUMPING YOUR PATHETIC PENIS FOR THESE GOLDEN BROWN CRINKLE CUT ORE-IDA FRENCH FRIES spigot: OKAY I SENSE AD PLACEMENT spigot: AM I READY TO SHOOT MY LOAD INTO WHAT KIND OF REVERSE MORTGAGE NOW spigot: PLEASE STAY ON TOPIC deuce: BUY GOLD
#advertising
#deuce-spigot
#fries
#off-topic
#product-placement
#semen
#woodring-stairs-background
9,142 3/29/2024 delete this
spigot: NONE OF YOU SEEM TO UNDERSTAND spigot: I'M NOT LOCKED IN HERE WITH YOU spigot: YOU'RE LOCKED UP IN HERE WITH ME AND STOUFFER'S FAMILY STYLE LASAGNA AVAILABLE IN YOUR GROCER'S FREEZER
#delete-this
#mars-background
#product-placement
#spigot-solo
#watchmen
9,143 3/30/2024 blessed be
spigot: I KNOW MY MIC IS ON FUCK YOU (TINKLE SOUNDS)
#fuck-you
#meeting
#no-title-card
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#tinkle
#videoconferencing
#woodring-stairs-background
#zoom
9,144 3/31/2024 murderous urges, also a little horny
deuce: ANY POST ON LINKEDIN CONSISTING OF SOMEONE HOLDING UP A WHITEBOARD/WHITE PLACARD WITH WRITING ON IT MAKES ME FEEL SORRY FOR THEM AND ALSO MAKES ME WANT TO MURDER THEM
#deuce-solo
#linkedin
#murder
#single-panel
#white-background
9,145 4/1/2024 top- quality tinkle
deuce: ONLY THE BEST PISS deuce: THE FINEST URINE deuce: THE MOST ELEGANT WEE
#deuce-solo
#piss
#somber-deuce
#superlatives
#tinkle
#urine
#wee
#yellow-background
9,146 4/2/2024 handjob runbook
spigot: DID OUR BUSINESS LICENSE EXPIRE OR CAN I STILL WALK AROUND WITH A TRAY OF BONEQUEST STICKERS LIKE A CIGARETTE GIRL pants: DO YOU EVEN FIT INTO YOUR COCKTAIL DRESS
#bonequest
#coco-chanel
#no-title-card
#pants-spigot
#woodring-stairs-background
9,147 4/3/2024 the hell is a meter
effigy: ARE WE SO CONFIDENT IN OUR MEASUREMENTS THAT WE _KNOW_ DARK MATTER IS REAL? spigot: ARE YOU MEASURING FAIRLY OR STARTING AT THE BALLS
#balls
#brown-text
#cosmos
#dick-measuring
#effigy-spigot
#gunmetal-background
#single-panel
9,148 4/4/2024 bottoms up
spigot: DO U DARE ME TO SUCK MY OWN DICK spigot: I KINDA NEEDA YES/NO
#autofellatio
#black-white
#dare
#ghetto-u
#no-title-card
#spigot-solo
#woodring-stairs-background
#y-n
9,149 4/5/2024 sad and lazy
spigot: I'M SAD THAT I'M DRINKING MY LAST GUINNESS spigot: AND I'M SAD THAT I'M TOO LAZY TO GET MORE GUINNESS spigot: BUT HOW GRATEFUL AM I THAT DEUCE IS ON HIS WAY TO MY HOUSE IN A SELF-DRIVING CAR TO DELIVER MORE GUINNESS AND THEN HOPEFULLY LEAVE IMMEDIATELY pants: DEUCEDASH
#alcohol
#beer
#car
#deucedash
#doordash
#guinness
#neologisms
#pants-spigot
#sfw
#third-person
#woodring-field-background
9,150 4/6/2024 vote for me
pants: FORCE ME TO DRINK FROM THE URINAL deuce: FOLD, SPIN AND/OR MUTILATE ME pants: THE UNITED STATES POSTAL SERVICE TAKES A DIM VIEW OF YOUR COMMANDS
#blue-background
#bored-pants
#deuce-pants
#mutilation
#somber-deuce
#urinal
#urolagnia
#usps
#voting
9,151 4/7/2024 bunnyhole
effigy: TODAY AIN'T SATURDAY pants: SO IT'S SUNDAY THEN?? effigy: DUNNO. JUST WOKE UP BECAUSE MY RABBIT HOLE IS FULL OF WATER pants: YA GOTTA DIG AT AN ANGLE AT THE START effigy: SHIT
#effigy-pants
#eggshell-background
#hole-problems
#rabbit
9,152 4/8/2024 if indeed
spigot: DON'T BRING MORE FROZEN CORN DOGS INTO THE HOUSE UNTIL I'VE SAT ON THE EXISTING ONES pants: ARE YOU A COP pants: IF YOU ARE, YOU HAVE TO LICK MY DICK
#anal-insertion
#bored-pants
#cop
#corn-dog
#corndog-background
#coy-pants
#dick
#dicklicking
#fat
#machino-henmaru
#mango-background
#no-title-card
#pants-spigot
9,153 4/9/2024 the biggest of all sirs
pants: BEAT ME OFF AT THE HENRY MILLER MEMORIAL LIBRARY
#beating-off
#brown-background
#henry-miller
#library
#no-title-card
#pants-solo
#single-panel
9,154 4/10/2024 you will never be president at this rate
spigot: TIME FOR MY 10AM PINT OF ICE CREAM FOLLOWED BY MY 10:30 PINT AND THEN I THINK I'M DUE FOR A PINT AT 11 effigy: TOTES BULK UP BRO spigot: CHRIST JESUS I'M LATE FOR MY 11:30 PINT effigy: FOCUS!
#christ-jesus
#effigy-spigot
#fatness
#gluttony
#ice-cream
#mountain-background
#no-title-card
9,155 4/11/2024 a totally different dick
pants: AND THEN A DIFFERENT DICK (A TOTALLY DIFFERENT DICK THAN THE ONE BEFORE)
#dicks
#grey-background
#pants-solo
#single-panel
9,156 4/12/2024 and then he died
deuce: HEY EVERYBODY WHAT'S UP
#death
#death-and-return-of-deuce
#deuce-solo
#erection
#modified-character
#mountain-background
#pun
#sfw
9,157 4/13/2024 thres hold
deuce: T PANTS THIS IS THE EPISODE WHERE TOM PARIS CROSSES WARP 10 AND TURNS INTO A SMALL AMPHIBIAN AND KIDNAPS JANEWAY, TURNS HER INTO AN AMPHIBIAN TOO, AND TRIES TO FLEE AND KNOCKS HER UP AND THEY HAVE BABIES pants: AH YES THE FROG RAPE EPISODE deuce: RIGHT, THE FROG RAPE EPISODE
#black-background
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#frog
#nostalgia
#pregnancy
#rape
#science-fiction
#star-trek
#star-trek-voyager
9,158 4/14/2024 fart watch
:first: ANGRY BUT NOT FOR LONG YOU'LL SEE pants: FART CONDITIONS OVERNIGHT: BURSTY pants: UPGRADED TO SCATTERED deuce: LET US KNOW IF WE GET TO SPOTTY BECAUSE THEN IT'S A REAL MESS
#a-love-story
#accuweather
#angry-panel
#caption
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#farts
#forecast
#huffy-pants
#simeticon-loperamide
#sleep
#squirt
#weather
#woodring-stairs-background
9,159 4/15/2024 countdown to burger
pants: CHANGES ARE IN THE WIND FOR FULL-SIZE LUXURY AUTOMOBILE OWNERS
#advertising
#cars
#gunmetal-background
#no-title-card
#ominous
#pants-solo
#prophecy
#sfw
#single-panel
9,160 4/16/2024 the ol' ass-end-first trick
spigot: ICED LEMON POUNDCAKES FROM STARBUCKS ARE BEST STRAIGHT FROM THE BAG BUT THEY NEED TO PUT THEM IN THE RIGHT WAY deuce: NAMELY, ASS-FIRST
#deuce-spigot
#food
#starbucks
#starbucks-background
9,161 4/17/2024 stolen valor
spigot: I SERVED AT FORT FART deuce: LET'S SEE YOUR DD214 spigot: IT'S UH spigot: HERE IT IS: :HAMBURGER:
#army
#camouflage-background
#cheeseburgers
#deuce-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#emoji
#farts
#fatness
#military
#no-title-card
#somber-deuce
9,162 4/18/2024 human resources
spigot: WHEN WOMEN THREATEN TO CALL HR I SAY PUFNSTUF????????? AND THEY FORGET ABOUT THE GROPES CAUSE NOW THEY SOUND DUMB
#groping
#hr
#mountain-background
#no-title-card
#sid-and-marty-krofft
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
9,163 4/19/2024 any minute now
pants: PISSING 33% COMPLETE pants: PISSING 66% COMPLETE pants: PISSING 99% COMPLETE pants: PISSING 99% COMPLETE pants: PISSING 99% COMPLETE pants: PISSING 99% COMPLETE pants: PISSING 99% COMPLETE pants: PISSING 99% COMPLETE pants: PISSING 99% COMPLETE pants: PISSING 99% COMPLETE pants: PISSING 99% COMPLETE deuce: SOME LEAKED
#bored-pants
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#math
#piss
#pissing
#yellow-background
9,164 4/20/2024 put baby in mimic mouth
pants: PUT BABY IN MIMIC MOUTH PUT BABY IN MIMIC MOUTH
#dungeons-and-dragons
#meme
#minecraft-background
#monster-manual
#mouth
#no-title-card
#pants-solo
#repetition
#sfw
#single-panel
9,165 4/21/2024 of all places
pants: SUCKING DICK IN THE TOMB OF JESUS
#christ-jesus
#dick
#dicksucking
#gay
#jesus
#mary-magdalene
#no-title-card
#pants-solo
#religion
#single-panel
#urinal-background
9,166 4/22/2024 cookies, cakes and pies
pants: WHAT IF INSTEAD OF A 3 BODY PROBLEM IT WAS A 900 PENIS PROBLEM AND THEN INSTEAD OF 900 PENISES IT WAS A COOKIES, CAKES AND PIES PROBLEM AND WE HAD OUR OWN NETFLIX SHOW CALLED COOKIES, PIES AND CAKES AND IT WASN'T A PROBLEM AT ALL pants: COOKIES, CAKES AND PIES RENEWED FOR SECOND SEASON, CORBIN BERNSEN TO JOIN CAST AS REGULAR
#cake
#cookies
#coy-pants
#food
#gluttony
#la-law
#mountain-background
#netflix
#pants-solo
#penis
#pie
#television
9,167 4/23/2024 sids
deuce: SUDDEN INFANT DIARRHEA SYNDROME spigot: ASKING YOU POLITELY TO LOOK FOR WORMSIGN
#acronym
#anal-birth
#baby
#corndog-background
#deuce-spigot
#diarrhea
#dune
#no-title-card
#sids
#single-panel
9,168 4/24/2024 fresh vegetables in the crisper
spigot: CARROTS AND CELERY ARE THE REAL CANCER STICKS spigot: WEIRDLY I HAVE NO PROBLEM WHITTLING ZUCCHINIS INTO THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL spigot: I WHITTLE THEM UNTIL THEY'RE GONE AND WE CAN'T HAVE ZUCCHINI
#cancer
#carrot
#celery
#cigarette
#crisp
#drugs
#food
#garbage-disposal
#orange-background
#sfw
#spigot-solo
#zucchini
9,169 4/25/2024 a moment of clarity
pants: 4:00 PM COFFEEDRINK pants: I'M ON A NEED TO KNOW BASIS!!!!!!!!! AND I NEEDS TO KNOW!!!!!!!!! SHOW ME YOUR COCK pants: WHY AM I TYPING THESE HORRIBLE THINGS
#cock
#coffee
#custom-background
#existential
#no-title-card
#pants-solo
9,170 4/26/2024 so profoundly embarrassed
spigot: I'M SO PROFOUNDLY EMBARRASSED FOR OUR SOLAR SYSTEM
#astronomy
#earth
#jupiter
#mars
#mars-background
#mercury
#neptune
#pluto
#saturn
#science
#sfw
#shame
#single-panel
#solar-system
#space
#spigot-solo
#sun
#uranus
#venus
9,171 4/27/2024 the fattest gayest webmaster in all of silicon valley
:hey: OUR SHIT HERE: WWW.BONEQUEST.STORE pants: FRACTURE MY FACE deuce: WITH A PENIS pants: AND THEN ANOTHER (TOTALLY DIFFERENT) PENIS deuce: A FLOTILLA OF PENISES deuce: EVENTUALLY GROWING TO AN ARMADA
#a-love-story
#angry-panel
#deuce-pants
#e-commerce
#gay
#huffy-pants
#merch
#olive-background
#penis
#physical-comedy
#somber-deuce
9,172 4/28/2024 he gets around
pants: SUCKING DICK IN THE SHADOW OF HEROD'S MASSACRE OF THE INNOCENTS
#bible
#dick
#dicksucking
#gospel-of-matthew
#king-herod
#pants-solo
#rabbinical-judaism
#religion
#woodring-stairs-background
9,173 4/29/2024 in d minor
spigot: CAN YOU NOT PLAY ADAGIO FOR BASSOON WHILE I PULL MY PENIS
#masturbation
#mountain-background
#music
#penis
#penis-of-spigot
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
9,174 4/30/2024 that japanese urinal photo i emailed you
pants: HELP HELP MY GIANT AMERICAN PENIS WANTS TO PISS ON THE FLOOR BUT THAT WOULD BRING SHAME TO MY FAMILY
#america
#dishonor
#japanese-urinal-background
#pants-solo
#penis
#piss
#shame
9,175 5/1/2024 welcome to piss burger
spigot: PISS BURGER GETTING TERRIBLE REVIEWS spigot: THE BUNS ARE WET
#blue-background
#burger
#no-title-card
#orange-background
#piss
#spigot-solo
#vegetarian
9,176 5/2/2024 the pomodoro technique
pants: SUCKING DICKS USING THE POMODORO TECHNIQUE (25 DICKS THEN TAKE A BREAK WITH 5 TOTALLY DIFFERENT DICKS)
#dicksucking
#efficiency
#italian
#math
#pants-solo
#pomodoro-technique
#single-panel
#studying
#time-management
#tomato
#turquoise-background
#work
9,177 5/3/2024 left unspecified
pants: WHO WANTS TO HOLD MY HAND WHILE I BEAT OFF deuce: THE NON-BEATOFF HAND pants: I DIDN'T SPECIFY deuce: THAT'S WHY I DID
#a-love-story
#apricot-background
#beating-off
#clarification
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#no-title-card
#semantics
9,178 5/4/2024 greetings and sally's patients
spigot: I HOPE THIS EMAIL FINDS YOU DECEASED
#death
#email
#mousehole
#sfw
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#woodring-room-background
9,179 5/5/2024 daylight savings time on the moon
pants: LICKING DICK IN COORDINATED LUNAR TIME
#black-background
#daylight-savings-time
#dicklicking
#moon
#pants-solo
#single-panel
9,180 5/6/2024 meanwhile on earth-616
spigot: WHO'S READY TO QUIT PORN AND EMBRACE CHRIST
#christ
#cool-deuce
#evangelism
#okay-pants-face
#porn
#salvation
#single-panel
#urinal-background
9,181 5/7/2024 content warning
pants: CONTENT WARNING: THIS REPORT INVOLVES DETAILS THAT MAY BE UPSETTING TO READERS. spigot: JUST GONNA ENJOY A QUICK BALONEY
#food
#mountain-background
#multiple-choice
#pants-spigot
#sfw
#single-panel
9,182 5/8/2024 9000 calories a day is all i ask
spigot: I THINK YOU'RE SITTING ON MY CPAP TUBE deuce: I SHAT pants: EXCUSE ME BUT I'VE EARNED A TREAT pants: HORMPTH HOMPTH BAG OF COOKIES
#bored-pants
#cookies
#cpap
#deuce-pants-spigot
#gluttony
#homph
#hompth
#huffy-pants
#no-title-card
#shit
#somber-deuce
#woodring-stairs-background
9,183 5/9/2024 pushing and shoving
pants: WHAT TIME DOES THE TWINK PARADE START
#mountain-background
#pants-solo
#parade
#single-panel
#twink
9,184 5/10/2024 if they can get to you, they can get to anybody
spigot: GIVING YOU EVERY CHANCE IN THE WORLD TO BE FART SMART spigot: I FEEL LIKE MAYBE THE BUTT PLUG COUNCIL GOT TO YOU
#butt-plug-council
#buttplug
#farts
#no-title-card
#spigot-solo
#woodring-room-background
9,185 5/11/2024 sad news everybody
spigot: MY ERECTION CROSSED THE RAINBOW BRIDGE TODAY
#death
#eggshell-background
#erection
#penis-of-spigot
#spigot-solo
9,186 5/12/2024 great news
pants: BEATOFF PRISON pants: HEY GANG, GREAT NEWS: BEATOFF PAROLE deuce: REGISTERED BEATOFF OFFENDER LIST pants: SUING THE GOVERNMENT TO RESTORE MY BEATOFF VOTING RIGHTS
#beat-off
#concerned-deuce
#corndog-background
#deuce-pants
#huffy-pants
#prison
#somber-deuce
#voting
9,187 5/13/2024 modem law
spigot: I SAT ON MY HAYES MICROMODEM pants: YOU'LL NEVER GET FIRED FOR PUTTING A HAYES MODEM IN YOUR BOTTOM deuce: HOW ABOUT HAYES-COMPATIBLE pants: I'M NOT ACTUALLY A MODEM LAWYER
#anal-insertion
#deuce-pants-spigot
#gunmetal-background
#law
#lawyer
#modem
#no-title-card
9,188 5/14/2024 outerwear for men
pants: NOBODY CAN TELL I'M OBESE UNDER MY PUFFER VEST
#coy-pants
#fashion
#fat
#obesity
#pants-solo
#sfw
#single-panel
#woodring-stairs-background
9,189 5/15/2024 subtitle
pants: BARF ON THE COCK THEN STAND AT ATTENTION WHILE YOU SALUTE THE COCK THAT YOU BARF ON pants: AN AUTOBIOGRAPHY
#mountain-background
#no-title-card
#pants-solo
#roman-shower
9,190 5/16/2024 nope nothing wrong here
effigy: :HIGH_HEEL: pants: SEE WHAT YOU DID, NOW I HAVE TO BEAT OFF
#beat-off
#effigy-pants
#emoji
#foot-fetish
#woodring-room-background
9,191 5/17/2024 late afternoon yawns
deuce: SO MANY YAWNS pants: PUNCH THEM DOWN deuce: UF deuce: MY FISF IS STUCF pants: I'LL GET HELP (SUCKS OWN DICK, FALLS ASLEEP)
#autofellatio
#deuce-pants
#dicksucking
#no-title-card
#sleep
#woodring-room-background
9,192 5/18/2024 for the love of god
pants: BROTHERS SHOULD BE CLOSE DON'T YOU THINK deuce: LEADING YOU DOWN INTO THE BASEMENT, CLOSING THE DOOR AND LOCKING YOU IN
#basement
#deuce-pants
#eggshell-background
#scanners
#sfw
#single-panel
#skinny-puppy
9,193 5/19/2024 just great power, no great responsibility
spigot: I'M NOW OLD ENOUGH TO BE SPIDER-MAN'S FATHER pants: YOU MEAN HIS UNCLE
#aging
#comics
#marvel
#old
#pants-spigot
#red-background
#sfw
#single-panel
#spider-man
#uncle-ben
9,194 5/20/2024 toot toot tootsie goodbye
effigy: DO TOOTSIE ROLLS COUNT AS DINNER??? deuce: IF YOU EAT ENOUGH OF 'EM
#brown-background
#candy
#deuce-effigy
#fatness
#sfw
9,195 5/21/2024 meow
spigot: IT'S CATGPT AND ALL IT SAYS IS MEOW deuce: I'D PAY FOR THAT pants: $20/MO OR $200/YR
#ai
#brown-background
#cats
#deuce-pants-spigot
#saas
#sfw
9,196 5/22/2024 play along
pants: HANDS BEHIND HEAD, LEANING BACK, OKAY, NOW: BEAT ME OFF deuce: WHY ISN'T IT HARD pants: WELL pants: MAYBE TAKE OFF YOUR TOP, DANCE AROUND A LITTLE, BREAK OUT THE SOCK PUPPETS
#a-love-story
#beating-off
#coy-pants
#dance
#dancing
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#erectile-dysfunction
#puppet
#shirtless
#somber-deuce
#woodring-stairs-background
9,197 5/23/2024 morning roll call
spigot: I NEVER SELECT RESTART OR SLEEP spigot: I SELECT SHUT DOWN EACH AND EVERY NIGHT spigot: AND I STAND THERE MOTIONLESS spigot: UNTIL EVERY FAN, spigot: EVERY GPU spigot: AND EVERY DRIVE spigot: SPINS DOWN TO DEAD SILENCE spigot: BEFORE THE UNIVERSE WAS FORMED spigot: LIKE OUR ELDERS TAUGHT US effigy: TRANSLATION: NO MINECRAFT FARM pants: HERE
#computers
#effigy-pants-spigot
#minecraft
#mountain-background
#sfw
#weird-pants-face
9,198 5/24/2024 parking lot sock
spigot: I BUILT A PARTICLE COLLIDER IN MY SOCK
#physics
#sfw
#single-panel
#sock-in-a-parking-lot
#spigot-solo
#woodring-field-background
9,199 5/25/2024 today's episoooooo
pants: TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY SQUARESPAAAAAA deuce: AND NORDVPPPPPPPPPPPPP
#deuce-pants
#podcast
#product-placement
#sfw
#single-panel
#sponsorship
#woodring-stairs-background
9,200 5/26/2024 geolocation
deuce: GEOLOCATE MY DICK pants: WHAT DO I WIN IF I FIND IT deuce: MY DICK
#angry-panel
#deuce
#deuce-pants
#dick
#geolocation
#gunmetal-background
#no-title-card
9,201 5/27/2024 thank you for your service
spigot: DEMOTED TO FIRST LIEUTENANT STABBIN deuce: FROM THIS WE CAN DETERMINE THAT STABBIN IS A SOLDIER OR A MARINE AND NOT A SAILOR
#camouflage-background
#captain-stabbin
#deuce-spigot
#porn
9,202 5/28/2024 ring ring ring ring ring ring ring
spigot: RAFAH, CAN YOU EVEN BELIEVE IT spigot: WILL HE EVER TOP BANANAPHONE
#banana
#current-events
#mountain-background
#no-title-card
#palestine
#raffi
#sfw
#spigot-solo
9,203 5/29/2024 poof
spigot: I WAS TOUCHED INAPPROPRIATELY BY DAVID BLAINE deuce: NOT DAVID COPPERFIELD ???? spigot: THAT'S WHY I'M SAD
#deuce-spigot
#disappointment
#magic
#molestation
#woodring-den-background
9,204 5/30/2024 beetle deuce
pants: BEETLEDEUCE BEETLEDEUCE BEETLEDEUCE deuce: WHAT pants: YOU SUCK
#a-love-story
#beetlejuice
#betelgeuse
#bored-pants
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#ghost
#ghosts
#gunmetal-background
#movies
#pun
#sfw
9,205 5/31/2024 court of last resort
spigot: YOUR HONOR, WEBSTER'S NEW WORLD COLLEGIATE DICTIONARY DEFINES "CHILD TRAFFICKING" AS
#children
#court
#dictionary
#law
#mousehole
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#woodring-room-background
9,206 6/1/2024 writers write
deuce: T PANTS ARE YOU HOME YET??? pants: JUST GOT HOME :pants: DIRECTLY INTO THE CAMERA deuce: HURRAY :we: ASKED HIM NOT TO, REPEATEDLY deuce: SO SLEEPY pants: AND YET SO HORNY pants: HORNY FOR PENIS???? pants: PROBABLY pants: I DON'T KNOW pants: I DIDN'T WRITE THIS SHIT
#caption
#concerned-deuce
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#eggshell-background
#horny
#meta
#no-title-card
#penis
#somber-deuce
9,207 6/2/2024 #define xor byte 0xaa
pants: ARE YOU XORING THINGS spigot: IN MY CHEEKS FOR WINTER
#gunmetal-background
#no-title-card
#pants-spigot
#set-theory
#sfw
9,208 6/3/2024 thad thacks
spigot: BEATING OFF INTO A SCENTED CANDLE spigot: SORRY BUT I BE SPITTIN STRAIGHT FACT
#beating-off
#bored-pants
#candle
#deuce-pants-spigot
#ebonics
#huffy-pants
#mountain-background
#no-title-card
#okay-pants-face
#somber-deuce
9,209 6/4/2024 quicksand
pants: HALP
#corndog-background
#halp
#hi-res
#pants-solo
#sand
#sfw
#single-panel
9,210 6/5/2024 if the shoe fits
spigot: SO IF WE LOOK AT YOUR PENIS WE WON'T FIND ANY GUNSHOT RESIDUE, IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE SAYING
#no-title-card
#penis
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#woodring-room-background
9,211 6/6/2024 2 to the power of gay
pants: T DEUCE BUT HOW OLD ARE YOU IN JACKOFF YEARS deuce: MUST DO UNIT CONVERSION
#aging
#corndog-background
#deuce-pants
#jacking-off
#math
#single-panel
9,212 6/7/2024 sharp plastic nano-fragments
spigot: BEDKNOBS AND BROOMSTICKS spigot: AND BALLBAGS spigot: DO YOU DARE ME TO DO A BM IN MY STILLSUIT spigot: PLEASE DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE FOREVER CHEMICALS IN MY PENIS AND THE SHARP PLASTIC NANO-FRAGMENTS IN MY WIFE'S PENIS
#dare
#disney
#dune
#movies
#no-title-card
#penis
#poop
#spigot-solo
#trans
#ts
#white-background
9,213 6/8/2024 report as spam
spigot: HOW ABOUT SOME LONG DONGS DELIVERED TO MY INBOX
#dongs
#email
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#urinal-background
9,214 6/9/2024 please recycle
spigot: BONEQUEST PANNED AS E-WASTE
#custom-background
#environmental-harm
#sfw
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
9,215 6/10/2024 toaster
deuce: SMEAR BUTTER ON ME pants: ARE YOU DELICIOUS TOAST deuce: I AM NOT
#a-love-story
#blue-background
#butter
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#food
#no-title-card
#sfw
#toast
9,216 6/11/2024 safety space
spigot: YOU CAN TRANS IF YOU WANT TO spigot: YOU CAN LEAVE YOUR DICKS BEHIND spigot: MEN WITHOUT DICKS
#datacenter-background
#dicks
#doop
#eighties
#etc
#gender-affirmation-surgery
#men-without-hats
#music
#safety-dance
#singing
#spigot-solo
#trans
#transgender
9,217 6/12/2024 the any key
pants: THE TOILET IS `CLOGGED` pants: PRESS ENTER TO CONTINUE
#brown-background
#coy-pants
#no-title-card
#pants-solo
#red-text
#sfw
#toilet
9,218 6/13/2024 double clicking
spigot: TAKING A SHIT IN THE SYSTEM FOLDER
#defecation
#macintosh
#mountain-background
#no-title-card
#shit
#spigot-solo
9,219 6/14/2024 uber eatsing
spigot: T DEUCE IF PIZZA IS SO GREAT WHY DON'T YOU HAVE ONE DELIVERED TO ME deuce: I'LL DOORDASH YOU A DICK spigot: NOT WHAT I REQUESTED deuce: UBER EATSING YOU ANOTHER DICK spigot: DID YOU TIP
#deuce-spigot
#dicks
#doordash
#food
#pizza
#uber
#woodring-stairs-background
9,220 6/15/2024 checklist culture
effigy: :WHITE_CHECK_MARK: PASSPORT effigy: :WHITE_CHECK_MARK: VISA effigy: :WHITE_CHECK_MARK: PLANE TICKET pants: MY UNVAXXED LOAD ??? effigy: GROSS
#effigy-pants
#grey-background
#vaccination
9,221 6/16/2024 all the way down
deuce: HOW MANY PANTS pants: I CONTAIN MULTITUDES deuce: YOU'RE TURTLES ALL THE WAY DOWN deuce: WELL TEN TURTLES, AN ATLAS, TWENTY MORE TURTLES, ANOTHER ATLAS, BUT AFTER THAT IT'S ALL TURTLES deuce: OKAY WITH A FEW MORE RANDOM ATLASES pants: SISYPHUS IS INVOLVED SOMEWHERE pants: WHAT WAS HIS CRIME ANYWAY
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#mythology
#sfw
#turtles
#walt-whitman
#woodring-field-background
9,222 6/17/2024 without a lot of fanfare
spigot: PRETTY SURE MY PENIS HANGING OUT IS FREE SPEECH pants: FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION pants: THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS pants: A THRILL FOR THE LADIES pants: WE ARE ALL WINNERS HERE
#bill-of-rights
#coy-pants
#exhibitionism
#happiness
#huffy-pants
#pants-spigot
#penis
#penis-of-spigot
#turquoise-background
#us-constitution
9,223 6/18/2024 pants in repose
pants: ALL CAPS, SCREAMING AT THE CEILING pants: IN THIS HOUSE WE SIT UP STRAIGHT WHEN RACHEL MADDOW IS ON pants: YOU DON'T HAVE TO LIKE IT BUT YOU DO HAVE TO LICK IT pants: SPAZZING OUT IN THE JUNIOR HIGH LOCKER ROOM pants: SERVING CUNT TO THE MAILMAN pants: HELLDIVERS TO HELLPODS HUALGHLAGHLAG pants: THE SAME TIRED OBSERVATIONS ABOUT COCKS AND BALLS, OVER AND OVER, AMEN pants: TIRED
#balls
#bored-pants
#cocks
#helldivers-2
#huffy-pants
#modified-character
#mountain-background
#pants-solo
#rachel-maddow
#rands-mentioned
#video-games
#weird-pants-face
9,224 6/19/2024 an haiku
deuce: SPOCK IS HALF-VULCAN deuce: AND DEFEATED DARTH VADER deuce: ON BABYLON 5 deuce: (AN HAIKU)
#babylon-5
#black-background
#citation-needed
#concerned-deuce
#deuce-solo
#drunk-deuce
#haiku
#poetry
#sfw
#spock
#star-trek
#star-wars
9,225 6/20/2024 the needs of the many
pants: CAPTAINS LOG, pants: STARDATE 1 pants: JUST INVENTED STARDATES
#captains-log
#gunmetal-background
#pants-solo
#sfw
#star-trek
9,226 6/21/2024 sorry
pants: LOVE ME, LOVE MY BONER pants: DON'T WORRY HE WON'T BITE pants: SORRY HE'S NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE
#apologies
#boner
#deuce-pants
#primrose-background
#red-background
9,227 6/22/2024 celebrate the moments of your life
spigot: HAPPY SHORT PENIS SATURDAY spigot: IT'S POSSIBLE I MADE THAT UP
#holiday
#mountain-background
#no-title-card
#penis
#penis-of-spigot
#spigot-solo
9,228 6/23/2024 bank holiday
pants: HAPPY FAG DAY EVERYBODY!!!!!! deuce: IS IT A NATIONAL OR BANK HOLIDAY pants: CANADIAN
#angry-panel
#canada
#deuce-pants
#fag
#holiday
#huffy-pants
#mountain-background
#no-title-card
#somber-deuce
9,229 6/24/2024 the developer distribution portal
spigot: CAN I PLEASE ASK WHO TOOK A SHIT IN THE DEVELOPER DISTRIBUTION PORTAL spigot: IT GOT DISTRIBUTED ALL OVER THE DEVELOPERS spigot: THE PORTAL IS FINE
#shit
#software
#spigot-solo
#woodring-stairs-background
9,230 6/25/2024 reddit hates women
spigot: HEY REDDIT I'LL DO A PUSHUP FOR EVERY DICK I SUCK
#dicksucking
#exercise
#mountain-background
#no-title-card
#reddit
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
9,231 6/26/2024 llllllllllllllllllll
spigot: WHAPPING MY DICK ALONG THE PICKET FENCE
#dick
#grey-background
#no-title-card
#penis-of-spigot
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#whapping
9,232 6/27/2024 swimmer's ear
pants: FUCK MY BUSTER BROWNS deuce: PEE IN MY EAR HOLE pants: REALLY SHAKING OUT THE URINE deuce: GIVING ME SWIMMER'S EAR (WITH PISS) pants: BLBLBBLBLBL
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#fashion
#piss
#shoes
#somber-deuce
#swimmers-ear
#woodring-stairs-background
9,233 6/28/2024 chomp chew duh
pants: T DEUCE I AM FAT GETTING FATTER BUT NOT AT MY FATTEST YET deuce: YOU'VE GOT A GOOD 10-15 MINUTES LEFT pants: EATING BAGELS AS FAST AS I CAN
#bagels
#despair-panel
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#fatness
#filler-panel
#gluttony
#grey-background
#plump
#sfw
#somber-deuce
9,234 6/29/2024 a man such as myself
pants: HOW CAN WE KEEP GAYS LIKE ME OFF SOCIAL MEDIA pants: WHY YES I WILL HAVE A CAN OF ICED COFFEE THAT WILL KEEP ME UP UNTIL 2 AM pants: RAVE WHISTLE.WAV pants: NEED KNOW INFO: IS MAKING FUN OF A GROWN MAN'S FANNYPACK (MINE) STOLEN VALOR OR CANCEL CULTURE
#cancel-culture
#coffee
#coy-pants
#fannypack
#filename
#funloving-nonsense
#gay
#insomnia
#pants-solo
#sfx
#social-media
#starbucks-background
#stolen-valor
9,235 6/30/2024 breakpoints in the gay debugger
effigy: MY PENIS HAS ERROR BARS
#bored-pants
#debug
#deuce-effigy-pants
#drunk-deuce
#error
#penis
#penis-of-effigy
#programming
#woodring-stairs-background
9,236 7/1/2024 fucking go
pants: MY COCK IS NOT TO BE TRIFLED WITH pants: SUBTEXT: TOTALLY TRIFLE WITH MY COCK, FUCKING GO, DO IT
#cock
#coy-pants
#gunmetal-background
#pants-solo
#subtext
#trifling
9,237 7/2/2024 enter pants, stage right
spigot: YOUR HEALTH IS YOUR BIGGEST ASSET deuce: MY HEALTH CAN FUCK ITSELF pants: I'D SAY MY ASS IS MY BIGGEST ASSET spigot: WILLING TO LICK STARTING AT ZERO DOLLARS PER MONTH
#ass
#chartreuse-background
#custom-background
#deuce-pants-spigot
#health
#licking
9,238 7/3/2024 a total eclipse of the heart
pants: WHEN CAN I TAKE MY ECLIPSE GLASSES OFF deuce: WHEN THE NEXT ECLIPSE HAPPENS
#astronomy
#bonnie-tyler
#correct-answer
#custom-background
#deuce-pants
#eclipse
#sfw
#yellow-background
9,239 7/4/2024 defense of habitation
spigot: IF I BEAT OFF IN YOUR FACE IS THAT STAND YOUR GROUND
#beat-off
#beating-off
#facial
#legalese
#mountain-background
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
9,240 7/5/2024 hanging with the homeboys
spigot: MY PENIS HANGING OUT IS NOT THE ISSUE pants: YOUR PENIS HAS BARELY TOUCHED THE SEEDBELL I BOUGHT FOR HIM
#angry-panel
#corndog-background
#coy-pants
#huffy-pants
#pants-spigot
#penis-of-spigot
#seedbell
9,241 7/6/2024 mister softy
deuce: I'M A HEDGE FUND MANAGER deuce: (SQUEEZING OUT A PERFECTLY COILED SOFT SERVE POO)
#deuce-solo
#deuces-shits
#economics
#gunmetal-background
#no-title-card
#poo
9,242 7/7/2024 pushing rope
spigot: WISH YOU WOULD STOP REMARKING ON THE "ENSHITTIFICATION" OF MY ERECTION
#enshittification
#erection
#mountain-background
#penis-of-spigot
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
9,243 7/8/2024 last words
deuce: WHAT WILL OUR DESCENDANTS SAY pants: THEY WILL SEX deuce: GROSS pants: IF YOU THINK THAT'S GROSS YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!! (PANTS LOGS OUT, DELETES HIS ACCOUNT, MOVES TO RURAL OREGON) deuce: (DEUCE AS A GRANDFATHER ON HIS DEATHBED, SURROUNDED BY A HUGE LOVING EXTENDED FAMILY, LAST WORDS:) AND I'LL NEVER KNOW WHAT HAPPENED NEXT
#aging
#clickbait
#coy-pants
#death
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#family
#oregon
#sad
#sex
#stalldoor-background
9,244 7/9/2024 tacos for lunch
spigot: I FEEL BAD FOR HAVING TO REMIND YOU OF THIS, AND I KNOW I DON'T HAVE TO REMIND YOU, BUT . . . . . . . . IT IS TITTY TUESDAY pants: DOES THAT MEAN TACOS FOR LUNCH
#ghq
#no-title-card
#pants-spigot
#single-panel
#tacos
#tits
#trailer-background
9,245 7/10/2024 tinnitis
pants: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE deuce: (TINNITIS)
#bored-pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#health
#no-title-card
#repetition
#sfw
#somber-deuce
#starbucks-background
#tinnitus
#typo
9,246 7/11/2024 say it ain't so
spigot: MY LUMBERING AUTISTIC SON DID A BUNCH OF WEIRD HORRIBLE THINGS ?????????? W H A T
#autism
#children
#no-title-card
#sfw
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#woodring-stairs-background
9,247 7/12/2024 angles (sic)
pants: MAYBE SOMEDAY WE CAN USE ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE TO HAVE KEVIN COSTNER RE-DO THE VOICE OVER FOR _WINGS OF DESIRE_ INSTEAD OF THAT DREARY GERMAN
#ai
#german
#mars-background
#movies
#no-title-card
#pants-solo
#sfw
#single-panel
9,248 7/13/2024 why does it have to be a dare
spigot: DO YOU DARE ME TO SHIT MY LEGS OFF
#brown-background
#custom-background
#dares
#no-title-card
#shit
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
9,249 7/14/2024 thousands more
spigot: DID YOU LICK A DICK spigot: YOU MAY BE ENTITLED TO THOUSANDS IN COMPENSATION spigot: THOUSANDS MORE DICKS
#advertising
#commercial
#dicklicking
#dicks
#lawyer
#mountain-background
#spigot-solo
9,250 7/15/2024 every last one of yas
pants: PASSING A NOTE TO THE TELLER DEMANDING A HUG
#hugs
#no-title-card
#pants-solo
#robbery
#sfw
#single-panel
#urinal-background
9,251 7/16/2024 belch
pants: BELCH deuce: CLARIFY pants: BELCH deuce: CLARIFY!!! deuce: DEEP BARITONE BELCH OR NEAR-VOMIT BELCH OR SONIC THE HEDGEHOG BELCH pants: BARNEY FROM THE SIMPSONS deuce: WELL HELD
#blue-background
#burp
#deuce-pants
#near-vomit-belch
#sfw
#simpsons
#sonic-the-hedgehog
9,252 7/17/2024 mood board
pants: T DEUCE YOUR "MOOD BOARD" IS JUST SHIT SMEARS deuce: (LIFTS FACE, SMEARED WITH POO) WHAT'S A MOOD BOARD
#corndog-background
#deuce-pants
#mood-board
#poo
#shit
#smearing
9,253 7/18/2024 several times a day
spigot: I WOULD STING AND DROWN STEVE IRWIN SEVERAL TIMES A DAY deuce: NOTE: HE DID NOT ACTUALLY DROWN deuce: THE IMPORTANT THING IS THE STINGRAY GOT AWAY WITH IT deuce: JUSTIFIED, NO CHARGES FILED deuce: RETURNED HOME TO A TICKER-TAPE PARADE deuce: GIVEN THE KEY TO THE (UNDERWATER) CITY deuce: MANY FAWNING INTERVIEWS ON STINGRAY TELEVISION deuce: BUT CABLE, NOT BROADCAST
#cable
#death
#deuce-spigot
#drowning
#interview
#laughing-deuce
#minecraft-background
#parade
#sfw
#somber-deuce
#steve-irwin
#stingray
#television
#underwater
9,254 7/19/2024 lou dobbs sucks cocks in hell
pants: PICK ON SOMEBODY YOUR OWN SIZE pants: I AM YOUR SIZE pants: YOU COULD TOTALLY PICK ON ME
#coy-pants
#gunmetal-background
#lou-dobbs
#no-title-card
#pants-solo
#sfw
9,255 7/20/2024 writers write
pants: WHY I BLOG spigot: AN OPEN LETTER
#blog
#pants-spigot
#sfw
#single-panel
#urinal-background
9,256 7/21/2024 tell me more
deuce: I WOULD DESCRIBE MY WANG AS BEATIFIC pants: BUT IS IT YOUR BEST FRIEND
#deuce-pants
#single-panel
#wang
#woodring-stairs-background
9,257 7/22/2024 victory was never in doubt
pants: SUCKING OFF THE MONSTER OF THE LAKE pants: GET GEN X ON THE HORN, I CAN'T OPEN THIS PDF pants: OOF REALLY WEDGED IN HERE :WOOD: pants: PLEASE HELP ME I'M FAT AND STUCK pants: ARM TRANS PEOPLE pants: NOT EVERYTHING HAS TO BE ABOUT SOMETHING pants: JULY IS DRESSED UP AND PLAYING HER TUNE 🎶 pants: SENDING IN AN EAGLE
#bored-pants
#coy-pants
#emoji
#fatness
#funloving-nonsense
#gen-x
#helldivers-2
#lord-of-the-rings
#mountain-background
#nessie
#pants-solo
#pdf
#seals-and-crofts
#transgender
9,258 7/23/2024 you know what to do
deuce: THE GUN IS ON THE DESK deuce: YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO: deuce: FIRE IT IN THE AIR AND SHOUT "YEE HAW"
#cowboy
#deuce-solo
#drunk-deuce
#gun
#no-title-card
#sfw
#suicide
#take-her-to-the-music-store
#white-background
9,259 7/24/2024 moon rocks
pants: PRICKS AND DICKS: 100% THE SAME pants: HUNGRY HUNGRY HIPPOS BUT THEY'RE HORNY pants: WHAT YOU CALL DINNER I CALL CRUNCH TIME pants: DO MOON ROCKS (ROCKS FROM THE MOON) HAVE DICKS deuce: SOME DO pants: ASKING FOR A (GAY) FRIEND pants: EVEN A STOPPED CLOCK LICKS A MOON ROCK'S DICK TWICE A DAY pants: BARF ON MY THING deuce: CLARIFY WHICH THING: deuce: YOUR BUTTPLUG-SHAPED TIVO REMOTE, deuce: THE ZUCCHINI YOU'RE CURRENTLY CLEANING, deuce: OR THE BIG BLACK DILDO IN THE MEDICINE CABINET pants: STAY OUT OF MY MEDICINE CABINET
#coy-pants
#dicks
#dildo
#drunk-deuce
#funloving-nonsense
#gay
#huffy-pants
#hungry-hungry-hippos
#laughing-deuce
#modified-character
#moon
#mountain-background
#pricks
#roman-shower
#somber-deuce
#talking-heads
#tivo
#weird-pants-face
#zucchini
9,260 7/25/2024 are you there god
pants: BEEZUS DOES RAMONA spigot: SUPERFUDGED
#lesbian
#literature
#pants-spigot
#poo
#single-panel
#stalldoor-background
9,261 7/26/2024 placed just so
pants: MAY I PLEASE HAVE A TREAT PLACED ON THE TOP OF MY TONGUE pants: I WILL KEEP MY EYES CLOSED deuce: GRATE MY BALLS deuce: JUST RUN 'EM AGAINST A CHEESE GRATER UNTIL THEY'RE GONE
#balls
#cbt
#deuce-pants
#deuces-balls
#drunk-deuce
#genital-mutilation
#somber-deuce
#urinal-background
#weird-pants-face
9,262 7/27/2024 a very delicate ecosystem
effigy: THE SHOW IS 88% JUST PEOPLE SCREAMING AT EACH OTHER pants: AND 12% BREAKING DOWN BOXES
#effigy-pants
#green-background
#screaming
#sfw
#television
#tv
9,263 7/28/2024 sucking off in the abstract
pants: JESUS PUT US HERE ON EARTH TO FUCK AND SUCK THINGS pants: PLANTS, ANIMALS, MINERALS deuce: PROTISTS deuce: THE AIR deuce: ABSTRACT FEELINGS SUCH AS GRATITUTDE pants: YEAH ALL THAT SHIT GONNA GET SO FUCKED pants: PAC-MAN BUT THE GHOSTS ARE RETARDED AND EASILY SCARED
#abstract
#bored-pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#fuck
#ghosts
#huffy-pants
#jesus
#lime-background
#no-title-card
#pac-man
#retard
#somber-deuce
#suck
9,264 7/29/2024 we've got you covered
spigot: STOP CALLING MY PENIS A ZOMBIE FORECLOSURE
#penis
#penis-of-spigot
#real-estate
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#woodring-stairs-background
#zombie
9,265 7/30/2024 it really oughtta be
atandt: WE HOLD THESE TRUTHS TO BE SELF-EVIDENT atandt: THAT ALL MEN ARE CREATED EQUAL pants: BUT NOT THEIR DICKS deuce: PAULI EXCLUSION PRINCIPLE atandt: PAULI'S ALWAYS DID LOOK A BIT PECULIAR
#atandt-deuce-pants
#bosons
#coy-pants
#declaration-of-independence
#dicks
#drunk-deuce
#mountain-background
#no-title-card
#pauli-exclusion-principle
#quantum-physics
#somber-deuce
#spin
#superposition
#thomas-jefferson
#understudy-of-rands
9,266 7/31/2024 o say
spigot: PLEASE RISE FOR THE NATIONAL ANTHEM OF BONEQUEST pants: AGAIN???
#bonequest
#huffy-pants
#pants-spigot
#sfw
#single-panel
#woodring-room-background
9,267 8/1/2024 surely you're joking mister deuce
effigy: SOMETIMES I ZONE OUT... THEN WHEN I SNAP OUT OF IT I REALIZE THAT I HAVE BEEN TAPPING MY BALLS LIKE BONGO DRUMS FOR THE PAST FEW MINUTES effigy: THEN I GO GET SOME ICE deuce: THAT'S WHAT RICHARD FEYNMAN WOULD DO BUT WITHOUT THE TESTICLES spigot: HE WOULD PULL HIS BALLS THROUGH HIS ZIPPER AND WALK AROUND LOS ALAMOS WAVING AT PEOPLE
#balls
#college
#deuce-effigy-spigot
#gunmetal-background
#no-title-card
#physics
#richard-feynman
9,268 8/2/2024 goon squad
spigot: IF I HAD BUT ONE WORD TO DESCRIBE MYSELF spigot: IT WOULD BE GOONING SMALL DICK PENIS PUMPER deuce: FUCKO spigot: NO, IT WOULD BE WHAT I SAID deuce: THAT'S SHORT FOR WHAT YOU SAID
#deuce-spigot
#innumeracy
#no-title-card
#penis-pump
#somber-deuce
#urinal-background
9,269 8/3/2024 do you fit in my mouth
deuce: BASTE ME pants: ARE YOU FOOD deuce: I CAN BE IF YOU PLAY YOUR CARDS RIGHT
#a-love-story
#cannibalism
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#deucegrin
#drunk-deuce
#no-title-card
#okay-pants-face
#sfw
#vore
#woodring-stairs-background
9,270 8/4/2024 y'all gonna make me tongue a prick
pants: Y'ALL GONNA MAKE ME LICK A DICK pants: UP IN HEEH-YEAH pants: UP IN HEEH-YEAH spigot: DO YOU WANT TO TELL ME ABOUT THE CRUMPLED UP POST-IT NOTE I FOUND IN THE TRASH THAT SAYS 2 ORCS 1 CUP
#dmx
#no-title-card
#orcs
#pants-spigot
#porn
#rap
#scat
#singing
#woodring-field-background
9,271 8/5/2024 trade mark
pants: JACK ME OFF deuce: JACK ME OFF PLANET deuce: A WHOLLY-OWNED SUBSIDIARY OF JACKOFF PLANET pants: AVOIDING COMPETITION WITH SIMILAR-SOUNDING NAMES deuce: THEY'RE ATTEMPTING TO CORNER THE MARKET pants: AND THAT'S FAIR IF THEY'RE SPENDING THE MONEY ON TRADEMARKS AND LAWYERS pants: BUT FOR 90 YEARS MY FAMILY HAS BEEN SELLING GOODS UNDER THE MARK `JACK OFF PLANET` AND I'M WORRIED deuce: BUT WHEN THE CONGLOMERATE MOVED IN AND STARTING SELLING SERVICES UNDER THAT MARK YOU DIDN'T DEFEND YOUR TRADEMARK SO NOW YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO LITIGATE IT AND YOU'LL PROBABLY LOSE
#deuce-pants
#doop
#gunmetal-background
#handjob
#jacking-off
#law
#legal
#modified-character
#trademark
#weird-pants-face
9,272 8/6/2024 look in your heart
spigot: WE ONLY TAKE YEGGS WHAT'S BEEN TO COLLEGE pants: MINK IS EDDIE DANE'S BOY deuce: YOU GUYS DON'T SPEAK RIGHT
#angry-panel
#bored-pants
#deuce-pants-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#huffy-pants
#millers-crossing
#mountain-background
#no-title-card
#word-salad
9,273 8/7/2024 your end of the bargain
spigot: TOUNGING WNAGS pants: HUG-AH-LUG-AH
#bob-1065
#bonequest-830
#hugalugah
#minecraft-background
#pants-spigot
#single-panel
#tetragrammaton
#tongue
#typo
#wangs
9,274 8/8/2024 my compliments to the chef
spigot: A SPRINKLE OF MOZZARELLA ON THE DOG SHIT spigot: NO TOO MUCH MOZZARELLA
#cheese
#cooking
#dogshit
#fat
#food
#italian
#mousehole
#no-title-card
#spigot-solo
#woodring-room-background
9,275 8/9/2024 good night pants
pants: I'M GOING TO BED pants: WAKE ME UP WHEN THE PROSTITUTES GET HERE deuce: THEN THAT WOULD TECHNICALLY QUALIFY AS A NAP pants: JUST WAKE ME IN TIME OTHERWISE YOU'RE MY PROSTITUTE deuce: ROGER THAT
#a-love-story
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#gunmetal-background
#huffy-pants
#naps
#no-title-card
#prostitute
9,276 8/10/2024 and he did ride
spigot: MORE LIKE FROGGY WENT A-SUCKIN pants: SEXUALLY MANHANDLED deuce: APPROPRIATELY SHAKEN pants: NEVER STIRRED deuce: SHAKEN LIKE A BAD BABY deuce: OR A GOOD BABY WITH BAD PARENTS
#baby
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#frog
#funloving-nonsense
#huffy-pants
#james-bond
#mango-background
#martini
#sex
#somber-deuce
9,277 8/11/2024 washing the zucchini
spigot: WHAT IF YOU HOLD THE ZUCCHINI OVER THE SINK AND I JUST NOPE WORSE deuce: THE CHURCH OF JOE'S DICK pants: (SUGAR RAY VOICE) EVERY MORNING
#church
#deuce-pants-spigot
#dick
#drunk-deuce
#funloving-nonsense
#gunmetal-background
#joes-dick
#single-panel
#sugar-ray
#zucchini
9,278 8/12/2024 desert island dicks
spigot: IF YOU COULD WISH FOR THREE PEOPLE TO HAVE WITH YOU ON A DESERT ISLAND spigot: WOULD YOU NOT FACTOR IN WHETHER THEY'D ACTUALLY ENJOY BEING UPROOTED FROM THEIR LIVES AND STUCK THERE WITH YOU spigot: SUDDENLY EXPECTED TO DISPENSE WISDOM OR PERFORM OR BE ENGAGING IN ANY WAY deuce: I'D CHOOSE THEM BASED ON BEING A SUPPLEMENTAL FOOD SOURCE
#cannibalism
#deuce-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#island-background
#philosophy
#rands-come-back
#wish
9,279 8/13/2024 golf club
pants: NEVER LEAVE HOME WITHOUT YOUR GOLF CLUB spigot: HOW CAN YOU HAVE ANY DAWKINS IF YOU DON'T EAT YOUR KRAUSS deuce: KRAUSS TASTES LIKE DIRT deuce: WAIT I'M THINKING OF BRAZIL NUTS
#blue-background
#deuce-pants-spigot
#evolution
#food
#golf
#nuts
#philosophy
#pink-floyd
#science
#sfw
#skepticism
9,280 8/14/2024 oscellations
pants: I'M BEGINNING TO SEE A POINT OF LIGHT ON THE HORIZON pants: IT'S UH GETTING LARGER pants: I'M GETTING SOME PRETTY GOOD OSCELLATIONS pants: IT'S COMING QUICKER NOW IT'S REALLY GOING pants: ANY SECOND NOW pants: HERE WE GO spigot: WHAT ABOUT THE 2024 FARTLYMPICS effigy: GODDAMMIT, I SCRATCHED MY GLASSES
#bored-pants
#coy-pants
#effigy-pants-spigot
#farts
#funloving-nonsense
#glasses
#okay-pants-face
#olympics
#sfw
#typo
#white-background
9,281 8/15/2024 babbaged
deuce: I'M A BABBAGE MACHINE deuce: LET'S ALL LEARN ABOUT THE HISTORY OF COMPUTRYHT YEIYHBIHBGHDI spigot: ***SIGH*** deuce: T SPIGOT COME BACK SO I CAN TELL YOU ABOUT HOW JAMES BURKE HAS CHANGED MY LIFE pants: CONNECTIONSTHTH :SWEAT-DROPS:TH:SWEAT-DROPS:TH:SWEAT-DROPS:TH:SWEAT-DROPS:TH:SWEAT-DROPS: (LIMP-WRISTED)
#charles-babbage
#computers
#connections
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#gay
#grey-background
#james-burke
#lisp
#mock-lisp
#no-title-card
#somber-deuce
#spigot-leaves
9,282 8/16/2024 marsh mallow
pants: THE MARSHMALLOW TEST IS WHERE YOU SUCK DICK FOR MARSHMALLOWS :hormpth: HLUAGHALGAG pants: I PASSED THE MARSHMALLOW TEST
#cocksucking-noises
#dicksucking
#jean-charles
#marshmallow
#pants-solo
#theory-of-mind
#urinal-background
9,283 8/17/2024 a one-time thing
pants: INEZ LIKES BIRD
#birthday-strip
#obscure
#pants-solo
#sfw
#single-panel
#woodring-stairs-background
9,284 8/18/2024 approx
pants: DICK(S) deuce: WHERE pants: HOW MANY PACKETS THROUGH HOW MANY ROUTERS IS THIS GOING SO WE CAN JUST TALK ABOUT DICKS ACROSS NETWORKS deuce: 357305739067390573405973409 5734095730496793046709345673 9406793476034976930 4756390467349076394076 deuce: (APPROX.)
#bored-pants
#computer
#computer-science
#computers
#deuce-pants
#dicks
#drunk-deuce
#mountain-background
#networking
#packets
#router
#tcp-ip
#tracert
9,285 8/19/2024 to have and to hold
deuce: I'M ECUMENICAL deuce: I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS BUT IT'S A DOOZIE
#deuce-solo
#drunk-deuce
#ecumenical
#no-title-card
#sfw
#somber-deuce
#woodring-stairs-background
9,286 8/20/2024 oh to be young again
pants: WHY IS IT WRONG pants: WHY NOT INDULGE YOURSELF HALGHLGHAG pants: VIVA LA PANTS
#bored-pants
#cocksucking-noises
#pants
#pants-solo
#woodring-field-background
9,287 8/21/2024 so so different
deuce: WANGITUDINAL (IT'S LIKE LONGITUDINAL BUT DIFFERENT)
#cartography
#deuce-pants-spigot
#gay
#geography
#john-harrison
#longitude
#neologisms
#single-panel
#wangs
#white-background
9,288 8/22/2024 sunflower seeds in my bottom
spigot: I HOPE NO UKRANIANS PUSH INTO MY KURSK REGION
#battlefield-background
#current-events
#high-res
#news
#no-title-card
#russia
#sfw
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#ukraine
#war
9,289 8/23/2024 tim t-town
pants: WANTS AND NEEDS AND WEIRD KNOBBY PISS WIENERS pants: CAN THIS WAR OF YOURS FINALLY BE DONE pants: GRUNT deuce: SNORT pants: FREE HUGS deuce: HUHHHHHHHHH pants: HORM HARF pants: AND OTHER ICELANDIC NOISES
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#hugs
#hungur-pungur
#iceland
#no-title-card
#piss
#pissdude
#somber-deuce
#teal-background
#war
#wiener
9,290 8/24/2024 sweet, sweet, sweet sweet sunflowers
pants: SO I'M MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS AND THIS SUNFLOWER DEMANDS I PISS HIM UP :SUNFLOWER: 💦 deuce: PRACTICALLY A PISS TARGET (FT. THE FIBONACCI SEQUENCE) pants: DO YOU THINK THEY LIKE PISS (LOOKING FOR ANY EXCUSE) deuce: IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER IF THEY LIKE PISS OR NOT IF THEY DRESS LIKE THAT
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#emoji
#fibonacci
#math
#piss
#plant
#somber-deuce
#sunflower
#yellow-background
9,291 8/25/2024 new rules
spigot: "THE ANTICS AREN'T NEARLY AS CUTE AS THE FILM THINKS THEY ARE" spigot: EBERT DID NOT LIKE SCHINDLER'S LIST pants: NEW RULE: LESBIANS AREN'T CONSIDERED GAY effigy: YA, GAY TAKES WORK. pants: GAY MEANS KNOBBY DICKS AND SMOOTH ASIAN BOYS effigy: NODS WISELY
#asians
#dicks
#effigy-pants-spigot
#film
#gay
#gunmetal-background
#lesbian
#movies
#no-title-card
#schindlers-list
9,292 8/26/2024 pan cakes
pants: WHO WANTS PANCAKES spigot: WHO WANTS PANCAKES effigy: WHO WANTS PANCAKES deuce: WHO WANTS PANCAKES pants: PANCAKES spigot: PANCAKES deuce: PANCAKES effigy: TOO MANY PANCAKES
#breakfast
#deuce-effigy-pants-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#fatness
#gluttony
#modified-character
#pancakes
#repetition
#sfw
#woodring-stairs-background
9,293 8/27/2024 the sun in your eyes
deuce: T PANTS ALAN PARSONS PROJECT PLAYING IN MY DENTIST'S OFFICE
#alan-parsons-project
#dentist
#deuce-solo
#eggshell-background
#hygiene
#music
#no-title-card
#sfw
#single-panel
9,294 8/28/2024 life choices
effigy: [LIFE OF CRIME] VS [CONTINUE LOOKING FOR JOB]
#crime
#effigy-solo
#multiple-choice
#sfw
#single-panel
#stalldoor-background
#unemployment
9,295 8/29/2024 return service requested
spigot: DO YOU DARE ME TO PIN MY PENIS TO THE TASKBAR
#dare
#deuce-pants-spigot
#gui
#mountain-background
#penis
#penis-of-spigot
#single-panel
#somber-deuce
#windows
9,296 8/30/2024 for his love of christ
pants: WHAT GOOD SHALL WE DO THIS DAY spigot: WHAT I GOTTA KNOW IS BONEQUEST.COM/PRICKS/
#custom-background
#epilepsy-warning
#fixed-for-pricks
#pants-spigot
#pricks
#single-panel
#url
#yellow-background
9,297 8/31/2024 dicks out
deuce: WAS HARAMBE THE DUDE OR THE pants: HE WAS THE KING WHO CUT BABIES IN HALF pants: NOT TO SOLVE DISPUTES OR ANYTHING, HE JUST LOVED CHOPPING STUFF UP deuce: NO THAT WAS NELSON MANDELA pants: ON EARTH 353 SURE BUT HERE ON 354 WE [HEAD CHOPPED OFF] deuce: WHO GAVE HIS NAME TO THE GAME MANCALA deuce: AND MANDALAY BAY pants: WHICH WE KNOW TODAY AS A MINT JULIP [HEAD CHOPPED OFF AGAIN]
#alcohol
#beheading
#bored-pants
#coy-pants
#decapitation
#deuce-pants
#drinking
#drunk-deuce
#harambe
#mandela-effect
#mint-julep
#solomon
#somber-deuce
#typo
#violence
#woodring-field-background
9,298 9/1/2024 mindful, demure
pants: SUCKING DICK IN A HOLLOW LOG pants: SERVICING MOSTLY SQUIRRELS AND TOADS pants: AND YES SOMETIMES THE OCCASIONAL KEEBLER ELF
#bingo
#cookies
#coy-pants
#dicksucking
#elves
#hollow-log
#keebler
#pants-solo
#woodring-stairs-background
#zoophilia
9,299 9/2/2024 sack of potato
pants: OOF OW pants: SHOVED INTO A POTATO SACK pants: MY FATE: TO BE THROWN INTO THE RIVER pants: HOWEVER THE SACK IS MADE OF BURLAP AND pants: IT SPLITS WHEN YOU TRY AND TOSS ME IN pants: NOW I AM ON THE RIVER BANK SITTING IN THE WET GRASS, CONFUSED
#a-day-in-the-life-of-pants
#burlap
#coy-pants
#drowning
#minecraft-background
#no-title-card
#physical-comedy
#poetry
#potato
#sfw
9,300 9/3/2024 buddo the fuck boy
pants: GONNA FUCK THE MOUTH OF THE EARLIEST HUMAN FIGURE FOUND ANYWHERE IN THE BRITISH ISLES
#british
#buddo
#mountain-background
#mouth
#pants-solo
#single-panel
9,301 9/4/2024 inflation
spigot: PROUD TO HAVE BOUGHT TWO PINTS OF GOURMET ICE CREAM AND A BOX OF COOKIES TOTALLING $48
#cookies
#dollars
#food
#gluttony
#ice-cream
#pride
#sfw
#spigot-solo
#woodring-stairs-background
9,302 9/5/2024 the artistic process
spigot: CUT spigot: YOUR HEART'S NOT IN THIS SCENE IS IT spigot: WE NEED TO SEE THE JIZZ IN LONG DRIPPY STRINGS FROM THE DICK TO YOUR FACE spigot: SO WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO DO THOSE SCENES ALL OVER AGAIN spigot: I DON'T MAKE THE RULES spigot: THIS TIME WITH FEELING spigot: YOU'RE EXHIBITING A BIT OF AN ATTITUDE THERE spigot: YOU'RE HERE TO JIZZ UP YOUR FACE FOR THE CAMERA, NOT BE A JUNIOR DIRECTOR
#autism
#facial
#film
#girl
#harriet
#jenv
#jizz
#maynard
#porn
#trailer-background
#uncredited-character
#understudy-of-pants
9,303 9/6/2024 proud of our peacock
spigot: CAN'T WE USE AI TO SUPERIMPOSE LIMBS AND LEGS ON THE PARALYMPIANS spigot: THEIR FINGERS AND HANDS COULD STAY EXACTLY THE SAME spigot: ADS THEN
#ai
#mountain-background
#nbc
#olympics
#spigot-solo
9,304 9/7/2024 for your health
pants: MAY I HAVE SEVEN OR SO FROSTED CINNAMON ROLLS BEFORE PUTTING ON THE BLOOD PRESSURE CUFF
#doctor
#gluttony
#pants-solo
#potomac-background
#sfw
#single-panel
9,305 9/8/2024 here's what you do
spigot: ARE YOU MARRIED YET pants: NO pants: I MEAN SURE spigot: GREAT, HERE'S WHAT YOU DO spigot: NEXT TIME YOU AND YOUR WIFE ARE STANDING IN LINE SOMEWHERE spigot: TURN TO HER WITH A CONCERNED LOOK ON YOUR FACE pants: UH HUH spigot: SAY HONEY, MAY I BE FRANK WITH YOU pants: HOO BOY spigot: SHE'LL SAY "OKAY" OR "SURE" OR "OF COURSE" spigot: THEN YOU PULL DOWN YOUR PANTS AND SAY HOW ABOUT THIS BALL PARK FRANK spigot: AND POINT AT YOUR PENIS ALL FLOPPED OUT AND PLUMP pants: WHY DO WE HAVE TO BE IN LINE spigot: JUST BE OUT IN PUBLIC
#bored-pants
#coy-pants
#disappointed-pants
#food
#hot-dog
#hot-dogs
#marriage
#minecraft-background
#not-gay
#pants-spigot
#penis
#wiener
#wife
9,306 9/9/2024 movie review
spigot: LEGS AIN'T EVEN THAT LONG pants: DANG OL' SATURATED IN DISQUIETING MOOD I TELL YOU WHAT
#alley-background
#king-of-the-hill
#movies
#pants-spigot
#sfw
#single-panel
9,307 9/10/2024 gen xyzzy
spigot: PROUD TO NOT KNOW WHAT ANTIHISTAMINE IS OR DOES
#ignorance
#medicine
#potomac-background
#pride
#sfw
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
9,308 9/11/2024 is this not
spigot: OH I'M SORRY IS THIS NOT WHERE WE SHOW OFF OUR BIG FAT FLIPPER DICKS
#dicks
#exhibitionism
#grey-background
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
9,309 9/12/2024 the pipes
spigot: OKAY ***NOW*** ARE YOU MARRIED pants: NO pants: I MEAN SURE spigot: GREAT, HERE'S WHAT YOU DO spigot: NEXT TIME YOU'RE SINGING "DANNY BOY" spigot: AND YOU GET TO THE PART ABOUT THE PIPES spigot: ABOUT HOW THE PIPES / THE PIPES / ARE CALLING spigot: ASK YOUR WIFE IF SHE CAN HEAR THIS PIPE CALLING spigot: THEN PUSH HER EAR AGAINST YOUR PENIS spigot: YOU CAN DO THIS IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT OR DURING THE DAY
#bored-pants
#danny-boy
#marriage
#minecraft-background
#no-title-card
#pants-spigot
#penis
#singing
#wife
9,310 9/13/2024 apropos of nothing
deuce: DOESN'T MATTER HOW LONG AFTER THE NUKE GOES OFF, WITH NO OTHER FOOD, YOU'LL STILL EAT ME
#cannibalism
#deuce-solo
#no-title-card
#nuclear-weapons
#single-panel
#urinal-background
9,311 9/14/2024 you don't know lucky you are boy
spigot: JEAN-CHARLES YOU FOOL spigot: OKAY I'M A RUSSIAN ASSET pants: ARE YOU C.I.A. THOUGH spigot: I DON'T WATCH STAR TREK
#beatles
#blue-background
#jean-charles
#no-title-card
#pants-spigot
#russia
#sfw
#spy
#star-trek
9,312 9/15/2024 so what
spigot: WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME BEING FAT WAS SO GREAT
#fat
#fatness
#mars-background
#no-title-card
#rhetorical-question
#sfw
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#uncredited-character
9,313 9/16/2024 some kind of blast anyway
deuce: I HAVE NEVER HAD A BAJA BLAST pants: WHAT ABOUT A RODNEY BLAST
#baja-blast
#deuce-pants
#ejaculation
#facial
#mountain-dew
#no-title-card
#porn
#rodney-moore
#single-panel
#trailer-background
9,314 9/17/2024 jelly beans
spigot: MA'AM, EVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE FINE. spigot: I'M A PARAMEDIC. YOU'RE HAVING A STROKE. spigot: PLEASE LAY DOWN WITH BOTH FEET SLIGHTLY ELEVATED OVER MY SHOULDERS :jellybeans: OUT OF BOTH POCKETS spigot: WHEN ARE WE GOING TO HAVE TWO FACTOR ***DEAUTH***
#authentication
#caption
#harriet
#jellybeans
#medical-advice
#potomac-background
#punctuation
#spigot-solo
#uncredited-character
9,315 9/18/2024 banana butthole math
deuce: BUTTHOLE + BANANA = BUTTHOLE WITH A BANANA deuce: THESE ARE FACTS
#anal-insertion
#banana
#banana-background
#butt
#deuce-solo
#facts
#math
#no-title-card
#somber-deuce
#yellow-background
9,316 9/19/2024 randy quaid
spigot: AM I TOO SCARED TO WATCH MIDNIGHT CROSSING AGAIN pants: MAYBE JUST WATCH MIDNIGHT RUN INSTEAD
#fear
#minecraft-background
#movies
#pants-spigot
#sfw
#single-panel
9,317 9/20/2024 phz
pants: THE WORD "CUM" ROT13'D IS `PHZ` PRONOUNCED "FIZZ" AND THAT'S PERFECT pants: SO PERFECT deuce: THE SOUND OF SOMEONE BEING STRANGLED
#angry-panel
#cum
#deuce-pants
#mountain-background
#no-title-card
#red-text
#rot-13
9,318 9/21/2024 sabotage
spigot: NOW ALL OF LEBANON'S ZENITH TELEVISIONS AND SONY DISCMANS AND NINTENDO POWER GLOVES ARE EXPLODING
#bomb
#current-events
#gotham-background
#israel
#nintendo
#no-title-card
#sfw
#single-panel
#sony
#spigot-solo
#television
#video-games
#zenith
9,319 9/22/2024 push and turn
spigot: IF I PRETEND IT'S A DIALING WAND IT'S NOT GAY effigy: ......YOU GUYS HIRING?
#effigy-spigot
#not-gay
#single-panel
#woodring-field-background
9,320 9/23/2024 but i see you've won first prize
deuce: HEY CHECK OUT MY WANG pants: CLOSING MY EYES TIGHT, ONE EYELID TWITCHES AS I PEEK deuce: SURPRISE!!!!! IT'S A WANG pants: PLACING A BOW ON TOP
#deuce-pants
#no-title-card
#wang
#woodring-stairs-background
9,321 9/24/2024 grope^2
pants: GROPE GROPE pants: THINKING ABOUT ROBOCOP
#black-background
#groping
#movies
#multiple-backgrounds
#no-title-card
#pants-solo
#robocop
#starbucks-background
9,322 9/25/2024 tag yourself
pants: TAG YOURSELF: pants: THE PSYCHOPATHIC PERSONALITY pants: THE ALCOHOLIC pants: THE DRUG ADDICT pants: THE SEX OFFENDER pants: THE MENTALLY RETARDED pants: MENTAL DISORDERS IN OLD AGE deuce: WHICH ONE DON'T I CHECK
#aging
#alcoholism
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#huffy-pants
#mountain-background
#no-title-card
#okay-pants-face
#old
#retard
#weird-pants-face
9,323 9/26/2024 requirements
pants: SITTING / STANDING / WALKING pants: LIFTING/ CARRYING pants: PUSHING / PULLING pants: BENDING / STOOPING pants: SQUATTING / KNEELING / CRAWLING pants: TWISTING / TURNING pants: CLIMBING / BALANCING pants: REACHING pants: GRASPING / MANIPULATING effigy: OUT OF MY LEAGUE, I KNOW
#effigy-pants
#fed-up-pants
#gunmetal-background
#huffy-pants
#pants-has-eyelids
#reach-around
#sfw
#weird-pants-face
9,324 9/27/2024 trade craft
spigot: MY DICKLICKING TRADECRAFT
#dicklicking
#gay
#no-title-card
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#woodring-field-background
9,325 9/28/2024 subscribers only
spigot: WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN'T LICK DICK ON MY OWN PATREON PAGE
#censorship
#dicklicking
#minecraft-background
#patreon
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
9,326 9/29/2024 ad copy
pants: CARBOHYDRATES HELP ME PLAY spigot: THE THICK, SEASONED CRUST STUFFED WITH MOZZARELLA AND PEPPERONI THAT MY BODY NEEDS pants: MY DAYS ARE LONG AND I'M CONSTANTLY ON MY FEET. THAT MEANS A FULL-SIZE SAFEWAY SHEET CAKE WITH RICH FUDGEY CREAM CHEESE, CHERRY FILLING AND FIVE DISTINCT BUTTERCREAMS spigot: TEACH FIFTY COLLEGE STUDENTS ENGLISH LIT WITHOUT MY MORNING STOUFFER'S FAMILY SIZE LASAGNA? NO WAY pants: NO, PEOPLE MIGHT THINK YOU'RE BRINGING IT TO CLASS AND SHARING IT WITH POOR PEOPLE spigot: BEING A MOM MEANS I'M CONSTANTLY ON THE GO, FROM EARLY MEETINGS TO LATE-NIGHT HOMEWORK. THAT'S WHY I VISIT ALEXANDER'S STEAK HOUSE AT LEAST TEN TIMES A DAY pants: NO, WHO SAYS YOU'RE NOT BRINGING YOUR WHOLE STUPID FAMILY TO THE RESTAURANT OR JUST PICKING UP FOOD FOR COWORKERS ??? spigot: THIS SUCKS SO MUCH
#advertising
#disappointed-pants
#eyelids
#failed-comedy
#fatness
#fed-up-pants
#food
#gluttony
#huffy-pants
#no-title-card
#pants-spigot
#potomac-background
#really-weird-pants-face
#sad-pants
#sfw
9,327 9/30/2024 excuse me but
pants: EXCUSE ME BUT I'M A LEATHER-CLAD VAMPIRE ASSASSIN deuce: BLOGGING ABOUT NOT HAVING BLOGGED IN A WHILE spigot: IF YOU LIKE WATCHING ME STROKE IT SO MUCH HOW COME I HAVE TO PAY YOU PER VIDEO
#blog
#deuce-pants-spigot
#joi
#multiple-backgrounds
#vampire
#vampyre
#viscera
#woodring-field-background
#woodring-room-background
#woodring-stairs-background
9,328 10/1/2024 as per
spigot: ANYONE ELSE GOONING IN 4K
#4k
#gooning
#masturbation
#porn
#spigot-solo
#violetgrey-background
9,329 10/2/2024 at home and in uniform
deuce: YOUR MOMMA WEARS COMBAT BOOTS deuce: AND I WANT TO THANK HER FOR HER SERVICE
#blue-background
#deuce
#deuce-solo
#military
#mom
#multiple-backgrounds
#no-title-card
#sfw
#somber-deuce
9,330 10/3/2024 play ground
spigot: SUCKING DICK BEHIND THE FAKE SALOON FRONT AT THE PLAYGROUND spigot: GETTING CAUGHT AND MOVING THREE FEET TO THE FAKE JAIL
#dicksucking
#indecent-exposure
#jail
#minecraft-background
#prison
#spigot-solo
9,331 10/4/2024 two great tastes
deuce: COULD I HAVE MORE FENTANYL IN MY FENTANYL
#deuce-solo
#drugs
#fentanyl
#orange-background
#overdose
#single-panel
9,332 10/5/2024 what's that
deuce: IF I CREATED A BAND I'D CALL IT METALLICA deuce: WHAT'S THAT (FINGER TO EAR) OH
#copyright
#deuce-solo
#different-bathroom-bg
#metallica
#sfw
#somber-deuce
9,333 10/6/2024 over night
spigot: NEED A HYPNOSIS TAPE THAT HELPS ME STOP BREATHING THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT SO I DIE
#hypnosis
#mousehole
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#suicide
#typo
#woodring-room-background
9,334 10/7/2024 more pac than man
effigy: I MEAN, WHO AM I? WHAT IS MY MOTIVATION??? pants: YOUR NAME IS CARL AND YOU ARE TRYING TO EAT ALL THE DOTS BEFORE THE GHOSTS GET YOU
#acting
#effigy-pants
#high-res
#pac-man
#sfw
#single-panel
#video-games
#yellow-background
9,335 10/8/2024 like water for moses
deuce: GOD IS TELLING ME TO ORDER A PIZZA deuce: I'M LIKE MOSES WITH THE THING SO I'D BETTER FUCKING ORDER ONE pants: SHIT YEAH MOSES HE (CONFUSED) HE HAD THAT THING AND (PAUSE) HE'S LIKE YOU deuce: RIGHT pants: SO WE'RE ON THE SAME PAGE
#bible
#deuce-pants
#pizza
#potomac-background
9,336 10/9/2024 white noise
spigot: FALL ASLEEP FAST TO THE SOUNDS OF DICKLICKING
#dicklicking
#gunmetal-background
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
9,337 10/10/2024 two regular joes
deuce: I TOOK A NAP pants: RESPLENDENT deuce: VERDANT pants: BROAD deuce: FAGGY pants: HELLA FAGGY deuce: FUCKLES pants: 900 PENISES deuce: DOUBLESTRUCK Q
#deuce-pants
#weird-pants-face
#woodring-field-background
9,338 10/11/2024 check local listings for showtimes
spigot: ONE FOR JOKER 2 PLEASE pants: SORRY CAN'T LET YOU IN UNTIL YOU SAY FOLIE A DEUX spigot: GOODBYE
#french
#joker
#movies
#sfw
#starbucks-background
9,339 10/12/2024 bargain pricing since 1982
spigot: T DEUCE YOU DON'T SEEM PARTICULARLY OBSESSED WITH ANY OF THE NEW FALL SWEATERS AT ROSS DRESS FOR LESS deuce: I JUST WEAR MUMUS
#deuce-spigot
#fashion
#gunmetal-background
#muumuu
#no-title-card
#ross
#ross-dress-for-less
#sfw
#shopping
#single-panel
#sweater
#typo
9,340 10/13/2024 popping noises
deuce: I FOR ONE CAN'T WAIT UNTIL THE AI BUBBLE BURSTS pants: TAKE IT OFF
#ai
#deuce-pants
#mountain-background
#sfw
#single-panel
9,341 10/14/2024 sitting in dog shit
spigot: :MEGA: spigot: WHEN I SAY HURRICANE / YOU SAY GERT spigot: WHO KILLED LAURA SCUDDER'S spigot: EXPLAIN EXACTLY WHY SITTING IN DOG SHIT DOESN'T MAKE ME AN INFLUENCER
#dogshit
#emoji
#no-title-card
#orange-background
#spigot-solo
#twin-peaks
9,342 10/15/2024 masturbating to the weather channel
pants: ANYBODY ELSE MASTURBATING TO THE WEATHER CHANNEL RIGHT NOW spigot: TOO BUSY CONNECTING WITH OTHER HAMS AND CONDUCTING EMERGENCY RESCUE OPS (OPERATIONS) pants: WELL, WHEN YOU GET A CHANCE, PERFORM SOME SELF-CARE: STAY HYDRATED, GET SOME REST AND MASTURBATE TO THE WEATHER CHANNEL deuce: AND WE'LL BE REPEATING THIS GAG ALL WEEK (WEATHER CHANNEL WEEK ON BONEQUEST) spigot: EXCUSE ME BUT THE AMATEUR EXTRAS ARE TALKING deuce: AMATEUR EXTRAS HAVE BIG DICKS deuce: THIS IS FACT spigot: HOW ARE WE MAKING CRANK CALLS THESE DAYS, BURNER PHONES OR WAR DIALERS OR SOFTWARE DEFINED TELEPHONY OR WHAT'S THE RACKET deuce: HOME LANDLINE deuce: DON'T BE A BITCH
#blue-background
#crank-call
#deuce-pants-spigot
#emergency
#ham-radio
#masturbation
#telephone
#telephony
#weather
9,343 10/16/2024 our sony cyber-shots
pants: LET'S BUMP OUR SONY CYBER-SHOTS INTO EACH OTHER LIKE THEY'RE KISSING OR HUMPING
#cybershot
#digital-camera
#humping
#kiss
#kissing
#pants-solo
#single-panel
#sony
#swamp-background
9,344 10/17/2024 say it ain't so
spigot: WAIT TIL I FIND OUT THE "ALGORITHM" IS JUST A HIGHLY POLISHED MIRROR OF MY OWN SHIT CHOICES IN LIFE spigot: YOU PEOPLE HAVE STOOD IN MY WAY LONG ENOUGH, I'M LICKING A DICK pants: SAY IT AIN'T SO spigot: I WISH ADAM SAVAGE COULD SIT ON HIS HANDS AND MOUTH AT THE SAME TIME spigot: COMPUTER I SAID **BIG** TITS
#adam-savage
#algorithm
#computer
#dick
#dicklicking
#no-title-card
#pants-spigot
#shit
#teal-background
#tits
9,345 10/18/2024 fri - sun
spigot: I UNDERSTAND WHY YOU'RE CALLING IT THE ART OF DICKLICKING BUT DOES IT NEED TO BE A THREE-DAY SEMINAR AT THE HILTON
#dicklicking
#no-title-card
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#yellow-background
9,346 10/19/2024 eating carnitas on the toilet
deuce: EATING CARNITAS ON THE TOILET WITH MY SHIRT OFF WHILE CRYING spigot: WHY ARE YOU CRYING WHEN THAT'S THE VERY BEST MOMENT OF ANY MAN'S LIFE deuce: BECAUSE THINGS CAN NEVER GET ANY BETTER THAN THIS MOMENT spigot: YOU CAN DO IT AGAIN FOR BREAKFAST
#breakfast
#brown-background
#carnitas
#crying
#depression
#deuce-spigot
#deucegrin
#food
#mexican-food
#no-title-card
#somber-deuce
#toilet
9,347 10/20/2024 k*mart
spigot: LONG, LOUD TURKEY GOBBLES INTO THE K-MART INTERCOM
#gobble
#intercom
#k-mart
#sfw
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#turkey
#woodring-room-background
9,348 10/21/2024 of course of course
spigot: OF COURSE AMERICANS AREN'T STOCKPILING BIDETS
#america
#bidet
#potomac-background
#sfw
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
9,349 10/22/2024 wi fi
spigot: IN THE GAY NEIGHBORHOOD JUST SCROLLING THROUGH THE WIFI ACCESS POINTS spigot: KNOB HEIGHTS spigot: YOUR HANDY HANDYMAN spigot: GLORYHOLE 4 HOMELESS spigot: VERIZON
#batman
#computer
#computers
#gay
#glory-hole
#gotham-background
#spigot-solo
#ssid
#verizon
#wifi
9,350 10/23/2024 driving it off the lot
spigot: YOUR PENIS DEPRECIATES THE MOMENT YOU PULL IT OUT OF YOUR PANTS
#accounting
#cars
#depreciation
#ebitda
#net-present-value
#no-title-card
#penis
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#woodring-stairs-background
9,351 10/24/2024 sure is fun
spigot: SURE IS FUN TO FIX WINDOWS AUDIO + BLUETOOTH PROBLEMS ALL DAY
#audio
#blue-background
#bluetooth
#computer
#computers
#fun
#microsoft
#no-title-card
#sfw
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#windows
9,352 10/25/2024 meeting you in the middle
deuce: DISMEMBER ME deuce: WAIT WAIT I MEANT REMEMBER ME NO AUUUUUUUUUUGH pants: MEETING YOU IN THE MIDDLE AND DEFENESTRATING YOU
#coy-pants
#defenestration
#deuce-pants
#dismemberment
#memory
#woodring-room-background
9,353 10/26/2024 omgod
spigot: OH MY GOD YOU POO YOUR PANTS ONE TIME AND YOU'RE THE POO YOUR PANTS GUY
#accident
#brown-background
#deuce-pants-spigot
#laughing-deuce
#no-title-card
#poo
#single-panel
#soiling-myself
9,354 10/27/2024 you're the best
pants: BABY BABY BABY YOU'RE THE BEST pants: YOU'RE THE BEST pants: BABY YOU'RE THE BEST pants: ON MY BACK, BEATING OFF TO THE HEAVENS deuce: :DRESS:
#beating-off
#deuce-pants
#dress
#emoji
#singing
#somber-deuce
#white-background
9,355 10/28/2024 reported to irs
spigot: PI CALCULATED TO 105 TRILLION DIGITS, SMASHING WORLD RECORD spigot: WE GET IT, IT'S AROUND 3 pants: BONEQUEST ENDORSES KAMALA HARRIS deuce: THANKS, WE JUST LOST OUR 501(C) TAX EXEMPTION
#2024-election
#deuce-pants-spigot
#election
#kamala-harris
#math
#mountain-background
#pi
#politics
#sfw
#world-record
9,356 10/29/2024 when i was a child
spigot: THE LONGSHOREMEN ARE EXPECTED TO RETURN TO WORK TOMORROW spigot: HGLBLGLTHGLHULG spigot: NO YOU MAY NOT BORROW THE LUBRIDERM spigot: WHEN I WAS A CHILD I LICKED DICK AS A CHILD
#bible
#dicklicking
#lube
#no-title-card
#ocean
#spigot-solo
#union
#woodring-field-background
9,357 10/30/2024 mansplainin'
spigot: MAYBE WOMEN'S RESTROOMS ARE SO DISGUSTING BECAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY PLACE THEY CAN EXPRESS THEMSELVES WITHOUT A MAN CHIMING IN
#mars-background
#sfw
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#women
9,358 10/31/2024 anyone at all
spigot: DOES ANYONE CARE I'M THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PENIS
#charles-dickens
#christmas
#mcdonalds-background
#penis
#red-background
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
9,359 11/1/2024 you blow the hole, i'll do the fingering
spigot: IS ALIEN ROMULUS JUST GOING TO BE A BUNCH OF SKIBIDI ZOOMERS DIRECTED BY A EUROPEAN SKIBIDI ZOOMER spigot: WILL THE XENOMORPHS HAVE HAIR AND MAKEUP TIPS spigot: WHO WILL THE SECRET ANDROID BE THIS TIME OKAY THERE HE IS, IN THE MY LITTLE PONY SHIRT THAT SAYS CINNAMON ROLLS NOT GENDER ROLES spigot: WHY IS STAN LEE MAKING A CAMEO
#alien
#gen-z
#marvel
#movies
#science-fiction
#sfw
#skibidi
#space-background
#spigot-solo
#stan-lee
#zoomers
9,360 11/2/2024 future past
pants: IT IS 1999 AND I AM MAKING WEB COMICS: I HAVE EATEN THE ENTIRE SLEEVE OF OREOS pants: IT IS 2024 AND I AM MAKING WEB COMICS: THE ENTIRE SLEEVE OF OREOS HAS BEEN EATEN spigot: ONLY YEGGS WHAT WENT TO COLLEGE UNDERSTAND THAT COMICS JOKE
#gluttony
#mars-background
#millers-crossing
#oreos
#pants-spigot
#sfw
#the-high-hat
#webcomic
9,361 11/3/2024 rot13'd for your protection
spigot: MAYBE THE UNITED STATES MILITARY OPERATIVES STATIONED AT AREA 51 SHOULD DIRECT SOME OF THEIR PRECIOUS ANTI-AIRCRAFT HIGH PULSE MICROWAVE RADIATION `EVTUG URER NG QRRM AHGF`
#area-51
#military
#nuts-of-spigot
#pink-text
#rot-13
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#ufo
#urinal-background
#war
9,362 11/4/2024 a place of honor
pants: CAVE JOHNSON HERE pants: I'M GAY FOR BI deuce: THIS PLACE IS NOT A PLACE OF HONOR. spigot: I KNOW WHERE THAT QUOTE LIVES BUT I CAN STILL IMAGINE WORF IN A DRESS SAYING IT TO Q
#bi
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#gay
#gunmetal-background
#no-title-card
#okay-pants-face
#portal
#star-trek
#worf
9,363 11/5/2024 jock jams
pants: WATCH ME BEAT OFF WITH NOTHING BUT MY HANDS AND PORNOGRAPHY deuce: YOU SURE NEED A LOT OF PROPS pants: NOT ALL OF US CAN DO IT WITH OUR MINDS ALONE **DEUCE**
#beat-off
#deuce-pants
#masturbation
#no-title-card
#porn
#weird-pants-face
#woodring-field-background
9,364 11/6/2024 unbeatoffable (in every way)
deuce: YAY AMAZON HAS ANNIE CHUN'S PHO SOUP AGAIN spigot: SHE SOUNDS LIKE AN UNBEATOFFABLE PORN STAR deuce: OR DOES SHE?!?! spigot: WHY DO YOU NEVER PET MY SPECIAL NEEDS CHILD
#amazon
#beatoffable
#children
#deuce-spigot
#food
#porn
#woodring-stairs-background
9,365 11/7/2024 art bell eats poo
spigot: MAYBE IF EXTRA-TERRESTRIALS HAVE NO DISCERNABLE EARLOBES (AS WE LEARNED ON ART BELL'S COAST TO COAST A.M.) THEY SHOULD GO BACK TO FRANCE
#aliens
#anatomy
#art-bell
#coast2coastam
#coneheads
#france
#mars-background
#sfw
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#ufo
9,366 11/8/2024 disk full
pants: DOWNLOAD ME deuce: YOU ARE TOO LARGE TO FIT ON MY THUMB DRIVE deuce: NO OFFENSE, FATASS
#a-love-story
#computers
#deuce-pants
#download
#drunk-deuce
#fatness
#fed-up-pants
#lavender-background
#software
#usb
9,367 11/9/2024 putter about
pants: WHO WANTS TO PUTTER AROUND WITH MY BALLS pants: THIS COULD BE YOU: pants: :GOLFER::SKIN-TONE-2:
#balls
#coy-pants
#double-entendre
#emoji
#golf
#green-background
#no-title-card
#pants-solo
#sfw
9,368 11/10/2024 great news indeed
spigot: GREAT NEWS EVERYONE, YOU CAN NOW SELECT WHETHER YOU WANT YOUR CAM WHORES NUDE OR CLOTHED, AND IF YOU'D LIKE TO SEE MEN ALSO (CHECKED ON BY DEFAULT) AND WE REMOVED TAGS AND CATEGORIES AND THE DEFAULT VIEW WILL BE WHAT TOTAL STRANGERS LIKE
#camwhores
#enshittification
#photo-background
#porn
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#wood-panel-background
9,369 11/11/2024 annie hall
pants: BOY THE PENISES AT THIS PLACE ARE REALLY TERRIBLE spigot: AND SUCH SMALL PORTIONS
#annie-hall
#no-title-card
#pants-spigot
#penis
#urinal-background
#woody-allen
9,370 11/12/2024 word on the street
spigot: T PANTS I'VE HEARD DANCING CAN LEAD TO DRINKING pants: AND COCKSUCKING pants: S-SO I'VE HEARD
#cocksucking
#coy-pants
#dancing
#drinking
#no-title-card
#pants-spigot
#woodring-stairs-background
9,371 11/13/2024 heart
spigot: JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW I'M THINKING OF YOU AND I'M GLAD WE'RE FRIENDS pants: :HEARTS: spigot: SIR THE REACTION EMOJI IS LITERALLY A BIG FAT FUCK YOU
#emoji
#friendship
#fuck-you
#okay-pants-face
#pants-spigot
#woodring-den-background
9,372 11/14/2024 under da dome a hip hop opera
pants: T SPIGOT DO YOU REMEMBER THAT TIME WE WERE UNDER THE DOME spigot: PEOPLE KEPT TELLING ME NOT TO LEAN ON THE DOME OR SMUDGE IT LIKE I WAS TOUCHING THEIR MONITOR
#no-title-card
#pants-spigot
#sfw
#under-the-dome
#woodring-room-background
9,373 11/15/2024 makin' shit up
spigot: MAKING SHIT UP IS 100X MORE SATISFYING THAN MAKING SHIT WORK
#mountain-background
#philosophy
#shit
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#work
9,374 11/16/2024 lunchtime
pants: WAKE UP AND SMELL THE PANTS pants: YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO pants: WHAT'S FOR LUNCH ANYWAY
#coy-pants
#fat
#food
#hurray-pants
#lunch
#mousehole
#no-title-card
#pants-solo
#sfw
#woodring-room-background
9,375 11/17/2024 kings and queens
pants: ARE WE JACK OFF KINGS deuce: QUEENS pants: COOL
#a-love-story
#angry-panel
#huffy-pants
#jacking-off
#king
#masturbation
#no-title-card
#queen
#royalty
#somber-deuce
#woodring-stairs-background
9,376 11/18/2024 commerical break
spigot: BONEQUEST, TUESDAYS AT 10 ON KBHK TV44 CABLE CHANNEL 12 pants: SPIGOT GETS A VISIT FROM AN OLD ARMY BUDDY. DEUCE IS MOLESTED. (TV-14) spigot: WHY IS DR. DON ROSE HONKING THAT LADY'S TITS
#honk
#nostalgia
#okay-pants-face
#pants-spigot
#static-background
#television
#tits
9,377 11/19/2024 that voyager episode
deuce: REMEMBER THAT VOYAGER EPISODE WHERE TUVOK WAS TRAPPED ON A PLANET WITH SCARED CHILDREN AND IT TURNED OUT THEY WERE OLD PEOPLE ABOUT TO DIE BUT THEIR SPECIES AGES BACKWARDS pants: WHAT deuce: I MEAN WHAT pants: WHAT deuce: !!! pants: !!!1
#deuce-pants
#nerd
#no-title-card
#okay-pants-face
#sfw
#space-background
#star-trek
9,378 11/20/2024 eeeeeeeeeeeeee too cheap to meter
deuce: MY URINE IS TRULY TOO CHEAP TO METER pants: URINE IN GRAMS deuce: USE WHATEVER UNIT YOU LIKE, KID pants: WELL IT'S LIQUID SO I WOULD THINK FL OZ pants: BUT AS LONG AS WE'RE CONSIDERING THE WEIGHT OF THE CONTAINER THAN GRAMS IS FINE pants: OH GOD YOUR FAT HANDS AROUND MY FAT NECK deuce: MOST LIQUIDS WHICH ARE JUST WATER PLUS CONTAMINANTS WILL HAVE VERY SIMILAR DENSITIES deuce: SO THE TWO MEASURES ARE REALLY EUIVALEEEEEEEEEE deuce: EEEEEEEEEEEEEE FIRE ALARMS pants: RUNNING TO THE EXIT pants: RUNNING WHEN I SHOULD BE WALKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#fat
#fire
#starbucks-background
#typo
#urine
9,379 11/21/2024 a polite request
pants: PLEASE CHOKE ME deuce: SCHEDULING AN APPOINTMENT AT THE BIO-REPURPOSING VATS ON YOUR BEHALF
#choking
#gunmetal-background
#helldivers-2
#high-res
#single-panel
9,380 11/22/2024 lunch date
spigot: T DEUCE SHOULD WE DO LUNCH AT TGI FRIDAYS OR POV JUGGFUCKERS deuce: WHY NOT BOTH
#deuce-spigot
#food
#mountain-background
#porn
#single-panel
9,381 11/23/2024 microplastics
spigot: HOO BOY WHAT AM I GONNA DO ABOUT ALL THESE MICROPLASTICS IN MY OCEANS AND BALLS
#blue-background
#nuts-of-spigot
#pollution
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
9,382 11/24/2024 connection closed
pants: ```CONNECTION CLOSED BY FOREIGN HOST``` spigot: ARE YOU SAD THAT I'M MINDLESS BETA GOONBOT WHO NEEDS TO EMPTY MY WALLET spigot: HOW IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE FOR SOMETHING AS COOL AS BEATING OFF TO GET DUMBER AND STUPIDER AND LAMER spigot: EITHER YOU DO OR DO NOT DARE ME TO LAY MY PENIS ATOP MY MACINTOSH
#beating-off
#computers
#macintosh
#masturbation
#pants-spigot
#penis
#urinal-background
9,383 11/25/2024 distilled, potable, purified, filtered, deionized
spigot: TOOTHLESS, EUNUCHED WEB COMICS spigot: ONLY THE FINEST DISTILLED, POTABLE, PURIFIED, FILTERED, DEIONIZED, SPARKLING ARTESIAN SPRING MINERAL WATER TO CLEAN THE JIZZ OFF MY DESK pants: ALMOST 9AM AND I ONLY HAVE 9,000 CALORIES LEFT FOR THE DAY spigot: UNLESS YOU GO BACK TO SLEEP AND WAKE UP AGAIN
#gluttony
#jizz
#jizzmop
#mineral-water
#no-title-card
#pants-spigot
#sleep
#spigot-shrug
#webcomic
#woodring-stairs-background
9,384 11/26/2024 before i have sex
spigot: BEFORE I HAVE SEX I PREPARE THE INSTALLSHIELD WIZARD
#installshield
#no-title-card
#sex
#single-panel
#software
#space-background
#spigot-solo
9,385 11/27/2024 here
pants: THE NEW TOM HANKS MOVIE COULD ONLY AFFORD ONE CAMERA AND ONE TRIPOD
#mountain-background
#movies
#pants
#pants-solo
#sfw
#single-panel
#tom-hanks
#tripod
9,386 11/28/2024 i want to believe
spigot: WHEN SOMEONE SAYS THEY LICK DICK . . . . . . . spigot: BELIEVE THEM
#dicklicking
#no-title-card
#spigot-solo
#starbucks-background
9,387 11/29/2024 character study
deuce: HI STUPIDS AND STUPIDETTES pants: BARF ON MY COCK OR DIE TRYING spigot: GIVE THE GIFT OF FARTS
#deuce-pants-spigot
#die-trying
#farts
#roman-shower
#stupid
#vomit
#woodring-stairs-background
9,388 11/30/2024 be honest
spigot: WHICH WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE IN YOUR MOUTH: MY PENIS OR A PANERA BREAD CIABATTA DIPPER
#food
#mountain-background
#panera
#penis
#penis-of-spigot
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
9,389 12/1/2024 dis clai mer
spigot: I REMIND YOU THAT THE CIABATTA DIPPER REQUIRES A CIABATTA DIAPER
#diaper
#food
#mountain-background
#panera
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
9,390 12/2/2024 influencer, thought leader
deuce: I THINK OF MYSELF MORE AS AN `INFLUENCER` RATHER THAN A _THOUGHT LEADER_
#brown-text
#deuce-solo
#internet
#red-text
#sfw
#single-panel
#urinal-background

EPISODES: 2024

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