pants: SOMETHING IS VERY WRONG WITH MY BEATOFF TECHNIQUE deuce: IT'S PEDESTRIANAT BEST pants: SHEETROCK DAMAGE pants: STUCK IN CRAWLSPACE deuce: AMATEURISH pants: AND NOW I HAVE SOME EXCITING NEWS: pants: [SUCKS ALL THE DICKS]

pants: T SPIGOT PLEASE JUST WEAR THE DRESS AND DANCE AROUND spigot: DOO DEE BOO I'M A BALLERINA spigot: DOO BONK MY TOE pants: DO YOU WANT AN AMBULANCE spigot: I JUST NEED TO SIT HERE FOR A MINUTE

deuce: DICK ::= BALLS HAIR SHAFT HEAD SPURT deuce: BALLS ::= "8" deuce: HAIR ::= "#"? deuce: SHAFT ::= "="+ deuce: HEAD ::= "D" deuce: SPURT ::= "~"*

pants: [SIGNAL SIGSEGV: SEGMENTATION VIOLATION CODE=0X2 ADDR=0X0 PC=0X10503A938] pants: GOROUTINE 120 [RUNNING]: pants: GITHUB.COM/BONEQUEST/LIB /PARSER/COCKSUCKING(0X140000B5930, 0X4FB, 0X0) COY-PANTS.GIF pants: PANIC: RUNTIME ERROR: INVALID MEMORY ADDRESS OR NIL POINTER DEREFERENCE AHLGHAULGHULAG WHO CARES I JUST WANT TO BEAT OFF TO DICKS HLAUGHULAGHAG

effigy: ZOLPIDEM HAS BEEN USED ON VICTIMS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT.[59][60] pants: BUT IN FAIRNESS SO HAS MY DONG

deuce: OKAY SO YOU'RE STRANDED ON A REMOTE ISLAND WITH VICTORIA PARIS, CHRISTY CANYON, AND ASHLYN GERE: WHICH TWO DO YOU KILL AND EAT spigot: WELL ASHLYN GERE WAS ON X-FILES ONCE SO THAT'S MINUS TEN POINTS AND CHRISTY CANYON'S JUST PLAIN FLOPPY SO I WOULD BONK VICTORIA PARIS ON THE HEAD WITH A COCONUT AND SHE'D BE THE MOTOR ON MY CHRISTY-BOOB RAFT/FLOAT deuce: WHAT MEANS OF PROPULSION ?!?!? spigot: S-E-X BABY!!!!!!!!!!

pants: SUCKING OFF THE MONSTER OF THE LAKE pants: GET GEN X ON THE HORN, I CAN'T OPEN THIS PDF pants: OOF REALLY WEDGED IN HERE :WOOD: pants: PLEASE HELP ME I'M FAT AND STUCK pants: ARM TRANS PEOPLE pants: NOT EVERYTHING HAS TO BE ABOUT SOMETHING pants: JULY IS DRESSED UP AND PLAYING HER TUNE 🎶 pants: SENDING IN AN EAGLE

pants: T DEUCE WERE THOSE REALLY YOUR BALLS (IN LAST SUNDAY'S VIDEOCAST) deuce: I CALL THEM BALLCASTS deuce: I MEAN NO

pants: I AM GUNNERY SERGEANT HARTMAN YOUR SENIOR DRILL INSTRUCTOR pants: FROM NOW ON YOU ARE STEERS AND QUEERS AND A PETER PUFFER pants: NOPE, SCREWED THAT UP pants: SMASH CUT: *** VIETNAM *** pants: CHEESECAKE FACTORY ANYONE ?? pants: I GOT A SPAGHETTI AND-A THE MEATBALLS pants: A-THAT'S A-GOOD A- pants: NOPE, SHUT UP pants: JUST BE QUIET pants: ECHO ECHO ECHO ECHO

pants: <DIV ID="CROAK"> pants: <!-- DUHHHH --> pants: <!-- LET US BE RENAISSANCE FROGS -->

deuce: I'M FULL OF VIM AND VIGOR deuce: AND A NOT INCONSIDERABLE AMOUNT OF PISS

spigot: WHAT ABOUT GULF OF BONEQUEST pants: WHAT ABOUT IT pants: I'M RIPE pants: PLUCK ME FROM THE VINE

deuce: IF I HAD A NAME LIKE VINT CERF, I'D NEVER WEAR CLOTHES

deuce: WELL DOING THE LITERATURE STUFF WAS A ROYAL PAIN IN THE ASS spigot: IT IS WRONG TO DESTROY LITERATURE spigot: IT'S SO MUCH ****FUN**** TO ****READ**** spigot: I AM JUDD NELSON BEING SARCASTIC spigot: FOLKS I'VE BEEN KICKED OFF THE RAPE SURVIVOR'S E-GROUP spigot: I REALLY FEEL LIKE I HAVE BEEN VIOLATED TWICE NOW

deuce: LET ME BE CLEAR deuce: MY DONG HAS RIGHTS

spigot: THE VIRTUAL ENVIRONMENT IS ACTUALLY A TOILET WITH THE LIGHTS OFF

spigot: GLOP GLORP SENDING YOU VIRTUAL HUGS pants: I AM THE BEAT OFF KING pants: I CAN DO ANYTHING pants: IS BEATOFF ONE WORD OR TWO

spigot: YOU'RE JIZZING UP MY FACE WITH REVOLUTIONARY SPACE-AGE POLYMERS

pants: T DEUCE CAT TOYS deuce: T PANTS RRRRRRRRRRR

chante: I HIT THIS WHITE MAN chante: SIR ????? I'M REALLY SORRY ABOUT THIS !!! I GUESS I CAN'T HOLD DOWN MY E chante: DO YOU WANT TO CHECK YOUR E-MAIL ??? NO ???

spigot: VIRUS ALERT!!! spigot: SOMEBODY IS SENDING OUT A SCREENSAVER spigot: IF YOU DOWNLOAD IT YOUR HARD DRIVE WILL CRASH spigot: IT JUST WENT INTO CIRULATION YESTERDAY spigot: AS FAR AS WE KNOW spigot: BE CAREFUL !!! spigot: PLEASE DISTRIBUTE THIS TO AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN spigot: LINE UP FOR FACEFUCKING

deuce: toilet snakes are the worst pants: are they worse than toilet pigs deuce: vastly worse

spigot: MY DONG IS VISIBLE FROM SPACE spigot: THE SPACE RIGHT THERE ON YOUR FACE spigot: WELL THEN PUT ON YOUR PRESCRIPTION READING GLASSES spigot: MINE ARE FROM A GAS STATION

pants: THE SOPRANOS GUYS FIND OUT THAT VITO IS GAY HD spigot: LISA NEEDS BRACES CLASSIC SIMPSONS (10 HOUR VERSION) spigot: OKAY BACK TO HANS ZIMMER spigot: BWOMMMMMMMMMMP

spigot: BETTER JUST DRAG THIS PORN .MP4 ACROSS THE FULL WIDTH OF MY DESKTOP OVER WORK CHAT TO THE MEDIA PLA OOPS DROPPED IT

: Notes: the creature is such a : heavy-bodied animal that it seld : in the conventional manner. Inst : it would "bully" the larger creat : (aforementioned "Beast with An" : Mouth") effectively using the cr : like that of the ant and the ahpid : Oh how I hate aphids. : : Voice: Its song i : deep-toned prolo : trill. "The dronin : is hard to tell fro : as they're all pret : drinking and carr : loud noises." Bu : actually using the : larger creature as : like that of a taxi : passenger. As the : it would shout " : Climbing you!" b : likely a trick of t : everybody knows : while clever, abs : communicate wit : humans for any r

atandt: IF YOUR PHONE STILLWORKS YOU'RE NOT FIRED spigot: CAN SOMEONECHECK MY VOICEMAIL

pants: T DEUCE HAVE YOU EVER RETIRED A HUMAN BY MISTAKE deuce: NOPE, THE VOIGHT-KAMPFF TEST WORKS FINE, WANNA TRY IT pants: NAH deuce: "IF HE TAKES THE TEST HE'S A REPLICANT, SHOOT HIM" pants: SEIZE THE MEANS OF PRODUCTION

spigot: ANY OBJECTION IF I ADMINISTER THE VOIGHT-HOMPH TEST (ON MYSELF RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW) pants: WON'T YOU BREAK YOUR NECK pants: YOUR STUPID NECK spigot: NOT IF I STAND ON A CHAIR

deuce: I FORMALLY OPPOSE THE VOLSTEAD ACT

spigot: GOD BLESS THAT SLOBBERY, ENTHUSIASTIC COCKSUCKER AND HER POUTY LITTLE FUCKFACE deuce: I PARTICULARLY APPRECIATE HER SKINNY ATHLETIC BODY AND HOW THE VOLUME KNOB CAN BE TURNED TO ZERO spigot: IF I CAN'T HEAR THE CHOKING I CAN'T GET IT UP deuce: THAT'S YOUR HANGUP MAN

pants: MARIJUANA SAYS HI deuce: POSSIBLY ONE OF THE FUNNIER THINGS SAID IN BONEQUEST pants: VOTE DONGS deuce: MY VOTE CANNOT BE BOUGHT deuce: VOTING DONGS ANYWAY

pants: IT STARTS IN THE ASS pants: IT GOES FROM THERE pants: IT'S CRUEL BUT FAIR pants: AND ALSO VERY FUNNY pants: SO GET IT TOGETHER pants: VOTE FOR ME IN SEPTEMBER pants: I LIKE DICK AND I LICK IT TOO pants: THANK YOU GOOD NIGHT AMERICA

pants: FORCE ME TO DRINK FROM THE URINAL deuce: FOLD, SPIN AND/OR MUTILATE ME pants: THE UNITED STATES POSTAL SERVICE TAKES A DIM VIEW OF YOUR COMMANDS

spigot: AS OF TODAY I'VE WATCHED THE SUPERMAN TRAILER ZERO TIMES

deuce: T PANTS I LIKE YOU deuce: BUT I DO NOT LIKE WHAT YOU STAND FOR (FREE DONGS FOR EVERYONE) deuce: THAT IS NOT FISCALLY RESPONSIBLE NOR WILL IT ACHIEVE THE OUTCOME YOU WANT deuce: IT WILL JUST CAUSE RENT-SEEKING BEHAVIOR THAT WILL MAKE THE EFFECTIVE COST RISE EVEN THOUGH THE OFFICIAL PRICE OF A DONG IS $0 deuce: THE OPPORTUNITY COST OF A DONG IS THE DIFFERENCE IN PRICE BETWEEN THE DONG AND THE SECOND BEST ALTERNATIVE YOU WOULD HAVE CHOSEN HAD YOU NOT CHOSEN THE DONG deuce: WHICH QUITE FRANKLY OUGHT TO BE ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING AT ALL deuce: THE VALUE OF A DONG IS NOMINAL IF IT'S NOT INFLATION-ADJUSTED OR REAL IF IT'S INFLATION-ADJUSTED; YOU REALLY WANT THE THE INFLATION-ADJUSTED DONG VALUE deuce: VOTING DONGS ANYWAY deuce: I CALL IT DONGONOMICS

spigot: HOW MANY MORE TIMES IN LIFE DO I HAVE TO SEE THE WORD VANDERPUMP

atandt: [B atandt: [B atandt: [A atandt: [A [B[B[B[B[B[B[B[B[B[B[B atandt: [B[B[B[B[B[B{B[B[B[B[B[B[B[A[D[C[B[B atandt: [B[B[B[B[B[B[B[B spigot: [C[O[C[K[S spigot: WHAT KIND OF KEYBOARD DO I HAVE ANYWAY deuce: [E[I[E[J[O

spigot: VWOOP VWOOP (TARDIS NOISES) spigot: TINKER, TAILOR, SOLDIER, MASTURBATOR deuce: T SPIGOT LET'S TALK ABOUT IT BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING DRASTIC LIKE THAT AGAIN spigot: CAN DO! spigot: VWOOP VWOOP (TARDIS NOISES)

deuce: ARE YOU W OR Q pants: Q deuce: I SEE pants: FFF deuce: DO YOU WANT TO Q MY A pants: WHAT ABOUTYOUR E deuce: IT'S X

spigot: EXCITED FOR MORE TRUE DETECTIVE: SNOOZE COUNTRY FEATURING MUSIC BY DOG SHIT pants: W-WAIT WHERE'S TONY AND SIL AND CHRISTOPHER deuce: A-A-AND CARMELLA???

spigot: STEPHEN KING'S THE POKING deuce: IT'S SHOWTIME AT MY BALLS pants: ANOTHER BAD EXPERIENCE WITH A TONGUE DEPRESSOR spigot: I'M A FOOL FOR LOVE bung: LIFT YOUR FUCKING FEET WHEN YOU WALK OTHERWISE W.W.III spigot: AND MUFFINS WITH ICING

spigot: I'M GOING TO SMOKE THIS DOPE AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS spigot: FIVE HOOKERS?!?!?!?!?! spigot: BUT BUT spigot: WAIT spigot: REMEMBERING

spigot: CLICK HERE TO SKIP THIS AD OR WAIT 30 SECONDS. spigot: FOLDING MY HANDS RESPECTFULLY SO THE CNET CONTENT PROVIDERS CAN EARN A LIVING spigot: OTHERWISE IT'S STEALING FOLKS (STEALING)

atandt: BUHHHHHHHH SUCKING atandt: WAIT A MINUTE atandt: THIS IS NOT MY BEAUTIFUL MOUTH (atandt): PUT YOUR LOVE IN THE LOVE BOX

deuce: HOW MANY COCKS WOULD A WOODCHUCK COCK IF A WOODCOCK COULD COCK COCK deuce: WAIT GOT DISTRACTED AT THE END THERE WHAT WERE WE COCKING ABOUT

spigot: I'M GOING TO LET MY BRAIN DRIVE MY PC spigot: WAIT HANG ON EGG MCMUFFINS

spigot: BE GAY WITH ME ABOVE OVER AND ACROSS MY BALLS FACE AND HEAD AND REPEAT MY INSTRUCTIONS BACK TO ME deuce: T SPIGOT ACROSS AND OVER AND TOWARD AND HONK AND WAIT I GOT CONFUSED LET'S START OVER

pants: BUSY WITH THE DICK pants: BUSINESS AS USUAL pants: BRUSHING MY TEETH WITH DICK pants: SCRUBBING THE FLOOR WITH DICK pants: HMM I SHOULD INVADE ITALY pants: WAIT NO pants: I'LL JUST SIT HERE ON MY FAT ASS AND SUCK DICK pants: THAT WOULD BE A MORE SENSIBLE SOLUTION

spigot: wait stop spigot: do you mean to say i could beat off to premium content spigot: for free

pants: WAIT WAIT pants: WHAT KIND OF PIE

spigot: FOLKS I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR GODOT FOR A GOOD TEN-FIFTEEN MINUTES

pants: burying myself in the sand, waiting for lunch to wander within grabbing distance

deuce: LET ME IN I NEED SOME CHAPS

pants: T DEUCE WILL SIR BE PAYING $100/MO TO (BROW FURROW) TWEET YOUR SHITS deuce: I'D PAY $100/MO BUT THAT DOESN'T SEEM LIKE IT'S ENOUGH pants: PAPA I NEED FARTS deuce: I CALL IT THE _FEDIVERSE_ BECAUSE I POUND DOWN COCKS LIKE THERE'S NO TOMORROW pants: SAME, SAME spigot: I TOLD HER THE ONLY FLOPPIES I'LL COPY ARE THESE AND THEN YANKED HER TITS UP AND DOWN

deuce: GALGHALUGHUALGHUAG deuce: WAKA WAKA WAKA WAKA deuce: DEGENERATING INTO PAC-MAN SOUNDS

spigot: LAST CHANCE TO NOT WEAR YOUR GOOGLY EYEBALL GLASSES TO THE PRESS CONFERENCE spigot: I HOPE THIS ADMINISTRATION DOESN'T DISMANTLE SHOE PAVILION spigot: MY ERECTION IS HAVING ITS WORST QUARTER TO DATE spigot: YOU NEED TO WAKE THE PRESIDENT NOW, AND TELL HIM THE DEW POINT

deuce: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ pants: WAKE UP deuce: ZZZZZZZZ SNORK ZZZZZZZZZZZZ pants: WAKE UP AND FACE THE MUSIC deuce: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ pants: SERIOUSLY I NEED CHANGE FOR THE BUS

spigot: ARE YOU REALLY ASLEEP spigot: HIT HIM AGAIN

pants: WAKE UP PEOPLE pants: MY BALLS ARE GLOWING SOFTLY deuce: MAKING A MESS

spigot: PUT ON A SANTA SUIT AND CLOMP AROUND THE HOUSE spigot: CLOMP BONK DONK spigot: JINGLE BALLS / JINGLE BALLS spigot: WAKE UP FREAKS spigot: CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP spigot: CHRIST BALONEY AGAIN spigot: MY ORDER WITH AMAZON.COM HAS BEEN PROCESSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: T PANTS MY ORDER WITH AMAZON.COM HAS BEEN PROCESSED

deuce: OKAY OKAY I'M UP I'M UP pants: YOU'RE STILL DREAMING deuce: I DREAMT OF A NEW BONEQUEST HI-FI!!!11 pants: AND YOU WERE REWARDED IN REALITY pants: NOW DREAM ME $10000 FOR COKE AND HOOKERS pants: J/K MORE LIKE $8 FOR COFFEE AND A KOUIGN AMANN deuce: CAN'T YOU USE REAL WORDS pants: :NOTES: I SURE DO LOVE / TO SUCK DICK spigot: SCROLL SCROLL SCROLL LITERALLY PACKED WITH RAISINS PRUNES WALNUTS AND PECANS deuce: THE REQUEST STANDS spigot: D'OUGH deuce: IT'S BRETON FOR "BUTTER CAKE" AND THE _NEW YORK TIMES_ DESCRIBED IT AS "THE FATTEST PASTRY IN ALL OF EUROPE"

spigot: WHAT spigot: WHO spigot: BONERS

deuce: NOBODY LOVES ME pants: WALK IT OFF

deuce: HONK ON YOU pants: I SERIOUSLY DO NOT RECOMMEND THAT YOU JUST WALK UP AND HONK ALL O-- pants: HALHGLUAHGLUAH GLUAHGLUAG OKAY NEVERMIND

pants: THE WHOLE POINT OF TYING THE KANGAROO DOWN WAS SO WE COULD FUCK IT pants: WORST WALKABOUT EVER deuce: WHY WAS THIS NOT MADE CLEARER BEFORE WE STARTED THIS EXPEDITION deuce: DON'T TOUCH ME LIKE THAT

spigot: I'M A WALKING TALKING FUDGE BROWNIE spigot: HEY EVERYONE I'M RICH AND DELICIOUS spigot: I'M A CORNER PIECE

spigot: THINK OF ME AS A WALKING, TALKING BONER deuce: CLOP CLOP CLOP YAPPITY YAP YAP SQUIRT

spigot: HORRIBLE HORRIBLE WALNUTS AND PECANS IN MY FUDGE

deuce: IN / THE / BUTT spigot: NO deuce: IN / THE / BUTT spigot: SHH spigot: HORRIBLE HORRIBLE WALNUTS AND PECANS IN MY FUDGE

spigot: T DEUCE TELL PANTS I NEED MY CYNDI LAUPER TAPE BACK ALREADY pants: T DEUCE SINCE SPIGOT AND I AREN'T SPEAKING TO EACH OTHER PLEASE TELL HIM THAT UNLESS I GET MY ACTIVISION CARTRIDGES AND CAT BACK, HE'S NEVER GOING TO GET HIS TAPE pants: T DEUCE ALSO TELL HIM THAT I'M DYING OF CANCER spigot: T DEUCE THE ONLY REASON HE'S MOVING OUT IS BECAUSE I FOUND HIS GAY TAPES pants: T DEUCE TELL SPIGOT THAT HE'S ONLY EMBARRASSING HIMSELF WITH HIS BEHAVIOR spigot: LET'S TALK ABOUT HOW EMBARRASSING YOU LOOK IN MY SHIRTS AND PANTS WANDERING THROUGH THE GAY DISTRICT PRETENDING TO BE DRUNK pants: T SPIGOT I AM NOT SPEAKING TO YOU AFTER THE "LET THE HOMELESS LIVE IN THAT ROOM OFF THE LIVING ROOM BECAUSE THEY LOOK SAD AND COLD" INCIDENT spigot: I DIDN'T SAY "COLD" I SAID "POTENTIALLY WILLING TO BE GAY IN FRONT OF THE QUICKTAKE" pants: I CAN'T HEAR YOU UNLESS YOU KNOCK spigot: KNOCK KNOCK pants: FUCK YOU spigot: NO FUCK YOU pants: OW spigot: GET OFF pants: QUIT PULLING MY HAIR spigot: NO BITING

deuce: ALSO CAN EVERYONE PLEASE *NOT* WANG CHUNG TONIGHT BECAUSE IT'S STARTING TO MAKE A BIT OF A MESS

deuce: CAN WE PLEASE TALK ABOUT THE WANG INCIDENT (I MEAN IT'S TIME WE FINALLY FACED IT) pants: I AM NOT READY YET deuce: LIVE IN THE NOW

spigot: I DON'T EVEN THINK "WANGLY" IS A WORD BUT CLEARLY MY CARDKEY IS BROKEN spigot: MAYBE MY ATM CARD spigot: MAYBE MY LIBRARY CARD spigot: MAYBE MY STARBUCKS CARD spigot: I APPEAR TO BE FIRED spigot: THE WRAPPER SAID THERE WOULD BE CHOCOLATE CHIPS spigot: BUT INSTEAD IN ONE THERE WERE RAISINS spigot: ALSO I CANNOT TELL IF THAT IS AN ALMOND

spigot: T PANTS NBC SHOULD CALL THE SHOW "WANGS" AND IT SHOULD HAVE MORE DICKS IN IT pants: WE'LL START A LETTER-WRITING CAMPAIGN

spigot: what part of wank it **now** do you just not understand pants: how ya doin there skip deuce: I'll wank it when I'm damn good and ready deuce: okay I'm ready

spigot: CLOSING THE DOOR AND DECLARING WANKRUPTCY spigot: (FAPTER 11)

pants: WANNA WATCH ME PISS

spigot: WANNA FEEL OLD:1998 WAS 3 YEARS AGO

spigot: HE'S ALL "WANNA POUNDA DOPE" spigot: AND I SAY YES SIR spigot: AND THE NEXT THING I KNOW HE'S REALLY POUNDING IT INTO MY FACE!!!!!! spigot: THEN I REALIZE I AM THE DOPE

deuce: WANT TO KISS pants: YOU?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??! deuce: MAYBE

pants: THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT pants: THIS IS WHAT YOU GET pants: WANT, GET

deuce: B-2 STEALTH BOMBERS MAKE COMBAT DEBUT ?? I HOPE NOT AS WHAT THEY WERE ORIGINALLY DESIGNED FOR spigot: THESE BOMBS ARE DROPPING COURTESY OF TACO BELL AND PEPSI !!!!!!!!! spigot: YO QUIERO TACO BELL !!!!!!!! BOOM SMASH BURN deuce: OPERATION ALLIED FORCE ?!?!?!? CAN'T WE COME UP WITH SOMETHING BETTER THAN THAT spigot: HOWDY FROM AMERICA spigot: GOT MILK?!?!?!!?!?!? CRASH SMASH EXPLODE spigot: I WOULD LIKE TO SEE OPERATION BOMB ALL OTHER NATIONS deuce: T SPIGOT "EXPLODE" IS NOT VERY ONOMATOPOETIC : Originally published February 30, 1999

spigot: I GUESS WE KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN TWO DONGS GO TO WAR deuce: TWO LESS DONGS IN THIS WORLD

effigy: mmm piss pants: warm

spigot: WASHING IT DOWN WITH WARM CUPS OF JIZZ JUICE AND A SNICKERS

deuce: HI SPIGOT spigot: {{{{{{{{{{{{ HI }}}}}}}}}}}}

spigot: AND A ONE AND A TWO AND A spigot: BA-GURRRRRRK

pants: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE pants: RRRRRRRRRRRR pants: WWWWWWWWWWWW pants: LLLLLLLLLLLL pants: ############# pants: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF pants: TLKGJFLDKJLKFJG pants: KEYBOARD WORKS

pants: HOLD IT pants: HOLD IT pants: HOLD IT pants: HOLD IT pants: YOU CAN'T GO IN THERE

deuce: ANY ONE URINATING IN THIS AREA WILL BE DISCHARGED effigy: TURN YOUR KEY, SIR

pants: WARNING ON LIGHTER: KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN pants: HOW THE FUCK ARE THEY SUPPOSED TO GET HIGH pants: I WILL HOLD THE LIGHTER FOR THEM pants: GROW UP AND PUT THE BONG IN YOUR MOUTH YOU GODDAMN BABY spigot: I'LL REALLY GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO SMOKE DOPE ABOUT

pants: T DEUCE MY BONER CRASHED INTO THE SEA pants: T DEUCE IT JUST FELL OUT OF THE SKY

pants: THIS STALL IS HAUNTED AS FUCK

spigot: I'VE GOT STREPTOCOCUS DISEASE AND E.COLI SO PLEASE LET ME SUCK SOME DICKS spigot: MY MOUTH HURTS spigot: STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS PEOPLE pants: LET IT FLOW deuce: WARNING ZERO ATMOSPHERIC PRESSURE

pants: HEY DOES THIS LOOK HARD ENOUGH (FOR MY PLAYGIRL CENTERFOLD) spigot: [WARNING: THIS STORY CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR UNIVERSAL AND ILLUMINATION ENTERTAINMENT'S DESPICABLE ME 3.]

spigot: ONSCREEN pants: IT'S A BBC CAPTAIN spigot: OFFSCREEN

pants: A COCKSUCKER'S LAMENT deuce: WOE IS MY BALLS pants: FOR THEY ARE TIRED AND TORN APART BY WAR (WARTORN) deuce: AND TIRED FROM DRAGGING (DRAGTIRED)

spigot: THAT'S ENOUGH OF THAT spigot: RE: MORE BONERS