spigot: I'D LIKE TO SHIFT THIS CONVERSATION BACK AROUND TO THE JIZZY DIR, ITS DWINDLING FIGURES pants: ARE YOU SAYING THAT THE JIZZY DIR IS LACKING spigot: WELL spigot: WE'RE ALL A LITTLE CONCERNED ABOUT IT pants: WELL THEN pants: LET ME CHECK THE JIZZ-O-METER spigot: OW pants: HUMMMMM WHIRRRR WORKING spigot: KINDLY UNCLAMP pants: SORRY HOLD ON pants: CLICK CLICK spigot: HUHHHHHHHHH THE DIR IS FINE ALREADY pants: EXHAUSTIVE TESTING, NO SUBSTITUTE FOR spigot: HOLY

spigot: I CAN'T TALK TO YOU AND LOOK AT THE JIZZY DIR AT THE SAME TIME deuce: T SPIGOT UNDERSTOOD deuce: T SPIGOT OVER AND OUT

spigot: A BLACK A WOMAN TWO JEWS AND A CRIPPLE spigot: THAT IS THE JOKE AND THE PUNCHLINE I GUESS

pants: THE JOY OF TYPING NONSENSE AND COMING BACK TO FIND MORE NONSENSE pants: ABSOLUTELY MURDER ME deuce: CONSIDER YOURSELF MURDERED pants: HURRY UP THEN

pants: T SPIGOT NOW YOU GOT THE JUICE spigot: T PANTS I WOULD RATHER MAKE AN EFFORT TO DO WITHOUT THE JUICE PLEASE

pants: ACCORDING TO LEGEND HALGHLAGHLA BLBLBLB GLAGLABGLABGL spigot: REMIND ME AGAIN IF WE DO JERKCITY FOR THE JUSTICE OR FOR THE LULZ

spigot: HERE IN THE LAB WE'RE DEVELOPING ARTIFICIALLY INTELLIGENT COCKS THAT SUCK THEMSELVES AND ALSO EACH OTHER spigot: HOLY GOD THE EXPERIMENT IS OUT OF CONTROL

deuce: HOW COME THOSE DINOSAURS HAVE MULTICOLORED HANDKERCHIEFS IN THEIR BACK POCKETS

pants: YOU LOVE IT WHEN THEY POKE pants: AS INDICATED BY POLLING DATA

pants: WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH MY BODY AFTER I'VE PASSED deuce: I'M CERTAINLY NOT GOING TO FUCK IT deuce: OF ALL THINGS THAT I MIGHT DO WITH YOUR BODY, THAT'S THE LAST THING I'D POSSIBLY DO deuce: WHICH IS WHY I'M MENTIONING IT FIRST

pants: I HAVE SUBJECT IN MY SIGHT HE IS HEADING TOWARDS THE BATHROOM pants: OVER

spigot: I SURE DO WISH MY PENIS WOULD RALLY IN THE LATE AFTERNOON LIKE MSFT OR NVDA spigot: ANYWAY IF YOU'RE A DRUNK DIVORCED DAD WITH A GAMBLING PROBLEM AT A STRIP CLUB GO AHEAD AND SMASH THAT SUBSCRIBE BUTTON FOR MORE LINUS TECH TIPS

spigot: SHOULD IT BE "CHRISTMASSY" OR "CHRISTMASY" deuce: THE LATTER I THINK

pants: SSSSSNAKES SSSSSSSUCKING THINGSSSSSSSSSS deuce: SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSUCKING

pants: JERKCITY IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE LETTER Q : Q : Q Q : Q Q pants: AND THE NUMBER (TRANSMISSION GARBLED) : ? atandt: YOU SMELL LIKE SOUR MILK (NOT THE GOOD KIND WAS RE: GAY CODE) : ? ? ? pants: THANK YOU FOR MAKING JERKCITY THE FATTEST GAYEST COMIC STRIP ON THE INTERNETS : POST NO BILLS

deuce: WHAT KIND OF QUEER LETTER IS T

pants: T DEUCE WE NEED ANOTHER BIG FLOOD OR SOMETHING pants: NO BEATING OFF IN THE LIBRARY deuce: BUT THERE'S _SOME_ SEX IN THE CHAMPAGNE ROOM

pants: CAN I BE PRESIDENT SOME DAY spigot: I THINK YOU'RE NEXT UNLESS THIS IS THE LINE FOR THE BATHROOM

pants: TRY AS I MIGHT I CANNOT WILL THE BONG TO LEVITATE INTO THE LIVING ROOM spigot: I'LL TRY FROM HERE pants: GODDAMNIT IT FELL HALFWAY DOWN THE HALLWAY AND GOT THE CARPET ALL BONGWATERED spigot: I NEVER LEARNED TO READ spigot: B IS FOR BONG WILL CONTINUE ON FOX KIDS

spigot: I DROPPED MY PHONE IN THE LOBSTER TANK AT SAFEWAY

pants: T DEUCE WHEN THE LARGE ALIEN THREW CAPTAIN KIRK ONTO THE BED I GOT THE HARDEST BONER I’VE EVER GOTTEN AM I GAY deuce: SHORT VERSION, YES deuce: LONG VERSION, YYYYYYYY YYYYYYYYYYYYY YYYYYYEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEESSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

deuce: HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME ALONE FOR TEN SECONDS deuce: I ALMOST GOT TIRED AND GOT BORED AND WENT TO BED deuce: THAT IS YOUR FAULT

spigot: MEL TORME IS SINGING ABOUT HOW WE SHOULD BE MORE THAN FRIENDS??????? deuce: GO FOR IT I SAY pants: I AM GOING TO SAVE MY VOTE FOR COFFEE, CAKE SNACKS, ZINGERS spigot: THE LOOK / OF DICK spigot: LITTLE OR NOTHING TO DO WITH BROWSERS AND NEARLY EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD TO DO WITH TROUSERS

atandt: AAAAAAAA FSAOIUF AIFG AFS )AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AF AOIFYU(O A AAAAAAA pants: IN SOME KIND OF ENDLESS LOOP GOING *PONK* GAY *PONK* GAY *PONK* GAY atandt: GGGGGGGGGSLHK ISOUG HSGD GGGGGGGGGGSGOPIUYGPY O*G GGGGGGGGGG SGPOU IYOSGYSOG pants: JACKING OFF TO WHATEVER THAT THING IS UNDER MATT DRUDGE'S HAT atandt: AGOGGA AG IU%^FAF FAF AF OAF^% AOF AF APFGAPFP FAAFAF FA P(F& PAFYU PAF AF PGFA&*(FP AUFP (AHFP AF AFP A(&FA)( &FA() &YFA F AFPOI& ^A)(F^& )AFY HAF AF pants: NOT GAY

spigot: CLASPING MY HANDS TOGETHER AND ASSIGNING YOU ALL STRETCH GOALS TO GET YOU OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONES spigot: HELLO I'M A NINE YEAR OLD WITH A TRUE CRIME PODCAST READING AN AD FOR DEBT CONSOLIDATION SERVICES spigot: GOODBYE STUPID :TOILET: THE LOUDEST FLUSH IN THE WORLD

deuce: (THROWN) OH THANK GOD I'M THE LUCKIEST MAN ALI (CRUSHED)

pants: I AM TOO FAT TO SIT ON THE HORSEY, THE ROCKET SHIP pants: THE MACHINERY GROANS AND STALLS spigot: HASN'T THAT DONALD DUCK SPRING BROKEN YET

deuce: YOU SAID THE MAGIC WORD dick: DO I WIN THE SPECIAL COCK?

pants: ARE YOU SURE pants: YOU WANT TO pants: RETURN pants: TO THE MAIN MENU pants: BECAUSE IF YOU'RE NOT SURE, I'M NOT SURE!!!!!!!

ozone: BUH pants: BEING GAY IN ONE PIECE pants: OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS ozone: RE: DICK pants: BETWEEN YOUR STARS AND MY GARTERS WE'RE GOING TO MAKE IT ROUGH ozone: IS THIS THE MAIN MENU pants: CLANK CLANK pants: SUDDENLY: DICKS

deuce: WHAT'S AFAF DOING THERE pants: THAT REPRESENTS THE MICROSOFT CHAT CLIENT deuce: IS THAT THE OBSERVING CLIENT WATCHING THE CONVERSATION pants: AND HOW deuce: WANNA LICK DICK pants: MAYHAP

pants: FILL ME WITH DIRT AND KISS ME GOODBYE

deuce: GRILLED MICE ON TOAST pants: I LIKE MICE pants: ALSO: BUNNIES pants: AND GUINEA PIGS pants: AND YOU

deuce: JESUS CHRIST LOVES A GOOD PUNCH TO THE HEAD (FROM TIME TO TIME) pants: HE'S LOOPY LIKE THAT (OUR LORD AND SAVIOR)

PRIVATE JIM: HOLY GOD YOU'RE PUSHING YOUR FAT WANGY DONG ALL THE WAY INTO MY FACE CAPTAIN: FUCKING OPEN YOUR MOUTH PRIVATE JIM: CHRIST MM URF THE NUTS AND BALLS WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED CAPTAIN: I'M GOING TO BEAT YOU TO DEATH WITH THIS SOAP DISH PRIVATE JIM: MORE DANGEROUS IN THE TOILET THAN I EVER IMAGINED CAPTAIN: WHAM WHAM WHAM I'M GOING TO SOAP YOU ALL UP

pants: I WILL NEVER STOP USING THE MASTER BRANCH

deuce: I COULD SERIOUSLY USE AN EXTRA PRICK (THAT WHY I COULD JERK OFF WITH TWO HANDS) spigot: THEN FINALLY A TWO GUY -> ONE GIRL SCENE WOULD FUCKING MAKE SENSE pants: COCKS deuce: BUT THAT WOULD BE FOUR PRICKS ?!?!??! YES ?!?!?!? spigot: YOU ARE WRAPPING A MOBIUS STRIP OF VIDEOTAPE AROUND AND AROUND THE MATH/PORN PART OF MY MIND

spigot: GODDAMNIT LADY I SAID ON THE PHONE I NEEDED SOMEONE TO DRIBBLE AND DROOL LONG STRINGY STRANDS OF SLOBBER ALL OVER MY DICK AND SUBSEQUENTLY HER FACE !!!!!!!!!! INSTEAD YOU ARE COPPING SOME LOSER-BITCH ATTITUDE WHICH FORCES ME TO BAND YOUR HEAD AGAINST THE MARBLE SINK deuce: THE MATING RITUALS OF SPIGOT spigot: NEXT ON DISCOVERY????? OR BIOGRAPHY spigot: YOU'VE MADE US THE LAUGHING STOCK OF THE ENTIRE QUADRANT

deuce: WELL HOLY SHIT deuce: WELCOME TO QUEER TOWN deuce: I'M THE MAYOR

spigot: I'M GOOD AND PLENTY pants: GET OFFA ME spigot: TODAY WE HONOR THE MEN AND WOMEN WHO CLEAN OUR TOILETS

pants: THAT STRAY DOT IS BACK hanford: WHAT THE SHIT pants: SCOOP IT UP WITH A BIG NET hanford: I'LL CALL SECURITY pants: JEAN-CHARLES HOW COULD YOU BETRAY ME LIKE THIS YOU KNOW THE QUEEN IS ALLERGIC TO NUTS hanford: YEAH HI IT'S ME THAT DOT IS BACK

pants: I DON'T SEE WHY YOUR TRANSMISSION NEEDS TO BE ENCRYPTED (SWEATING, MAD) deuce: LOOK AT HIM GO

spigot: :NOTES: :TV: WHO'S GOT TIME / FOR THE MID-DAY SQUIRTS :BASKETBALL: 🗑️ :STAR2: :100: :GLASS_OF_MILK::GLASS_OF_MILK::GLASS_OF_MILK::GLASS_OF_MILK::GLASS_OF_MILK::GLASS_OF_MILK: :DOUGHNUT::DOUGHNUT::DOUGHNUT::DOUGHNUT::DOUGHNUT:

pants: WELP ANYWAY LET'S GO OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WOODS TOGETHER (NO REASON) pants: C'MON GET IN deuce: SURELY NOTHINGBAD WILL HAPPEN deuce: TO EITHER OF US pants: NOT ON SUCH A SPLENDID DAY SUCH AS TODAY

spigot: T DEUCE WILL YOU JOIN ME AT THE MILKING TABLE pants: COME ON MAN I’M RIGHT HERE YOU KNOW I LOVE THE MILKING TABLE HE WON’T BE AWAKE FOR HOURS

deuce: AND FINALLY WE THOUGHT WE WERE DONE WITH THIS pants: OH I'M SORRY AM I BORING YOU WITH THE MINUTIAE OF MY LIFE

deuce: YOU KNOW WHAT'S MOST AMAZING ABOUT CONJOINED TWINS ????????? THAT WE DON'T EXTERMINATE THEM ANYMORE FOR BEING CLEAR GENETIC ABERRATIONS deuce: THE MIRACLES OF MODERN MEDICINE PREVENT US FROM EXECUTING OUR MOST BASIC DRIVES: IT'S DIFFERENT SO I MUST KILL IT deuce: UM I MEAN COCKS

deuce: YEAH BB 50 TOK FOR TITS

spigot: LET'S GO TO THE MOON AND LICK DICK deuce: YOU KNOW WE DON'T HAVE TO GO TO THE MOON FOR ALL THAT deuce: (I.E., A SPACE IN MY BATHROOM JUST OPENED UP) spigot: THE WHOLE POINT IS THAT WE GET NASA INVOLVED

deuce: HOW COME TONIGHT THE MOON IS ALL FULL WHEN YESTERDAY THE MOON WAS BRUISED AND REDDISH BEATEN LIKE A DATE GONE ALL BAD pants: IT FELL DOWN THE STAIRS deuce: THE MOON WAS PUSHED

pants: BLAST ME OFF deuce: SENDING YOU TO THE MOON, MARS, PAST THE ASTEROID BELT pants: COLD OUT HERE deuce: SHOULDA BROUGHT A JACKET

spigot: PEEKABOO! I LICK DICK spigot: WHO spigot: HUH spigot: DIZZY HERE spigot: I THINK THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS BOY AM I GOING TO SUCK DICK THIS SPRING

spigot: I'D RATHER BE STUCK IN AN ELEVATOR WITH A FILTHY, OBSCENE DOM DELOUISE THAN A FAMILY-ORIENTED BLABBERY DOM DELOUISE spigot: THE MORE YOU KNOW

spigot: THAT'S RIGHT LADY YOUR FACE IS FULL OF POO spigot: THAT'S WHY THEY'RE CALLED PERSONAL ADS

spigot: I'M THE NIBBLES AWAY SO PLEASE BRUN ME deuce: T SPIGOT THE MORE YOU PUT IT OFF THE MORE THE BITS WILL PILE UP !!!!

spigot: OPENING THE MORNING PAPER EVERY DAY TO SEE IF I'VE BEEN CANCELLED OR #METOO'D deuce: MY NAME IS MATT GAETZ AND I LOVE PENIS MORE THAN YOU LOVE LIFE pants: LOVE 2 VANDALIZE THE ENCYCLOPEDIA

pants: T DEUCE YOU'RE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL IN HACKNEY Y'KNOW deuce: WOT

.(pants): JERKCITY FOREVER .(pants): AND EVER AND EVER .(pants): AMEN pants: THIS JUST IN: pants: TWITTER.COM/DEUCEATJERKCITY pants: THE MOST IMPORTANT THING ON THE INTERNET pants: EVER

deuce: FOLKS DON'T PUT HOT LIQUID NEAR YOUR CROTCH pants: BUT IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR

deuce: NOT ONE FUCKING WORD YOU MONKEY atandt: BLEAT

spigot: spider-man and his spider-purse

spigot: I WATCHED DJANGO UNCHAINED TWO TIMES AND NOT ONCE DID I HEAR THE N-WORD pants: WHAT ABOUT IN LES MISRABLES

deuce: DID I MISS ANYTHING FUNNY pants: N

pants: MY BONER IS QUESTIONING THE NATURE OF ITS REALITY deuce: IT IS NOT WRONG

deuce: :SWEAT_DROPS: pants: EEW deuce: SHUT UP AND HOLD STILL pants: WHY WOULD YOU SPRITZ WATER ON ME deuce: TH-TH-THAT'S N-N-NOT pants: I-IT IS THOUGH??? pants: UNLESS I'VE MISUNDERSTOOD THE NATURE OF OUR RELATIONSHIP OVER THE YEARS I CAN ONLY CONCLUDE YOU WERE SPRITZING ME???

spigot: T DEUCE EAU DE TOILETTE deuce: THAT MEANS TOILET GAYS (spigot): LE FACE DU SPURT spigot: IS THIS THE NBC COMEDY BARN?????

spigot: BLINDFOLD ME AND PUT ME ANYWHERE IN TOWN AND I'LL STUMBLE AND BUMBLE MY WAY TO THE NEAREST KNISH CART spigot: HALF THE PEOPLE ON THIS BUS HAVE SNICKERDOODLES spigot: WE NEED MORE AEROSOL FOODS AND WE NEED THEM AIMED AT MY MOUTH spigot: CAN WE GET A ROUND TABLE GOING ON THIS

deuce: I LEAVE THIS ROOM FOR TWENTY SECONDS AND YOU'RE ALL NAKED AND SMEARING EACH OTHER WITH POO spigot: WILL GLADLY PERFORM THE NEEDFUL SCROLLBACK BUT I DO NOT RECALL THAT SCENARIO UNFOLDING

pants: CAPTAINS LOG, pants: STARDATE 1 pants: JUST INVENTED STARDATES

pants: AND THEN THERE WAS SILENCE pants: FOLLOWED BY HLAHGULAUGH LAHLAHGLUAHG pants: AND THAT'S ALL THE NEWS WE HAVE TONIGHT

spigot: I'VE GOT TO COMB MY HAIR AND LEAVE THE STALL LIKE A NORMAL PERSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOBODY IS STARING AT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

deuce: LET'S YOU AND ME JERK DONGS NOW spigot: THAT'S THE NICEST THING ANYONE'S EVER SAID TO ME

spigot: I BENT OVER TO PICK UP A NICKEL AND SPONTANEOUSLY DID AN AEROSOL SQUIRT!!!!!!!!!! pants: THIS IS CLEARLY HIS TERRITORY deuce: DID YOU FINALLY GET THE NICKEL spigot: THERE WAS NO NI- spigot: YES deuce: THAT IS THE SADDEST STORY I'VE EVER HEARD

spigot: ON THE FIRST DAY OF CHRISTMAS MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME spigot: A COCK pants: MAD MONEY DOWNGRADED JERKCITY TO "FAT" FROM "USELESS" !!! SELL SELL SELL spigot: LATER DIPSHITS

deuce: MY NAME'S NOAM CHOMSKY / AND I LIKE TO CHOMP

deuce: MMMMMMMMMMMM YEAH SMEARING, POOING pants: GROSS pants: YET TURNED ON deuce: THAT IS THE NORMAL RESPONSE deuce: EXCEPT FOR THE TURNED ON PART

pants: I LIKE THE NOTION OF ALBERT BROOKS BUT NOT NECESSARILY ALBERT BROOKS IN PRACTICE deuce: THE ABSTRACT CONCEPT OF pants: HAVING HIM AVAILABLE BUT NOT USING HIM deuce: KEEPING HIM ON THE BENCH spigot: THE FUCK IS EVERYONE TALKING ABOUT

atandt: I'M SMOOSHING THIS HERE TWIX INSIDE THIS ROCKY ROAD MARSHMELLOW CHOCOLATE BAR atandt: THE OBVIOUS END RESULT BEING CHOCOLATE FATNESS spigot: YOU ARE SERIOUSLY DOUBLING OR TRIPLING THE NOUGAT atandt: IT'S NOT THE NOUGAT THAT WORRIES ME spigot: ACROBAT

deuce: T PANTS PLEASE HOLD ME AND NEVER LET ME GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG pants: BARELY SQUEEZING THE O OUT pants: SOMETIMES THE O IS THE HARDEST PART pants: T DEUCE PLEASE DO NOT PUT YOUR HANDS UNDER MY BRA (E.G. PET ON TOP OF THE SWEATER)

atandt: WHEN IS BIG FAGGOTY DICK PART III COMING pants: WHAT DO YOU CARE (SOB) hanford: SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP atandt: WHEN IS "HAIKU WEEK WITH ATANDT" pants: I SEE NO REASON FOR A NAZI SYMBOL TATTOOED ON MY ASS hanford: I HAVE A HANDGUN atandt: I AM NOT A RESOURCE OR A CRITICAL PATH pants: PANEL THREE ALREADY ??? I WAS GOING TO SAY "COCKS" BUT NOW...

pants: the official position of my dong is that it cannot be soft spigot: or do you just pour the cement over her and done

spigot: ICED LEMON POUNDCAKES FROM STARBUCKS ARE BEST STRAIGHT FROM THE BAG BUT THEY NEED TO PUT THEM IN THE RIGHT WAY deuce: NAMELY, ASS-FIRST

pants: WOW, THE OLDEN DAYS SURE DID SUCK deuce: YEP

dick: DID YOU HEAR THE ONE ABOUT THE BIG MEXICAN WHO'S RAPING ME deuce: NO !!!! HOW'S IT GO ??? dick: NOT VERY FUNNY

pants: IT WAS ONLY THE ONE GOAT THE ONE TIME SO SHUT UP

deuce: I IDENTIFY AS A G2 TYPE MAIN SEQUENCE YELLOW DWARF STAR pants: TAKE IT OFF spigot: HANG YOURSELF

spigot: PINK PINK BINK BA-DINK PINK DINK PA-DINK BINK PINK spigot: THE ONE LIGHT ABOVE YOU THAT WILL NOT TURN ON pants: BUZZZZZZZ pants: HUMMMMMMM

spigot: HELLO spigot: CLONK spigot: BONK spigot: HOW DOES THIS WORK spigot: HURP

pants: LIE DOWN AND THINK NICE THOUGHTS AND JUST BE GAY WITH ME spigot: I'M A CLEVER CLEVER MAN pants: JUST STOP LOOKING FOR PIRATE TREASURE AND BE GAY WITH ME spigot: SERIOUSLY THERE ARE PIECES OF EIGHT JINGLE-JANGLING AROUND MY PANTS/SOCKS pants: FINE THEN I'LL FIND SOMEBODY WHO WILL BE GAY WITH ME spigot: IF YOU CAN REACH IN AND GRAB THEM THAT WOULD BE SUPER

pants: SNIFF : DEUCE COMFORTS PANTS pants: KICKS ROCK, LOOKS AT SHOES pants: DIDN'T WANT NO STUPID OLD DICK ANYWAY

deuce: APPEASEMENT ONLY MAKES THE AGGRESSOR MORE AGGRESSIVE pants: I DIDN'T WANT TO LICK HIS DICK ANYWAY

deuce: THE ONE WHERE KIRK AND UHURA KISS spigot: I WOULD LIKE TO FART IN YOUR FACE FOR THE FULL HOUR spigot: $20 $40 $60 $80 ETC deuce: I THINK THAT WOULD BE AT THE $60 LEVEL deuce: OKAY A QUARTER spigot: I'M BROKE deuce: A FREEBIE THEN

spigot: THEY CAN'T RECALL THE ONES IN MY CUPBOARD!!!!!!!! HOMPTH GHLGT)GK spigot: HGURBHJR%JB pants: ARE YOU OKAY spigot: PUFFIES

pants: i'll have the fat boy's asshole (it's the only gluten-free item on the menu) deuce: oh my

spigot: FOLKS THE ONLY MEASURED, LOGICAL RESPONSE IS A JERKCITY CARD GAME WITH A BIG THICK HARDCOVER RULEBOOK RIDDLED WITH INCONSISTENCIES AND IMPOSSIBLE TO FOLLOW OR PLAY CORRECTLY deuce: PSST THOSE ARE MOST CARD GAMES spigot: PLEASE DON'T CONTRADICT ME IN FRONT OF THE WEB CARTOONISTS

spigot: AM I THE ONLY GODDAMN LIAR IN AMERICA STILL LYING spigot: i hope no girls read this

spigot: AM I THE ONLY ONE CAPABLE OF DRINKING 12 CANS OF GUINNESS BEFORE NOON WHERE'S MY GODDAMN PARADE DOWN QUEER STREET pants: IS THAT THE SAMETHING AS A JUICE CLEANSE

spigot: AM I THE ONLY PERSON ON EARTH WHO DOESN'T THINK YOU SHOULD STUFF DOZENS OF PRUNES UP YOUR REAR END AND THEN BLOG ABOUT IT

pants: GAHHHHH 2019 spigot: i'm still writing i lick dick on my checks spigot: the only place I can blog safely spigot: nope, wells fargo just told everyone