pants: IF YOU TRY HARD YOU REALLY CAN MASTURBATE TO ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY'S THEATER SECTION !!! BUT JESUS CHRIST BY THE SECOND PARAGRAPH I'M ALREADY STARTING TO WISH I WAS SOMEWHERE ELSE
pants: I AM ATTEMPTING TO TRAIN MYSELF TO JERK OFF OVER HOUSEHOLD OBJECTS, MAGAZINES IN THE IMPULSE-BUY SECTION OF THE SUPERMARKET, THE LITTLE TIVO GUY
pants: THUS FAR THE EXPERIMENT CAN ONLY BE DESCRIBED AS A COMPLETE FAILURE !!! I AM CHUGGING AND TUGGING YET THIS MICROWAVE CART IS NOT GETTING ANY SEXIER
