spigot: I AM SERILY PERTURBED WITH REGARD TO HOW MANY CHIPS WERE ACTUALLY IN THE BIG PUFFY BAG
spigot: MMF URMPH YOU ARE SHAKING ME AND SETTLING ME AND FINALLY SHIPPING ME
pants: I WILL SHELVE YOU (PRICING GUN)
spigot: I AM HALF OFF WITH A LUCKY REWARDS CARD
pants: I AM INSTRUCTING OTHERS NOT TO CHECK YOU FOR RIPENESS, ETC.