pants: SOME MANNER OF HORRIBLE MACHINE THAT SUCKS ALL THE DICKS
spigot: GRAND OPENING!!! CASTRO BLOW 'N' GO
spigot: IT STARTS FROM WITHIN
pants: GLORYHOLES THAT GIVE 404 ERRORS
pants: TAKING JOBS FROM AMERICANS LIKE ME
spigot: TUBS/TROUGHS/SPECIAL-PURPOSE BENCHES!!!!!! ADMISSION $15
