spigot: MY ASS HURTS!!!!!!
pants: OKAY BYE
spigot: NO SERIOUSLY MY ASS REALLY HURTS
pants: AND???
spigot: CAN YOU STICK YOUR HAND UP THERE AND HELP
pants: OH MY GOD
spigot: PLEASE???? I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS
pants: **SIGH** ALL RIGHT
spigot: OW
spigot: OW OW OW OW OW OKAY OW ENOUGH
pants: HOLD STILL
pants: DUDE I JUST PULLED OUT A SOLID GOLD WATCH
spigot: HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!!!!